


Shut Your Mouth and Listen Closely

by SimplyUndead



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Angst, Anime, Arcade, Boy x boy, Christmas, Cookies, Cuddling, Cute Phil, Defiance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Thinks They're Together, Flirting, Fluff, Food Fights, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hanging Out, Happy Ending, Harry Potter References, Hobbit Hair, Judgement, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Mentions of Death, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Muse - Freeform, Mute Dan Howell, PTSD, Phan - Freeform, Phan Comfort, Phandom - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform, Protection, Protective Phil, Sassy Dan, Selectively Mute Dan Howell, Texting, baking cakes, chaptered story, cute Dan, dan has ptsd, dan's hobbit hair, everyone ships it, everyone's a shipper, insecure, making fun, passing notes, phan texting, picking on others, reassurance, roller skating, theyre dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-04-29 15:23:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 53,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5132549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplyUndead/pseuds/SimplyUndead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is mute with an unfortunate past. Phil is a nice boy with a warm heart and love to give.</p><p> </p><p>**Story title credit: Last Flight Home by All Time Low**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Red Pens and Silent Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this story. Have fun reading!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoy this story. Have fun reading!

** check out this snazzy cover i made [here](http://bahhumbuglester.tumblr.com/post/134577967598/snazzy-cover-i-made) **

 

"Hiya, Dan!" Phil smiled, taking his seat next to said boy in his history class. Dan smiled and waved in return.

"How was your weekend?" Phil asked. The boy had turned in his seat, facing Phil. He had his chin resting in his hand and his fingers curled over his lips. This position looked completely casual, but Phil was pretty sure he sat this way to keep himself from talking. Having his mouth covered was a gentle reminder not to speak.

Dan just shrugged and gave a little smile. This meant that it was okay. Nothing special, but pretty good.

"That's good. My brother Martyn visited this weekend, so my mom made us all go out to this fancy dinner. It was boring as hell. Everyone was in dresses and tuxedos. God, I hated it." Phil groaned, continuing to talk about how he hated it. And all the while, Dan smiled and nodded. He even let out little giggles at certain parts, but he never said a word.

That's the thing about Dan Howell; he doesn't talk. He started school at Spring Forest this year and they were about two months into their last year. No one had heard him speak, though. He hasn't uttered a word since day one and no one knew why. The only reason anyone knows his name is because the the teachers would call roll and the boy's hand would shoot up.

Most of the students found it weird, so they didn't talk to him. But, a few did speak to him. They had all tried to get him to talk, and when he wouldn't budge, they gave up and went on. The same went for the teachers. They had all tried to make him speak, asking him questions that couldn't be answered with a shake of the head, sighing when they never got a reply. Everyone had eventually given up on the boy, stopped talking to him. Except for Phil.

Phil would talk to the boy every class they had together, would talk to him at lunch, would even walk the boy home. He approached Dan differently, though. He didn't pressure the boy into talking, didn't get angry when he never got a reply. You see, Phil had watched how the boy responded to things. He had noticed that Dan understood everything in his surroundings and he didn't look like he had a disability. Dan's lack of talking was his own choice, and Phil respected that, knowing that the boy would talk when he was ready.

"And my sister, Louise, kept kicking me under the table. She's older than me, so you'd think she's more mature, but she's not. So, I ended up throwing a piece of my chicken at her. You should have seen the waiter's face, Dan. He looked down right repulsed." Phil chuckled. Dab giggled at the story, and, oh, how Phil loved the sound. It was the closest thing he had to hearing Dan's voice, and he loved it. His giggle was adorable and it was so beautiful. It was like hearing the symphony of a thousand orchestras playing at once.

"Alright, class, settle down," the teacher said, interrupting the two boy's conversation. "Take out your assignments from Friday and exchange them with your table partner to grade. As you can see, there are already red pens on your desks. The scoring guide and today's assignment is on the board. Get to work."

Phil sighed and handed Dan his paper. They quickly graded the papers and handed them back to each other, getting out their books and working on the assignment together.

Technically, they weren't supposed to work together, but their teacher let it slide, mostly because they were never loud and he knew that if Dan needed help, he couldn't ask anyone about it. Perhaps Mr.Finnegan was the only one besides Phil that cared and he just showed it differently, but cared nonetheless. Anyway, Phil was the only one at this school remotely able to read and decipher Dan's expressions.

It was a little while later, after the two boy's had finished their paper, when the bell rang. Phil smiled at Dan and packed his stuff up.

"Later, Dan! See you in biology." He chriped. Dan nodded, grinned, and waved before walking off in the opposite direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, tell me what you think! Should I continue on? What's your opinion. (Also, the chapters won't be super long, but most will be longer than this.)


	2. Boyish Grins and English Papers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooh 2nd chapter!

Phil enjoyed some parts of school. He liked talking to his friends, PJ and Chris. He loved talking to Dan; the boy was just so intriguing. He liked the classes he shared with the three boys and he liked lunch because he got to talk to said boys.

But, there was one thing he absolutely despised about school. English class.

He hated all the essays they had to write. Phil loved to read and he didn't mind writing. He just hated the topics they had to write about. Every single prompt was always about some subject that he couldn't care less about. Pollution, teen pregnancy, teens and drug abuse, and things of the like.

Yeah, they were all problematic things going on in the world, but sitting in a classroom and writing a five page essay about it wasn't going to solve anything. And today's assignment was to write a 2,000 word essay about whether or not frigging calculators should be allowed in the classroom. Phil groaned. This was their third useless essay this year.

"Okay, class, you already know the prompt, so get to writing. You will have today and tomorrow to work on this paper in class, but after that, you're on your own. If you have any questions, I suggest you ask on one of the two days we're working on this. It's due next Monday, so get busy." The teacher, Mrs. Smith, said in a strict tone of voice. She glared the entire class, shooting daggers at any student who even looked up from their paper.

Finally, after an hour of torture, the bell rang, signalling that it was time to go home. Phil shot up out of his chair, packed his things in a rush, and was out the door to go find Dan and walk home.

He was walking to the quiet boy's locker when he heard his friend, Chris, yell from behind him, "Yo, Lester! Come here for a second, would yah?" He turned around and saw Chris and PJ leaning against a set of lockers.

Phil sighed, but walked over anyway, "Chris! What's up?" He was willing this conversation to speed up because he didn't wanna miss out on walking Dan home.

"So, we've noticed that you've been spending a lot time with that Howell kid recently. Is that right?" Chris asked. Phil smiled at the mention of Dan's name. He nodded.

"Yep, sure have. He's a pretty cool kid." Phil mused. PJ cocked an eyebrow.

"So, you've heard him talk, then?" PJ asked. Phil shook his head.

"Nope." He said. He didn't understand why his two friends cared so much.

"You've just been talking to a mime this whole time, then? He's never talked back?" Chris asked rudely. Phil was starting to get a little angry by their rude remarks and he went to say something, when they started shaking their heads, silently telling him to shut up. Phil just got angrier.

"I'm not going to be quiet. He's not a mime. He's a normal person, like you or me. He just talks less. He doesn't speak verbally, but we still have conversations. He's a listener, you guys. Dan is probably smarter than everyone in this school because he pays attention to every little detail. You don't have to speak to communicate." Phil finished his little speech calmly. His friends just didn't understand, and that was okay.

"Turn around." Chris whispered. Phil gave him a weird look. Why were they whispering now? They hadn't been when they were calling Dan a mime. He sighed, a little agitated that they hadn't been listening to him, and turned around.

He was met with a dark brown-haired boy wearing a black t-shirt and black skinny jeans.

"Dan..." Phil trailed off, worried that the silent boy would now hate him because his friends had been talking so rudely.

"I'm sorry you had to hear them. They can be a bit of an ass from time to time, but they usually mean well." Phil explained, still fearful. Dan's expression was blank, not giving any insight into him brain.

Then, out of nowhere, Dan was giving him a small hug and smiling brightly. His eyes expressed thankfulness and his smile was huge, showing of his pearly white teeth. Dan was thankful that Phil had stuck up for him, and Phil knew it. Dan didn't have to say it, didn't have to say anything because Phil knew what he was feeling. Gratitude.

"No problem, Dan. They just don't understand, is all. I'm sure if they took the time to talk to you, they'd like you just as much as I do." Phil mused. He blushed slightly when he realized that he had told Dan he liked him, but he went on. Chris and PJ were still standing there, watching the two boys interact. They looked a bit jealous, and Phil noticed.

"Later, guys. I'll text you sometime." Phil called, beginning to walk home with Dan. It was quiet until they got into their neighborhood. Cars were passing and children were laughing. So, Phil began to talk.

"Hey, did you start on that essay in Mrs. Smith's yet?" Phil asked. They didn't share that class, much to his dismay. Dan nodded and rolled his eyes, giving a little groan. Phil read this as he was annoyed with the paper as well. Phil chuckled at the boy.

"God, don't even get me started on it. I hope she knows that making a bunch of angst-filled teenagers write a report on stupid calculators isn't going to increase our writing skills. This is the third useless one this year!" Phil huffed. Dan giggled at him.

"So, did you hear about Muse going on tour?" Phil asked, watching Dan's eyes light up and his head nod rapidly.

"They're coming to Manchester. I just have to get tickets. They'll be there in the first of January or something." Phil said excitedly. Dan was smiling and giving a look, telling him that he wished to go. Phil smiled and nodded.

"I'm totally taking you with me, if I can. It would be a blast, Dan!" Phil said. Dan giggled as they came to stop at his house, letting Phil finish what he had to say. After he finished talking, Dan pulled out his phone, tapped the screen a few times, then handed the cellular device to Phil.

Phil was quick to type in his name and number. He settled on 'Phil the Ferocious Lion :D'

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Dan! You'd better text me. Have a good night. " Phil smiled. The boy returned the grin, nodded, and waved before opening up the gate and walking to his house. Phil walked backwards, making sure Dan got inside safe before turning around heading home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, if you don't mind taking a second to comment, it will be so appreciated and will motivate me to update sooner. Also, by the looks of things, you guys seem to be liking it, so that makes me very happy! :*


	3. Late Nights and Sweet Exchanges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so basically this entire story is mainly fluff with a dash of angst and other stuff, but the overall theme is fluff and cuteness because this is my first chaptered phan and I wanted to start off with light stuff (of course, stuff actually happens, it's not all cuddles and rainbows)
> 
> I hope that's not a problem

It was later that night, well past dark, when Phil's phone lit up from the coffee table in front of the couch where he was sat. He shot up off of the sofa and grabbed the device, smiling at the notification.

From Unknown Number: Hey, Phil! It's me, Dan. c:

Phil grinned wildly and saved the number under 'Dan H :)' and quickly texted back. 

P: Hey! What took you so long? I was worried you wouldn't text me. :(

D: Sorry. I didn't want to seem desperate. Though, you seem that way. XD

Phil was smiling brightly. It made him happy to have Dan replying with actual words, even if only through type and he couldn't hear him speak. He actually got to know the boy better this way.

P: I'm not desperate! I just wanted to talk to you, is all. 

D: Like I said before, desperate. :D lol, what's up?

P: Doing maths homework. :/

D: Laaaaame. ;)

P: Tell me about it. For the past seven years of my life I've been finding Maths' Ex. He needs to move on and get over her, man. 

D: You're an idiot, Phil Lester. :D

P: I may be an idiot, but I'm not stupid. :D Dude, what's the answer to #25? I can't figure it out.

D: I dunno. I left my paper at school. You're on your own on this one. 

P: You left your paper? Dude, Mrs. Greene will kill you for not having it done! 

D: I finished it in class. XD sucks for you.

Phil laughed. He was glad that the boy seemed to have the same sense of humor that he did. He quickly replied.

P: Lucky ass. Can I copy in History?

D: Hey, I have a nice ass. And sure, if you're a good boy. (;

Phil audibly laughed, then he quickly packed his unfinished worksheet in his bag.

P: Hmm, I'll be the judge of that. And, what are talking about? I'm always good. c:

"Hey, Phil. Who are you texting?" Louise asked, plopping down on the sofa next to her brother. Phil internally groaned and locked his phone, shoving it to the side.

"I was talking to a friend." He said. He knew that since she had seen him messaging someone, he would get interrogated about them. It was frustrating because Louise did this with every friend Phil had ever had. She claims that she just wants to make sure he's safe and not hanging with the wrong crowd. And even though Phil won't admit it, he thought it was sweet and he was glad his sister cared so much.

"PJ or Chris?" Louise asked. She'd met them countless times. She'd even joined them at video games on a few different occasions. Phil shook his head.

"Neither. It's Dan." He said. He felt his phone vibrate next to him and resisted the urge to check it straight away.

"Oh. Is Dan a friend or a 'special' friend?" Louise said suggestively, wiggling her eyebrows. Phil just laughed and shook his head.

"You're something else, Lou. You really are. But, Dan is just my friend. He's very different and I like that about him." Phil smiled. 

"Different how? He doesn't do cocaine, does he? Because that stuff will mess you up." Louise said protectively. Phil smiled her and shook his head, watching her visibly relax.

"No, silly. Dan is, well, mute." He said. Louise looked kind of shocked.

"Oh, that is different. I've never really met anyone like that. What's he like?" She asked. Phil was glad that she didn't sound judgmental. Dan was just a little different. He was unique.

"He's super sweet. Not very many people talk to him. And when they do, they just try to pressure him into talking. He doesn't like that at all. But, he's never mean to anyone. He's a really good listener, too. And not just 'cause he doesn't talk, he actually listens. Dan is different, and I like it. I think you'd like him, too." Phil smiled. He was rambling on and on about all of the things he adored about the boy, getting lost in his own mind.

"He seems very nice. I'd love to meet him sometime." Louise said. Phil was surprised that she had accepted him so fast. She usually disliked every person Phil came in contact with, excepting PJ and Chris, of course.

"Yeah. It'd be cool to have him over sometime. But, I want him to be comfortable before I start dragging him into my house. Don't wanna scare him away, you know?" Phil said. Louise smiled.

"You definitely wanna steer clear of here then." She joked. Phil laughed and nodded. Their home was definitely colorful. With Martyn visiting from college, Louise getting ready to go into college, and Phil still a teenage boy, things definitely got messy. Not to mention their dad being gone on work trips a lot, leaving their mother to work and take care of the house.

"Definitely." He smiled before getting up at going to his room. He grabbed his phone, anxious to resume talking to the boy. He noted that there were now two texts from Dan.

D: You? Good? I'd believe it when I see it? And you'd better not be checking me out, Lester.

D: why you no talk to me? D:

Phil chuckled at the last one. He could just see Dan pouting now. His brown eyes, big and doe-like. His soft, pink lips placed perfectly in a plump pout.

P: Who sounds desperate now? XD Louise was interrogating me. 

D: I'm not desperate! I just wanted to talk to you, is all. 

P: Don't use my words against me, Howell. I know where you live. 

D: oooh, I'm so scared. C: So, what do you like to do in your spare time?

P: I feel like this question could be taken sexually. If you're trying to ask me if I masturbate, then don't be shy. (;

D: Haha! No, seriously, I meant like, hobbies and stuff.

Phil laughed, noting that the boy probably had a bright blush on his face.

P: Right, right. Of course that's what you meant. ;) Umm, I read, listen to music, I like video games, and drawing is pretty fun. How about you?

D: Oh, an artist, I see. :D I love music, too! Actually, I play the piano. Self-taught, mostly. I also can kick your ass at Mario Kart. I definitely love reading and I used to sing a lot before I stopped talking.

Phil frowned. He loved getting to know Dan, but it really sucked that he couldn't sing anymore. Dan seemed pretty comfortable talking about it, so Phil decided to see if he could talk about it a little. But, not too much, he didn't want to make the boy uncomfortable. 

P: I'd love to hear you play the piano sometime and I bet you have an amazing singing voice. 

Dan replied back quickly, and Phil breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he hadn't upseted the boy.

D: I miss it sometimes. I'll get the urge to sing, but, you know.

P: Well, I'd love to hear something sometime.

Phil hit send before he could think twice and mentally slapped himself. He just had to type 'hear.' As in, Dan would have to speak. He was such a fucking idiot sometimes. 

He was determined that he had upset Dan and ruined their whole friendship after a few minutes of no replies. He was about to give up all hope when a text came trough that made him sigh in relief.

D: Maybe, some day. You still have to prove that you're a good boy. (;

And just like that, they were back to their playful banter.

P: You really think I'm bad, huh? I'll have you know that I've never watched a PG movie without parental guidance.

D: Haha! :D Somehow, I don't believe that.

P: You'd be stupid if you did. XD

They continued to text for a little while longer, getting to know more about each other. So far, Phil had gathered that Dan's middle name was James, he liked the colors blue and black, he liked Malteasers, and his favorite book series was Harry Potter. 

Phil yawned and stretched in his bed, awaiting a reply. His phone vibrated in his hand, sending a wave of excitement through his body.

D: Holy shit! It's 2 AM. Have we seriously been texting this long?

Phil glanced at the clock on his phone, seeing that it was in fact the early hours of morning. He had been oblivious to the time while he was so busy talking to Dan. 

P: Shit, I guess we have. We'd better call it a night, huh?

Honestly, Phil didn't care if he was tired at school. He'd stay up the rest if the night talking to Dan if he could. This was the first time he'd actually gotten to see how Dan's brain works, how he formed sentences, his likes and dislikes, his interests and hobbies. He was downright fascinated with this boy and he wanted to know more. He wanted to know everything.

D: I guess so. I'll see you in a few hours, Phil. C:

P: See you soon, Dan. Sweet dreams. C:

D: Sleep well. And be good, bad boy. ;)

P: For the last time, 'Good' is my middle name. Good night. :*

D: Mhm, sure. XD good night! 

Phil had to fight the urge to reply back to him. There wouldn't be anything to say, anyway. So, he just stared at the text for a few more minutes, smiling to himself and willing History class to come sooner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments have been so lovely so far. Reading them and replying always puts me in such a good mood. Keep it up, will you? I love to know what you guys are thinking about! :*


	4. Fresh Cookies and Unexpected Invitations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4th chapter wowsers   
> Enjoy

It was early in the morning. Too early. He had, surprisingly, made it to school before Dan had and was sat in their first class, waiting for said boy to show up. He had his head down on the table with his eyes shut, trying to rest. He was extremely tired from staying up so late last night. He didn't regret talking to Dan, quite the opposite actually, he was just sleep deprived.

He must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing he knew, Dan was sat beside him, poking his side. Phil's head shot up in a panic and he quickly wiped the drool that had formed on the corner of his mouth. 

He heard Dan giggle from beside him and quickly turned to look at the boy, "Fuck, Dan. It's just you. Scared me." Dan shook his head and gave him a sympathetic smile, telling him he was sorry.

"I'm so tired. Are you?" Phil yawned. Dan nodded and shrugged. He was tired, but obviously not as tired as Phil.

"What sucks even more is that my parents don't like coffee, so we don't even own a coffee maker. Do your parents drink coffee?" Phil asked. He was lacking in his excitement and interesting conversation material due to the lack sleep. By the end of the day he should be on his game, though. Dan nodded happily.

"Lucky ass. I bet you had coffee this morning, huh?" Phil asked. Dan nodded again and held up two slim, long fingers.  Phil was about to reply when their History teacher walked through the door.

"Alright, guys. It's Friday and I have a serious headache, so you guys have a free period. Do whatever you like, just don't get loud because I will kill you." He half-joked, going to his desk and laying his head down. The class snickered at him, but soon started doing their own things. Some chatted amongst their friends, some finished up on homework that was no doubt due today, and others who didn't have any friends in this class read or listened to music. Phil pulled out his phone and ear buds, pushing shuffle. He offered a bud to Dan, to which the boy happily accepted. 

Dan nodded a thanks and Phil shrugged, "No problem. Hey, can I copy those maths problems?" Dan nodded and handed him the sheet of equations.

That's how the class was spent, the two boys listening to Fall Out Boy and talking along while Phil copied down formulas and answers. A little while after Phil had finished his paper, he ended up dozing off on Dan's shoulder with music playing quietly in the background. He didn't mean to fall asleep, honest, but he did notice how nice the boy's scent was - a calming strawberry-lemon - as his eyelids drooped shut.

Eventually, the bell rang, waking Phil from his slumber. His eyes snapped open, and once he realized that he was laying on Dan's shoulder, he raises his head up. He heard people snickering behind him, but he didn't give a fuck. He was more worries that he had crossed some boundry and possibly jeopardized their friendship.

He looked at the boy frantically, "Oh, my God, Dan. I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to fall asleep on you, I swear. I'm just tired, and it was wrong. I really hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. I swear, you should've just pushed my head onto the table or shoved me out of my chair. I'm so-" Phil's rambling was cut short by Dan's hand placed firmly on his shoulder. He squeezed it reassuringly and smiled, telling him it was okay and all was well. Phil let out a sigh as relief came flooding over him.

"Okay, I just didn't want to upset you or anything. I guess I'll see you in biology." Phil said. Dan smiled and nodded, moving his hand to ruffle Phil's hair, further proving his point that he wasn't bothered in the least by having Phil sleep on his shoulder. Phil grimaced at him before chuckling and walking off to class. 

Normally he would have been irritated at having his hair messed up, seeing as it took time out of his precious morning to fix it up so nicely, but he felt like he was getting closer with Dan. And in that case, he'd let the boy mess with his hair everyday.

\--

Phil was in his last class of the day, his worst class of the day. English. Luckily for him, he'd finished that stupid report on calculators, quite impressed with how good all that bullshit came out, and could spend his weekend without a worry. He'd honestly just planned on staying in bed all day Saturday and Sunday in bed texting Dan and watching Netflix. And as lame and uneventful as it sounded, Phil was seriously looking forward to it.

"Alright, listen up. I'm sure that most of you have not finished your essays, but remember, they're due Monday. And I will not be taking late work, you either have it on my desk before school is over on Monday, or it's a zero. The bell is going to ring in a few minutes, so enjoy you're weekend and start packing your things." The teacher droned. Phil let out a sigh of relief, glad to have no homework. He packed his books and waited for the day to be dismissed.

About two minutes later, the bell -or rather a long, monotonous beep- rang through the school. Phil shot up out of his seat. He was determined to make it through the halls without being stopped by anyone today. And he did just that, making it to Dan's locker in key time. Before the boy himself, actually, but only just. Dan was walking towards his locker, surprised look on his face at seeing Phil there early.

"Hiya, Dan!" Phil chirped. He was much more awake now than earlier in the day. Dan smiled and waved. It was silent between the two while the brown-haired boy put most of his books up. Nothing really needed to be said. Both boys could sit in a comfortable silence and have just as good of a time than if they were conversing. That was another thing Phil liked about the boy, just being able to relax.

Conversation soon picked back up, though, once they were on their route back home.

"So, do you have any plans for the weekend?" Phil asked, looking over at the boy. He looked nice today. Not that he didn't on a regular basis, but today he just looked good. He had on his signature black skinny jeans, a short sleeved shirt that advertised Muse, black converse, and well, his hair was placed neatly on his head, excepting his bangs; the dark brown hair was neatly straightened and situated across his forhead. He just looked good.

Dan shrugged and shook his head, telling Phil that he didn't plan on doing much.

"Me neither. I'll probably just lounge around and watch something on Netflix. I don't think Martyn is visiting, he's busy with college. And Louise won't have much time for me either because she's getting ready to start college. It'll just be me and and the TV all weekend. Wow, that sounded less lame in my head..." Phil spoke. Dan giggled at him.

"Hey, don't laugh at my lack of a social life!" Phil pouted. Dan laughed again, almost as if he was testing him, teasing him.

"Oh, you're so gonna get it now, Howell." He warned, reaching out to grab the boy. Dan quickly dodged him, sticking his tongue out. Phil lunged forward in a run, causing Dan to let out the tiniest of squeals. He looked shocked for a minute. And Phil knew it was because that was the most sound Dan has ever really made. Yeah, he giggles, but squealing was a whole different ballgame. Phil pretended not to hear, not wanting to ruin the moment. He continued running after the boy.

They reached Dan's house and Phil was breathing heavily, leaning against the fence that surrounded the home. Dan was barely in a sweat, only being a bit out of breath. Nothing too noticable, though.

"Fuck... How are not dying of... Exhaustion? What... Do you run marathons... In your spare time or something?" Phil asked between pants. Dan giggled at him and shook his head.

"Again, laughing at my misery." Phil pouted after catching his breath. Dan rolled his eyes at him, but still smiled. Then, he did something he doesn't usually do. He opened the gate and pushed it toward the house, leaving room to walk through. He looked at Phil then jerked his head toward his house and raised an eyebrow, asking him to come in.

"Sure." Phil said and walked through the gate. The house was a nice, two story house with a nice lawn and picnic area. It also had a tire swing connected to a tree in the front yard. It was much like his own home -excepting the picnic area and tire swing- seeing as they live in the same neighborhood, Phil's house being just around the corner and down a few houses.

The two boys walked into the home, being greeted with the smell of fresh cookies. It was just as homely on the inside as the out. The walls were painted a light yellow and were decorated with pictures of the family.

"Daniel, is that you, dear?" A woman's voice called through the foyer. Phil assumed it was Dan's mother. Honestly, he was worried about what was behind these doors. Dan didn't talk, and Phil thought that maybe it was because of his parents.

They walked into the kitchen, Dan giving the woman a peck on the cheek and grabbing Phil's arm to present him. Phil smiled and the woman gave him a quick hug.

"Hello, there. I'm Dan's mother. You can call me Anne." She smiled. Her voice was thick with a British accent, soothing and soft. He wondered if Dan's voice was soft like that, or maybe it was more like his father's. This wasn't the first time Phil had thought about Dan's voice, but now that he had something to sort of base if on, he wanted to hear him even more.

"Hi, I'm Phil." He smiled. Dan grabbed about four of the snickerdoodle cookies, stacking them in his hand, hoping to go unnoticed by his mother.

"It's nice to meet you, Phil. I don't get to meet very many of Daniel's friends, you know. Speaking of Dan," Anne said, now turning toward her son. "Don't you get anymore cookies. We'll be having dinner soon and I don't want you to spoil it." Dan pouted, his mouth full of a cookie. Phil grabbed one himself, snickerdoodle being his favorite.

"Now, Phil, dear, are you staying for dinner?" Anne asked, putting the rest of the cookies into a jar. Phil looked at Dan, asking him silently what he was okay with. The boy nodded rapidly, his mop of hair flying all over, with a pleading look in his eyes. Phil chuckled at him.

"If that's okay with you?" He asked politely. He had just finished his cookie, seeing that Phil had his phone out.

"Of course, sweetie. Peter, my husband, will be home soon, then we'll eat. Until then, you boys can go up to Daniel's room, if you'd like?" Anne said. Phil nodded. He saw Dan grimace at the use of his full name. He did that when the teachers called him that, too. He really must not like it.

"Okay, thanks. And those cookies were delicous, by the way." Phil praised. He wished he would've gotten himself another one because they were the best he'd ever tasted. Just then, his phone vibrated from his pocket. He pulled it out, seeing he'd received a text message.

D: Suck up! :P You totally kiss ass, Lester.

Phil laughed and put his phone up, seeing Dan smirking at him, "Hey, I wasn't sucking up! Her cookies are seriously delish." Dan nodded, already having finished two of his. He offered one of the cookies to Phil, as if he'd read his prior thoughts. He gladly accepted the treat, shoving the entire thing in his mouth. Dan giggled at him, actually taking bites out his cookies and chewing like a civilized human being.

"So, how was your boy's day at school?" Anne asked. Dan shrugged and smiled. Phil nodded and began talking.

"Yeah, it was okay. We had a free period in History this morning, which I gladly took advantage of and spent the class sleeping on Dan's shoulder." Phil mused. Anne chuckled at them. She seemed glad to have some insight into her son's day instead of the usual shrug. Dan glanced at Phil then pointed to the stairs. He was asking if Phil would like to go up to his room, and Phil nodded. They got up from their seats at the table and headed up the stairs.

Phil was greeted with light blue walls and band and television show posters. The room was pretty clean for a teenage boy's and was decorated with plush toys of character. Dan had a simple bed in the middle of the room that was adorned with a black and gray duvet, a desk with a laptop placed in the center, a gaming console hooked to a television, and a beautiful wooden piano pushed against the far wall.

"Nice." Phil said. Dan smiled a thanks and went to the television. He picked up a controller and raised an eyebrow, asking Phil if he wanted to play.

"Sure, I'd love to. Let me call my mom first, though. Don't want her worrying." Phil said. He pulled out his cell and called his mom while Dan set everything up.

After the phone call, they played Mario Kart until it was time to eat. Dan had beat Phil three times, and Phil's ego had seriously been knocked down a peg.

"Whatever. You were just lucky." Phil teased, causing the boy to roll his eyes and playfully punch his arm. They ran downstairs, the aroma of lasgna filling their nostrils. Throughout dinner, the four of them chatted. All three made sure to include Dan in the conversation. Phil noted that Peter was just as lovely as Anne, so he didn't even have a clue as to Dan's lack of communication. But, he wouldn't press the matter. It wasn't any of his business and if Dan wanted him to know, then Dan would tell him.

After the meal was over, Phil realized it was getting late and he should probably get back home. He didn't want to, of course. But, he was beginning to feel that he had overstayed his welcome. He really didn't want to be an inconvenience.

"Thank you for the meal and the wonderful cookies and having me over, Mr. and Mrs. Howell. It was great meeting you both. I should probably get going, though." Phil announced after helping the family clean up the kitchen.

"Leaving so soon? You're welcome to stay the night, honey." Anne said. Dan gave him a look as well, telling him to stay.

"I feel like I've overstayed my welcome, as it is. And I wouldn't want my mom worrying." Phil said.

"Oh, sweetie, you haven't overstayed your welcome. You're welcome here anytime. Isn't that right, Peter? And you could just give your mother a ring, I'm sure she won't mind. It's already dark." Anne said. Peter nodded and smiled. It was really odd, having parents actually want him to stay. His other friend's parents usually wanted them out as soon as possible.

"Maybe a bit longer, but I don't have any clothes for tonight. I'll take you up on that offer sometime, though, if Dan doesn't care." Phil said. Dan nodded and pulled him into the living room, putting in a movie and sitting down. 

They were fairly close together, shoulders and legs touching. Phil had this urge to cuddle with the boy and he found it kind of because he had never wanted to cuddle anybody. Ever.

When the ending credits finally rolled on the screen, it was nearing half eight. It was already dark outside, seeing as autumn was just around the corner.

"Thanks, Dan, for inviting me over. I had a really good time. Like, seriously, I can say that I actually did something over the weekend." Phil laughed and Dan giggled. They both yawned, Dan's being small and barely audible. Phil noticed that he looked really cute when he was tired, with his droopy eyelids and how he twirled his hair absentmindedly. Dan walked Phil to the door, smiling brightly and giving him a tight hug. Phil understood that Dan was saying he had a good time, and Phil felt the same.

"Good night, Dan, I'll text you later." Phil said tiredly. He'd be going to bed early tonight, no doubt, as his lack of sleep the previous night was beginning to catch up. Dan nodded and smiled, reaching for Phil's forearm. He held it for a minute, stroking his thumb over the smooth, pale skin in a soothing manner, before he let go, letting Phil out the door. 

As he walked home in the pure dark, excepting the small puddles of light flooding down from streetlamps, he though about the day. How he'd fallen asleep on Dan, how Dan had invited him in, how Dan had begged him to say, how they had sat so close during the movie, how Dan had touched Phil before he left. Dan, Dan, Dan. The two boys were definitely getting closer, more comfortable with one another. And Phil really liked that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me whatcha think down below! I love hearing from you all. It makes my day. :**


	5. Passing Notes and School Projects

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kinda sick and have spent most of the day in bed either watching Supernatural or with my mom, watching American Horror Story. So, here's this.

Phil had spent the rest of the weekend alone for the most part. He did get to visit with Louise and his mother when he got him from Dan's Friday. Though, that was mostly the two women asking his question upon question about Dan. He didn't mind too much, though.

But, it was now Monday, and Phil had mixed emotions about said day. He hated it because, really, who wanted go get up early and go to school or work? Yet, he was looking forward to seeing Dan today. He'd like to think that they had gotten closer over the weekend. 

The walk to school was boring and lonely. He would've walked with Dan, but the boy's mother drops him off on her way to work. He was glad to see him in their first class, though.

"Hello, Daniel, how are you?" Phil teased when he saw the boy sitting at their desk. Dan looked up and crinkled his nose in disgust at the use of his full name. Phil laughed and sat down.

You know how everyone looks tired and hateful on Monday mornings? Their hair wasn't fixed as well as it could have been or their outfit wasn't really matching or fancy? Their whole attitude is disinterested and pissy because it's Monday and everyone no doubt stayed up late over the weekend? Well, this didn't apply to Dan.

The boy had somehow managed to look just as good as usual. He also seemed lively and awake. His hair looked great and his clothes were coordinated and nice-looking. Phil didn't know how because it wasn't like the boy had been well rested. No, that had stayed up texting until the wee hours of the morning.

"So, Dan, did you get that paper done in English? It's due today." Phil asked. Dan nodded a yes and smiled.

"That's good. I did, too. That's one less reason she has to skin me and use my bones to make furniture." Phil mused. Dan giggled at him and shook his head, almost seeming to call the boy crazy. 

The teacher walked in and looked increasingly better than Friday. He smiled at the class, "Hey, guys. I'm sorry to say that I do not have a killer headache and you will all have work to do. Read chapter four, section two then turn to page three hundred and fourty-seven and start on the section assement. I want it done by the end of the hour or it's homework." Phil, Dan, and the rest of the class let out little groans, but started their work nonetheless.

Dan and Phil worked together and got the assignment done in key time. Seeing as they still had about fifteen minutes of class left, Dan pulled out a sheet of paper and started writing something. Then he handed the slip to Phil.

Am I the only one who noticed that Mr. Finnegan's fly is down? -D

Phil let out a little chuckle at him.

Yeah, I guess so. You must be the only one staring at his crotch. -P

Dan shot him a glare.

I wasn't staring! I just happened to look down and notice is all. -D

Phil smirked.

You have a crush on him, don't you? You want him to bend you over a table and have his way with you. I can see it in your eyes, the way you look at him. -P

Phil was just fooling a bit. Dan looked at him after reading it. He had his jaw dropped and he playfully smacked Phil on the back of his head.

Why am I even friends with you? -D

Because you like me (; and I'm really cool.-P

Yeah, I guess. :p -D

The bell rang before Phil could reply, so he crumpled the paper up and tossed it. 

"I'll see you in biology, Dan. Have a good day." Phil smiled. Dan grinned and nodded once at him, telling him to also have a good day.

"Will do. Later!" He chirped, waving before walking off.

\--

Phil walked into biology, sitting down at his assigned seat. Unfortunately, he didn't sit by Dan, but luckily, said boy was only a seat in front of him.

"Okay, class," Mrs. Neal started. She had her blonde hair pulled into a bun and she was wearing a pair of dress pants and a button up shirt. "So, we will be doing a project. It'll be simple, really. Just a poster on the scientific method. Construct a question and use the scientific method to answer it." She passed out a sheet of paper that went over details, needed materials, and the grading scale.

"Okay, and if it isn't easy enough, I'm giving you two weeks to get it done. That's more than enough time. Also, you can pair up with someone. No more than two people per group." She added quickly. Phil's eyes shot to Dan, silently asking to pair up. Dan nodded happily and smiled.

"Alright, find your partner, get to a table, and start working. Don't get too loud." The teacher said, walking over to her desk and began to grade papers. The sound of chairs scraping the tiled floor quickly filled the room. A chatter broke out between friends, most not about this assignment.

"So, partner," Phil smiled cheekily. "I didn't thank you earlier, but I had a lot of fun at your house on Friday. The food was so good and the cookies were delicious. And I still don't know how you beat me at video games. I have only two conclusions. You either cheated, or you're some kind of wizard." Phil laughed. Dan grabbed his pencil and flicked it at Phil, giggling.

"Alright, Albus Dumbledore, calm down." Phil teased. "Oh, and by the way, you were doing it wrong. It's swish and flick." Dan giggled at him, obviously picking up on the Harry Potter references. 

"You know, I think you'd make a good Hufflepuff. Well, not necessarily a good one, no Hufflepuff is ever really good. Though, there was Cedric Diggory, but he died, so..." Phil rambled on. Dan pursed his lips together and shook his head.

"Oh, not a Hufflepuff, eh? Ravenclaw maybe?" Dan shook his head again. "Slytherin then? I mean, I'd say Gryffindor 'cause they're all heroic and all, but really, Slytherin is kick ass, don't you think?" Phil asked. Dan nodded, aggreeing on the choice of Slytherin.

"I feel like the sorting hat." Phil laughed. He notice how they were the only two boys being loud. Everyone else was quite quiet, already having gotten started. He was about to suggest that they too started their assignment, when a voice called him.

"Phil, you and Daniel seem to be the only ones goofing off. Since your conversation is much more important than my assignments, how about you share to the class what it is you're talking about." Mrs. Neal scolded, pointing for him to go to the front of the class. Dan sent him an apologetic look, but Phil just shrugged. It wasn't that big of a deal.

He stalked to the front of the class, feeling everyone's eyes burning a hole in his back. It was like they were staring into his soul, and it made him uneasy and highly embarrassed. When he turned around, his eyes were met with the entire class looking back. Some people were snickering, others looked annoyed with being interrupted from their work. Phil's cheeks heated up, reddening a noticeable amount.

"Go on, tell the class. You've already wasted everyone's time, what's a few more minutes?" She glared. Phil nodded and sighed. She was usually nice, but she seemed kind if bitchy, to be honest. He wanted to fight fire with fire, not giving her the satisfaction of backing down. He smirked.

"Okay, well, I was just telling Dan that I had a great time at his house on Friday. His mum made some fantastic lasagna. And don't even get me started on the cookies. They. Were. Delish. Not even gonna lie, they were like heaven in snickerdoodle form. Anyway, then I thanked him for the movie that we watched. It was a comedy, pretty funny, too. Then we played video games, that was pretty fun. And somehow, we got onto the topic of Harry Potter. I was telling him he'd make a good Hufflepuff, but he didn't seem to be having that, so I suggested Ravenclaw. He didn't like that either, but we soon settled on Slytherin. I also gave him points on how to cast a certain spell, it's swish and flick." Phil rambled on, trying to take up as much of the class's time just to spite the teacher. He glanced to Mrs. Neal who was now shooting daggers with her eyes. He grinned.

"Was that good, teach? I tried to cover everything." Phil smirked. The class was now on his side, snickering at the teacher and how her planned had backfired, seeing as there was only five more minutes of class left. 

"Sit down, Phil." She demanded. Phil nodded and skipped, literally skipped, to his seat. He looked at Dan and they both broke out into fits of giggles.

The bell soon rang. Phil noticed that Mrs. Neal seemed ecstatic to have him gone. He smiled at her and gave her a little wave. He usually wasn't a trouble maker, but she had it coming today.

"See you, Dan! Have a good afternoon." Phil said. Dan nodded and smiled before they walked their separate ways.

Mondays were never really good, but this one was a little better. He made Dan laugh, and getting to hear just a sneak peek of his voice could make any day better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy and please please please leave comments (just like you have been doing) because I'm self-conscious and need reassurance. And also because you guys are so cool and super nice and it's great hearing from you!  
> Love you guys. :*


	6. Food Fights and Friday Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for getting off my Monday-Wednesday-Friday updating schedule, but I stayed with a friend and we spent the entire night watching movies and snuggling c: but here's this chapter and I hope it's not too bad and plenty cute.

Phil was walking Dan home on Friday, a steady conversation between the two. Mostly Phil was rambling and Dan was nodding along and giggling occasionally when Phil would get tongue tied or crack a joke.

"So, Dan, I was thinking..." Phil suddenly stopped, causing his quiet friend to do the same. "Maybe you could come to my house? I mean, you don't have to if you're not feeling up to it. I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything. But, it'll really just be us. My dad is on another business trip, he doesn't seem to ever be home. And my mum has to go to work later tonight. Martyn's at college and Louise is going to a friend's house later. You still don't have to, though. I just thought I would ask because I've been to your house and you're really cool and I'd like for you to come over." Phil was prepared to keep on rambling if it wasn't for a hand being placed on his shoulder. He looked up from the ground, still quite nervous, and let his gaze fall upon Dan.

Phil wasn't the type to be nervous, never once stuttering around PJ or Chris, never tripping over his words when talking to any other person. Dan was just different and Phil acted different around him. No, not because said boy was mute, but because Phil actually cared for the brown-haired boy and wanted nothing except to impress him.

Dan's hand moved from Phil's shoulder to his bicep and slid down swiftly until their hands were now interlocking, sending little sparks of electricity along the way. Dan squeezed Phil's hand and smiled and nodded, his eyes glimmering and smile being nothing short of genuine. The look alone said just the words Phil wanted to hear. Yes, he would love to come over.

"Well, alrighty then. I'll lead the way." Phil smiled, starting to walk again. Dan dropped their hands as soon as he had started speaking, making Phil feel a sprinkle of sadness, but he didn't let it affect him as the feeling was quickly fading.

He did, however, feel a bit self conscious about Dan seeing his home. He'd never even seen the outside because Phil's house was further down from said boy's. His house wasn't dirty or unstable or anything, so he didn't know why he was freaking. It was just a bit smaller and lacking all of the expensive furniture that Dan's home was adorned with. But, it was still pretty nice, just not as fancy.

"Hey, wait, shouldn't you tell your mum? So she doesn't worry?" Phil asked once they had passed Dan's house. Dan snapped and pointed at him with a smile and nod. He was saying that Phil was right, he should contact his mum.

Phil watched as Dan pulled out his cellular and tapped out a message, sending it to his mother. She was quick to reply as Dan's phone immediately let out a ding. He replied back and shoved it in his pocket before looking back up to Phil who had been staring. Both boys blushed, Phil because he had gotten caught, and Dan because he had been stared at. 

"Alright, now back to the magical journey that is leading to the most wonderful destination. To Narnia!" Phil joked, getting a giggle out of the other teen. He loved Dan's laugh. It was beautiful, and he positive that his voice would be even prettier.

They soon arrived at Phil's house, which was just a little ways down. Phil, still a bit nervous, opened the gate and walked the little strip of pavement to the porch, Dan in tow. He opened the door, letting Dan step in first before walking in himself.

"Honey! I'm home!" Phil shouted through the house to whoever was listening. Dan giggled at him and playfully punched his shoulder, most likely thinking he's an idiot.

"Phil, shut the fuck up!" He heard his sister yell from upstairs. Phil rolled his eyes and turned to Dan, "That's Louise. Lovely isn't she?" He whispered. Dan let out the tiniest of a giggle and smiled.

"Louise, watch your language!" Phil heard his mother shout. He turned to Dan again, "And that's my mum."

"Hey, Mum, I brought a friend over." Phil said, much quieter than before, seeing as his mother was in the kitchen.

"PJ or Chris?" She asked. They walked through the foyer to the kitchen.

"Dan." He said. Phil had made sure that his mother knew about the silent boy who lacks conversation. He'd die if Dan got embarrassed or uncomfortable at his house. He wanted Dan to enjoy himself and have a place to be himself other than his own home.

"Oh, it's nice to meet you, sweetie." Phil's mother, Elizabeth, said once they made it to the kitchen. She pulled her son's friend into a short, warm hug. 

"Phil, you already know I have to go to work tomorrow. And Louise is off to her friend's for the night. She'll be back tomorrow, and because it's her birthday tomorrow, I need you to have a cake baked before she gets home." Elizabeth said. Phil groaned and huffed.

"Mum, please, you know I can't cook. Why can't you pick one up from the store before you get home in the morning?" Phil asked. Dan giggled at him quietly, obviously trying not to interrupt their conversation.

"Philip Michael Lester, it's your sister's birthday, the last one she'll be spending with up before she's off to college. You know how much Louise loves homemade chocolate cake. Show some love for your sister." Elizabeth huffed.

"Well, I'm not going to be showing very much love when she takes a bite of her cake and it tatses like dirt." Phil whined. He didn't like being such a baby in front of Dan, but he didn't know a damned thing about baking.

"I left you step by step directions. Even you couldn't mess up this cake. It'll be fine, don't worry." Elizabeth smiled. "Now, I gotta go. You boys have fun. Dan, it was nice meeting you." Dan smiled and nodded at her. Phil gave his mother a nod, letting her know Dan meant that he felt the same. She smiled and left after shouting a farewell to Louise.

"Alright, so, Dan, do you know how to bake a cake?" Phil asked, turning to his friend. Dan raised his hand and shook it side to side while shrugging, signaling that he was an okay cook, but not the best.

"Well, that's still better than me. Do you mind helping?" Phil asked. Dan shook his head and smiled. Phil took that as he didn't mind.

"You wanna go upstairs and play video games or something?" He asked, looking to the other teen. Dan nodded and gave a half smile. They walked up the case of stairs, Dan looking around and taking in his surroundings, Phil making sure everything was clean enough and not too embarrassing.

Once they reached the top and made it to a white door, Phil turned, "Okay, this is the best room of the house. Be prepared for total awesomeness. I'm being dead serious, stop laughing. This single room is cooler than all of Narnia, holds more mysteries than the Chamber of Secrets, and may or may not contain the Lost City of Atlantis." Dan giggled and rolled his eyes. Phil opened the door dramatically and ushered the boy in. As soon as the door was sealed again, both boys were enveloped into a world or band/television show posters and little trinkets.

Dan's mouth was agape at the fact that there wasn't a strip of blank wall. Phil chuckled, "I told you it was magical, didn't I?" The mute boy nodded rapidly, his mop of dark hair flopping all over the place and falling into his eyes. 

Just then, a blonde-haired girl with soft features burst through the door, "Who in the hell are you talking to? You haven't shut up since you- oh, who's this?" Phil rolled his eyes at his sister. He loved her, but she could definitely be annoying.

"Louise, this is Dan. Dan, Louise." Phil introduced. 

"Oh, so this is the infamous Dan you're forever talking about?" Louise quizzed. Dan blushed and looked down. "Aw, would you look at him? He's such a cutie." And the silent teen's got even brighter at that. Phil was considering putting him on top of their Christmas tree this year instead of their normal star. He was definitely bright enough.

"It's nice to meet you, Dan. I'm Phil's sister, you probably know. I'm the more attractive of the Lester siblings." She mused. Both boys rolled their eyes, Phil's being more obvious that Dan's.

\--

After Louise had left, and they had worked on their project for a little while, they decided to go bake her cake to have it out of the way.

"Okay, so we have the chocolate cake mix, now we need the eggs and..." Phil trailed off, naming various other ingredients. 

By the time they had all the ingredients lied out, Phil was already tired of cooking. The only thing that made this better was having Dan suffer through it with him.

Phil started cracking eggs and mixing in the cake mix with other ingredients. His mother was right, even he could follow her written instructions. No matter the easiness of the task, it was still boring. Phil decided to have a bit of fun. 

He reached into a bag of flour and scooped up a handful, "Hey, Dan, can you come here for a second?" Dan complied and walked over from retrieving the pan. "Oh, would you look at that. You have something on your nose." Dan raised an eyebrow and reached up to find what was on his nose. Phil laughed and flicked a dash of the white substance onto his face.

Dan looked at him in shock, eyes wide, and Phil was about to apologize when he noticed the smile tugging at Dan's lip. The boy grabbed the can of whipped cream and sprayed it across Phil's cheeks. 

"Not your best move, Howell." Phil tutted, reaching a finger up to wipe the cream from his face before placing it on his tongue. After tasting the sweet treat, he grabbed some sugar and dumped a cup on Dan's chest and neck.

"Needed to sweeten you up a bit." He teased. Dan rolled his eyes and grabbed the chocolate frosting. He dipped his hand into the creamy, sweet brown and smeared it all over Phil. From his forehead down to his collar bone and onto his shirt, giggling the entire time.

"You little shit." Phil gasped. He reached for an egg from the carton and and cracked it on top of Dan's hair, laughing as the the liquid slid down said boy's fringe and passed his eyes, nearing missing them. Dan let out a shriek as the cold thickness trailed it's way down him, his mouth ajar and eyes filled with disgust.

"Close your mouth, dear, you'll catch flies. Or a bit of that yolk." Phil teased, tapping Dan's chin. Dan scooped up the goo and yolk, then slung it at Dan.

"Chicken fetus! Burn it! Burn it with fire!" Phil squealed, making both boys erupt in laughter. Finally, after the laughter had died down, they finished the cake and put it in the oven.

"Alright, Danny boy, let's go get cleaned up." Phil joked, smirking when Phil glared at his choice of nicknames. Phil just shrugged and slung his arm around the mute boy and led him to the bathroom. 

Dan was seemingly more comfortable with him than he had expected, and that made Phil beyond happy. So much so that he was being closer to the boy, always standing near and just now, having an arm around the other teen.

They soon reached the bathroom where they wiped themselves off of the sugar and egg parts. Phil noticed that the egg had dried in Dan's hair and quickly spoke up, "You wanna take a shower while I clean the kitchen?"

Dan nodded gratefully and Phil just chuckled at him. In truth, he didn't want to clean the kitchen all by himself, but he really didn't want Dan to have to do it, so he decided to take one for the team. Luckily, they hadn't made too much of a mess with their small food fight, seeing as most of the food landed on themselves.

"Kay, well, you go ahead and get in. You can get dressed in my room, I'll get you some clothes." Phil said, smiling happily at the other boy's dorky grin.

While the other teen was showering, Phil thoroughly cleaned the kitchen and checked on the cake. Once it was done, he pulled it out of the oven and let it cool. He'd let Dan decorate it with him. 

Phil grabbed the ornaments for the cake: another jar of chocolate icing, whipped cream, blue-dyed vanilla icing, sprinkles, and candies. He had set the last item when Dan walked through the threshold to the kitchen. He was wearing Phil's sweatpants, which where a bit too long considering Phil is taller, and an Adventure Time hoodie. His hair was curly and damp because he hasn't straightened it, and Phil would admit to the entire world that he looked adorable.

"Hey there, cutie. Wanna help me decorate the cake?" Phil asked. Dan smiled and nodded, a slight blush crawling up his neck and taking residence on his cheeks.

They put the frosting on the cake and then started putting sprinkles all over it. Dan had the job of writing 'Happy Birthday, Louise' in the generic cursive that's on most store-bought cakes, though not as neat, in the blue icing.

"She's gonna love it, and even if she doesn't, it's still a damn good cake." Phil said triumphantly once they had it decorated to perfection. Dan giggled a bit and shook his head. Phil noticed that the boy was very giggly, and he also noticed that he didn't mind one bit, he actually preferred it.

"Do you like chocolate? Because I can bring you over a piece tomorrow." Phil said nonchalantly, putting a lid over the cake display case to keep stray flies or ants away, of they had any crawling around the place. Honestly, Phil just wanted and excuse to see the boy.

He looked over at Dan who was giving him a 'you-don't-have-to' look, or at least Phil thought that's what it was. He sometimes had trouble with Dan's body language, but he tried his best to understand. There had been times when he just could not read Dan and, even though he felt like absolute shit, had the boy write it down and then apologized profoundly. Of course Dan hadn't minded because, as he had written, Phil had at least tried to understand.

"It's fine really. You helped, so you should get to enjoy. She wouldn't even mind of you came over, it'll just be Mum, Martyn, Louise, and I. Maybe one of her friends." Phil said. Dan pulled out his phone and started typing, probably having something to say that he couldn't motion. Phil's phone vibrated.

Can't. Sorry. Mum and I are having a day out. We have a "Mother and Son" day once a month. But, I'd definitely like a slice of your cake. (;

Phil chuckled a bit, taking the last part sexually, "Well, Daniel, I can give you some of my 'special' cake, if you're a good boy." He added a wink at the end and they both erupted into little fits of laughter, Phil's being louder than Dan's.

Eventually, their night drew to an end when Dan got a text from his mother. He showed the text to Phil and gave him a rueful look and stood up from the couch. They had been watching anime on Netflix.

"Alright, well, I'll see you tomorrow for that slice of cake." Phil said, returning Dan's smile. He pulled the wordless boy into a hug, and not one of those uncomfortable bro hugs either. No, a full on hug. An arms wrapped around each other, chest to chest hug.

The articulate boy walked his friend to the door, smiling while saying, "Make sure to text me when you get home, so I know you made it there safe." And just saying that simple sentence put the biggest grin on Dan's face. Phil noticed and reached up to ruffle the other teen's natural hobbit hair, calling him 'silly' in the process. It was as if not many people cared for him. Phil figured that if that was the case, then it was their loss because everyone needed their own Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't get as many comments last time and I'm pretty sure that's because it was just a filler but shout out to you three that commented, y'all are sweet as heck.   
> Comment and all that jazz. :**  
> Love you guyyys.


	7. Skype Calls and Unfriendly Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff is going down (down, in an earlier round). Anywho, enjoy and have a lovely rest of the day/night/life and whatnot.

It was around six in the morning when Phil was so rudely awaken by the monotonous beeping of his alarm clock. Desperate to shut the damned thing up, he flung his hand down on the mechanical nuisance, letting out a moan of content when the blaring stopped. Phil got up out of bed, much to his dismay, and started getting ready. He was hoping to have time to watch some cartoons before he left for Hell, or school, whichever you prefer to call it.

He was midway through straightening his hair when a text rattled through his cell phone, gracing the room with a little ding and vibration. He finished up the strand of raven black hair, then grabbed his phone, unlocked it, and tapped on the message in one swift motion. It was Dan.

Hey, can you Skype me? I know it's early and we have school, but please? xx

Phil grabbed his laptop from his desk, raised the lid, and called Dan. He didn't know why the boy wanted to video chat this early, but he didn't really mind. The call was soon answered and Phil was greeted with an anxious-looking Dan.

"Hello, Dan. Fancy seeing you here." Phil said in a blatantly fake British accent, one much more posh than his own. He was aware of Dan's nervousness, but decided not to question it. It's not like the boy could tell or write him due to them being on screen, and, besides, Phil would rather not add to his friend's anxiety, he'd prefer to help him forget about it.

Dan let out a small giggle and waved, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. Phil could see the boy biting his lip, gnawing at it, really, and decided that making jokes might put the nerves at bay.

"You know, you're really lucky that I like you. I mean, if we weren't such good friends, I wouldn't have dared to let you see me so early. I'm not even make up ready, yet." Phil mused. Dan rolled his eyes, but his smile got brighter and bigger, and therefore, had stopped eating away at his bottom lip.

"There it is, there's that signature Howell smile I like to see." Phil grinned as he saw the mute teen's cheeks darken with color, saw his ears tint because of the heat. Also, as the embarrasing warmth washed over Dan's features and left a bright pink residue, Phil could tell that said boy had calmed down immensely.

"So, I was thinking that, maybe, you could come over after school and we could finish that biology project?" Phil asked, now projecting his voice as he had gotten up to finish his hair. He glanced to Dan after finishing a strand, seeing the boy nod and smile, then went back to talking and straightening. 

"That's good. We're literally going to nail this project in the ass." Phil continued talking to his silent friend for quite sometime, definitely longer than he should have, because when he checked the time on his phone, he nearly had a heart attack at the numbers displayed across the screen.

"Fucking shit, I've gotta go. I'm gonna be so late. I'm going to have to run to school." Phil spoke hurriedly, slinging his bag over his should and shoving his phone into his pocket. He looked at the screen to bid Dan a farewell when he noticed that the boy had a finger in the air, signalling for Phil to wait a minute. He nodded at boy and saw him get out his own phone and begin tapping away. Phil was beginning to get frustrated at how late he was going to be when a vibration shook against his thigh. He quickly grabbed the cellular block from his pocket and read the message.

Calm down, Phil. I'll ask my mom to pick you up. Wait outside. (:

"Oh, my God, thanks so much. I'll forever be in tour debt, my dearest Daniel. I thought I was going to have to face my worst fear; running." Phil praised. Dan rolled his eyes and laughed quietly, before they both signed off and Phil made his way to the patch of sidewalk infront of his gate.

After about five minutes, a simple black Honda pulled up and the front window rolled down. Dan, who was sitting shotgun, signalled for Phil to get in, which he did so without any hesitation. There was no way in Hell he was going to give up a chance to ride to school, especially with Dan, and especially when the alternative was running.

Once he got in, he turned his head to Dan's mother and began to praise her, "I cannot thank you enough, Mrs. Howell. I'm sorry to be an inconveince." 

"Oh, don't worry, dear. I'm happy to help out one of Dan's special friends. Besides, it seems to be my son's fault you were late, anyway." Anne spoke teasingly to her son. And Phil thought it was adorable how Dan's face turned crimson at the mention of Phil being "special" and how he pouted when his mother placed the blame on him. It reminded him of how he and his own mother act, though not as much lately, as she always seemed to be working.

"Well, even if it was Dan's fault, which it totally was, thanks for picking me up." Phil mused in a playful manner, teasing the boy some more. In the front seat, he heard Dan huff and cross in arms.

"Oh, cheer up, Daniel. We're only teasing." Anne patronized in her natural soft voice, making Phil jealous for a split second because he wished his own voice sounded as sweet when it rolled off his tongue instead of his own deep, rough voice. 

"Yeah, Daniel, we're only playing." Phil mocked, smirking as Dan turned and stuck his tongue out at him and feigned scratching his cheek so that he could descretly flip him off. 

\--

They had made it to school in key time, Phil letting out another string of praises to Anne before getting out and strolling into school with Dan. They quickly got through their morning classes, estatic that it was now lunch time. 

Dan had texted him and told him that he would be going to locker before lunch, that he would catch up later. So, that led Phil to be sitting buy his friends, waiting for Dan to come in.

"Hey, Phil. Can we talk for a minute?" Chris asked, clearing his  throat to get the teen's attention, who was, at the moment, staring at the entrance door. Phil turned around, slightly annoyed, but glad to have a way to pass time.

"Yeah, sure. Let's talk." Phil said through his teeth, letting a fake smile grace his lips. He nodded at them and waited.

"So, we noticed that you came to school with Howell, that right?" PJ asked. Phil internally groaned, praying to every God that he knew of that this conversation wouldn't be like last time. 

"Yeah, I was running late, so he came to pick me up." Phil explained, casually spying around the cafeteria in search for a certain brown-haired boy, but with no such luck.

"So, you just texted him and asked him?  You could've called one of us, you know?" Chris added, seemingly jealous, well that's what Phil detected, anyway.

"Yeah, I know. But we were Skyping and he offered, so I accepted. I didn't even think about asking one of you." Phil said, already growing tired of all the questions, though there hadn't even been that many. All he really wanted was to hang out with Dan, who should be here any minute to save him, but had obviously been held up by something.

"You guys Skyped?" PJ questioned in a shocked tone. Phil nodded and rolled his eyes, but gestured for PJ to continue. "So, he talked to you, then?" Here we go, Phil thought. They weren't going to get over the fact that his friend was mute.

"Well, not necessarily. We acted as we normally do. I don't get what the problem is." Phil sighed, feeling anger an annoyance start to bubble in the pit of his stomach.

"So, you've never heard him speak? Why would Skype that freak when you know he won't even talk to you?" Chris asked rudely, venom towards the mute boy rolling off his tongue. Phil clenched his teeth, willing his now boiling blood to simmer.

"Okay, a few things. Firstly, he's not a freak, he's pretty fucking awesome. Secondly, it'd by nice if you stopped insulting my friend. And lastly, why the fuck do you guys even care?" Phil spoke a bit louder, but not loud enough to draw attention from the other students having lunch around them. He was practically seething at his friends, not knowing when they turned into such dicks. 

"Listen Phil, we're just worried for you. We think that you should distance yourself from Howell. He's not good for you." PJ said, docility apparent in his voice, but docile was the exact opposite of what this conversation was.

"What the fuck do you fucking mean by distancing myself? You're fucking full of it. And he's not good for me, my ass. He's my fucking friend, not some fucking drug." Phil growled, now getting some attention from the surrounding tables. He was so angry with his friends, and he was pretty sure that he'd never dropped the F-bomb that many times in one conversation.

"Phil, calm down. All we're trying to say is that, maybe it's not healthy to be friends with Howell. I mean, it's got to be lonely talking to a wall all the time. You need a friend who will talk back." Chris added, trying to defuse the argument, but Phil wasn't having it. He got louder, having practically everyone's eyes on him in the now deadly silent cafeteria.

"I'm not going to fucking calm down. Maybe you two having your heads so far up your own asses is unhealthy. And if you're suggesting that I need you two as my friends, then you must be fucking taking something. I don't need you two judgemental pricks. Call me when you two get your dicks out of your personality." Phil growled, standing abruptly, and shooting glares at his two ex-best friends. If looks could kill, well, PJ and Chris would be pushing up daisies.

"We're just trying to look out for you." PJ tried again.

"If you were really 'looking out for me', then you'd realize how much Dan makes me happy. Unlike you two, he's not judgemental. You know, I really don't know how we were ever friends." Phil spoke angrily, turning to leave before he did something stupid, like punch the everliving shit out of them, when he stopped dead in his tracks. Directly in front of him was the same boy that the fight had been over, also the boy that Phil wanted to see most, but now he wasn't so sure. 

All eyes were on the two boys who were now staring at one another. In the silent room, that was as silent as Dan himself, Phil could feel the kick drum beating wildly behind his ribs, could hear his blood rushing to his ears, could taste how dry his tongue had become.

Phil cocked his head to the side, ever so slightly, so that only Dan could see, and shot him a look, asking if everything was okay. Dan, whose face showed no emotion, slowly began to smile before nodding a few times. While still having everyone's eyes on them, the two teens decreased the space between them, engulfing the other into a warm hug.

When they pulled away, after only about three seconds, Phil slung his arm over the mute boy's small shoulder and grinned wildly, "So, I was thinking we could skip lunch and go out for tacos?" Dan nodded and smiled ear to ear as they began walking out the door.

Phil turned to Dan once they were outside of the school, "Are you okay? I'm really sorry about them. I didn't know they could be so, well, whatever that was." Dan gave him a look and Phil understood it completely. Dan felt bad for Phil breaking things off with his friends.

"Hey, look at me," Phil said, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. He turned to face Dan, grabbing the boys chin with his hand and locking their eyes. "Listen, that back there, that wasn't your fault. Chris and PJ are just jealous that I like you better than them. It's not your fault that we're no longer friends, if that's what you're thinking.  I would've stuck up for anyone if those guys were being dicks. I'm just sorry that they took it ou on you. It's their loss, though, because you're an amazing person and friend. And length doesn't always make a friendship, being a good friend makes a friendship." Phil finished his little speech by tilting his head down and pecking the top of brown-haired boy's head just for good measure.

Dan's already wide smile widened. He quickly pulled out his phone and typed a message.

Thank you so much. No one ever really sticks up for me. Xx

Phil quickly read the message and when he looked up to smile at Dan, he felt a pair of soft, warm lips on his cheeks, slightly grazing the corner of his mouth. 

Both teens shared a small smile,"So, about those tacos?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, that happened. wowser am I right? Comment your thoughts and all that jazz because I LOVE LOVE LOVE hearing from you guys. You really are the coolest bunch. Super sweet, you all are. :* kisses and :) smiles.  
> And for any you that might be in Paris or near the area or just anywhere, please stay safe.
> 
> Love you!


	8. Meeting Friends and Horror Movies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowser an actual chapter and not an author's note. Somebody give me a medal.

Dan had texted Phil around ten in the morning, just when Phil had woken, and asked him if he'd like to come over and meet some of his friends. Of course, Phil, wanting as much time with the silent boy as possible, agreed and said he'd be over around noon. That gave him a whole two hours to shower, get ready, and worry about Dan's friends.

If Phil was being honest, he didn't know Dan had any other friends. The boy hadn't mentioned them, and Phil had just assumed that he didn't. He didn't assume that because he thought Dan was incapable of making friends, that wasn't the case. Dan just seemed so shy around most people and he was rather an introvert, he kept to himself. But Phil figured that maybe they were friends before Dan stopped talking, that maybe he wasn't so closed off then.

Phil pulled on some black skinny jeans with a random hoodie, he fixed his hair, and left after telling his mother where he'd be. The brief walk to Dan's was spent trying to calm his rising nerves. In truth, he didn't know why he was getting so worked up about meeting new people, it wasn't like him to be overwhelmingly nervous. Phil just figured that he wanted to make a good impression on whoever meant so much to Dan, that he wanted their blessing, so to speak.

All too soon, the teen found himself on his friend's front porch, hand balled into a fist and hovering over the wooden door. Phil sucked in a breath and lightly rapped against the thickish wood. 

Anne, Dan's mother, opened the door with a bright smile and a warm hug, then told him the others were upstairs. Phil thanked her and made his way to the mute boy's room. It was wide open, much to Phil's dismay because he had no time to prepare himself for Dan's friends. He just coughed awkwardly while leaning in the doorway, watching as all eyes landed on him.

Dan shot up from his place on a beanbag and threw his arms around Phil before pulling him to the room to meet his friends. Despite Phil's nervousness, he grinned wildly at how excited the quiet boy was to see him.

Two girls around his age were sat on two beanbags beside Dan's. One of the girls looked very intimidating, especially with how she was staring Phil over. The other girl looked very similar to the former, though much sweeter, as she wore a smile on her face. And both of them had been watching his every move, seeing how Dan acted toward him and vice versa. 

"You must be Phil. I'm Hannah." The sweeter of the two spoke. She had raven black hair and ocean blue eyes to match, much like Phil's, except more feminine. Her hair layed in straight strands down past her shoulders and kept going. Her bangs were placed straight across her pale forehead neatly and she wore a small amount of makeup on her soft, baby face. She seemed friendly, so Phil smiled back and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in. The other, intimidating girl, joined Hannah in standing up.

"I'm Hilly. It's good to finally meet you." She said nicely, but she still looked unsure about Phil. Hilly had gingerish-brown hair that cascaded in waves down her back, with shorter pieces in the front to frame her soft face. She was a bit more tan than the other girl, with a more chiseled face structure, making her seem older. They looked oddly similar to one another, with their small frame and facial features. Phil figured that they might be related.

The teen figured that Hilly was just protective over the mute boy, and Phil could understand that, he was too.

"It's great to meet you guys." Phil said. From beside him, he felt Dan squeeze his hand and grin. Phil turned and smiled back, genuinely happy that his brown-eyed friend was sharing a part of his life with him.

\--

It was starting to get dark outside, but only just and Phil had gotten to know Hilly and Hannah over the last few hours. They had played video games and just talked, well the three of them did, anyway. But, Dan wasn't left out, oh no. Phil had gotten to know the two girls greatly, learning things like their favorite colors, animals, books, movies, shows, and just random things. He also learned that Hannah and Hilly were, as he thought, related. They were sisters.

"You know what we should do?" Hannah suddenly asked from her spot on the sofa in the lounge. She wore a devious smirk with a mischievous glint in her eyes that looked all too foreign in such a sweet face.

"What?" Hilly and Phil said in unison. Dan shrugged and cocked his head to the side, asking what they should do. Hannah looked between the three boys and her smirk grew.

"Horror movies." She mused. Hilly shrugged and mumbled a 'sure.' Phil nodded and looked beside him to Dan, who had wide eyes and was shaking his head. 

"Oh, come on, Danny, I know you don't like them, but we won't watch too scary, yeah?" Hannah asked. Dan was biting his lip nervously, and Phil figured that he was feeling pressured. He didn't want to watch it, but he didn't want to disappoint his friends. 

Phil leaned over and whispered in his ear, "You can hold onto me if you need. Horror movies creep me out, too." He pulled away to survey Dan's answer, smiling as he watched the boy grin brightly, nod, and blush. He nodded and winked in return, sealing the deal.

The teen looked up from the mute boy to see both Hannah and Hilly staring at them with wide smiles on their faces.

"Well, you guys pick the movie while I hit the bathroom." Hilly announced, getting up and shuffling to the washroom down the hall.

"Y'know, Phil," Hannah started, motioning for him to come help pick a movie from the shelf. Phil got up and walked over there, seeing Dan stroll  into the kitchen to get snacks. "Hilly isn't as intimidating as she seems. I know she looks scary, but she's a real softie once you get to know her." Phil nodded at this, feeling the last of his worries escape down the drain. 

"Well, that's a relief. I was pretty sure she was going to bite my head off of my shoulders there for a minute." Phil's laughed. Hannah smiled reassuringly and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Not to worry, Hilly respects anyone who treats Dan well. Dan really likes you. Like, a lot. He cares for you, too. And it's obvious that you care for him. Hilly is just really protective over him, I am too for that matter, and she can't stand anyone who mistreats him, especially since he's gone through so much." Hannah explained and Phil smiled at how wonderful Dan's friends were. They cared so much for the silent boy and so did Phil. He was glad that Dan had these two great girls watching over him.

"Yeah, I understand that. I hate when people are rude to him, I can't help but stick up for him." Phil agreed. 

"Mhm. Dan told me about how you basically flipped shit over your friends being dicks." Hannah said, finally grabbing a disc and popping it into the disc player.

"They were being really stupid. I don't even know why, they aren't normally like that. But, it's whatever. They're not going to bother him." Phil said as he settled himself back on the sofa. Hannah nodded and was getting ready to reply when both Dan and Hilly walked back in. 

"So, what lovely movie are watching?" Hilly asked, plopping him self down on the sofa opposite Phil and beside Hannah. Dan sat two bowls of the freshly popped popcorn along with four sodas and a few bags of twizzlers down on the coffee table before taking his place beside Phil.

"The Exorcist because I know that Dan hates it." Hannah grinned, shooting Dan an all too innocent smile, to which she received the middle finger. Phil laughed and draped his arm over the back of the couch, loosely hanging around the mute boy's shoulders. Dan leaned into the touch, nestling his head between Phil's shoulder and neck and scooting his body to be pressed almost flush against the teens, then he looked up, his lips only a few centimeters apart as Phil was looking down, to see if it was okay. And like Phil was going to say no to basically cuddling this sweet boy.

Phil tightened his grip around the boy, looked down, and rolled his eyes, "Well, come on. Get closer and snuggle up." And Phil could feel his heart flop in his chest at the quiet boy's reaction. Dan  had smiled so big, from ear to ear, and his eyes held this sparkle of pure happiness as he pressed himself flush against Phil's side, pulling the arm around him like a blanket. He brought his legs out beside him and leaned his side and back into Phil, leaving his head in the same position between the talkative teen's shoulder and neck. He looked up again to make sure that it was okay.

"Relax, Dan. Now, let's watch the film." Phil chuckled. He tried playing it off like cuddling with Dan was no big deal, but in reality, it kind of was for Phil. See, the teen had never really cuddled with anyone, never had a serious girlfriend, or boyfriend for that matter, where cuddling was part of the relationship. And it wasn't like PJ or Chris had that kind of friendship where cuddling would be acceptable. But what really made this a big deal, was the fact that he was cuddling with Dan. Dan, the shy, closed off, mute boy that Phil was scared to death of offending, felt comfortable enough to snuggle with him. And yeah, Phil thought it was nice to have a friend like him, not to mention that cuddling was fucking awesome.

\--

They were about three quarters of the way done with the movie and it was now dark outside, as well as dark inside with the lights turned off. The snacks were practically gone, as was Dan's dignity. He had his knees pulled up to his chest, death grip on Phil's arm, which he had pulled around him.

Hannah and Hilly would occasionally glance over and chuckle at the boy. Phil, on the other hand, didn't find it all that funny, he was trying his best to calm the frightened boy, whispering assurances in his hair and rubbing his knee.

Finally, the movie was over and as soon as the end credits started rolling up in screen, Dan leaped up, flicked the lights on, and practically yanked the disc from the player. 

Hannah laughed, "So, I take it you still don't enjoy the movie?" The boy said nothing, but if looks could kill, both Hilly and Hannah would be pushing up daisies.

"Shit, I gotta go. Mom's gonna kill us for being late." Hilly muttered after she checked the time on his phone. It was nearing ten o'clock already. "You ready to go, Hannah?" Hannah nodded and they both said their good-byes to Dan and Phil, encasing both boys in warm hugs.

After they had left, Phil looked to the mess of soda cans and popcorn bowls then to Dan, "I should probably get going, but I'll help you clean up first, yeah?" Dan started picking up trash, then looked up and shook his head. Phil didn't quite understand why the boy was disagreeing.

"I'm sorry, what?" The blue-eyed boy asked. Dan tried again, nodding his head toward the staircase, causing Phil even more confusion.

"Okay, I feel really stupid, and kind of rude, but I'm really not following..." He trailed off, feeling heat crawl up his chest and settle on his cheeks and ears. Phil really hated not being able to read Dan sometimes. He'd get really embarrassed and think that he had upset Dan.

While Phil was internally fretting over not being able to understand Dan, said boy had taken the notion to type out what he wanted to say. He had only noticed when he felt a vibration on his thigh.

You can stay over if you'd like. It's already dark and I don't want you walking home by yourself. 

"Oh, sorry for not understanding." Phil said. Dan dismissed it with a wave of his hand and a smile. "But, yeah! That sounds like a great idea. Let me just check things over with my mum, then the fun can begin... Not that kind of fun, either, you pervert." Phil laughed, seeing that his comment made the mute boy blush. 

Phil called and checked with his mother, who said that it was okay, then helped clean the lounge. He grinned the whole time, estatic to be staying the night.

"Before we do anything, I would like to say something. I'm extremely honored to have been invited to stay the night, Daniel. I feel over the moon to get to see your natural hobbit hair." Phil teased, reaching over and ruffled his hair. Dan grimaced and stuck his tongue out, but he too was excited to have Phil over.

The two boys spent the rest of the night having a random dance party, watching cartoons, and daring each other to do really weird and disgusting things (Dan drank pickle juice). All in all, it was a really good night for both of them. Even if Dan was scared to walk to the bathroom by himself because he was determined that demons would possess his body if he were alone. Phil didn't mind, though. And he especially didn't mind having to sleep with the frightened boy because cuddling totally kept monsters away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like this chapter. I think that it's alright. Also, Hannah and Hilly Hindi are the cutest things. If you don't know of them, you can look them up on YouTube (Hollywood Show). They make like, high-quality parodies of stuff including, Supernatural, Doctor Who, The Walking Dead, and even Dan and Phil's 7 Second Challenge. Plus, so much more. They're great and their videos are the best.
> 
>  
> 
> Also comment bc please and I love you all. :**


	9. Hushed Voices and Basically Dating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow the title is suckish and also this whole chapter is short and choppy and overall junk bc I wasn't in the mood to write and didn't really know how to effectively write it bc really I wasn't motivated but I'm working on the next chapter rn and it's seemingly better and should be up on Wednesday. Sorry for the trash but hey it's something.

Going back to school on Monday brought new events for both Dan and Phil. Neither boy had ever been treated so oddly as they were being treated now.

Glances and gazes roamed over their body when in sight of any bystander. It made both feel self-conscious, Dan especially so as people still looked at him weird on his own because he didn't speak.

Phil figured it was because of the argument that took place with Chris and PJ on Friday. Nevertheless, the attention wasn't wanted for either boy, especially with the way everyone grew silent when either would walk into a room or down the hall.

The whispering voices ushered quickly and quietly between their peers spoke only rumors and never the truth.

"Maybe they're dating."

"They're probably fucking."

"Bet Howell sucks his cock."

"I heard Chris caught them behind the bike shed and that's why they were fighting."

"Lester's such a man whore."

"Howell's a slut."

"They're gay fags."

And the worst one yet that Phil had heard : "That Dan kid probably can't talk 'cause he's too busy sucking cock."

All of these things said in hushed voices and never directly to the boys, and that was what was annoying. None of those things were true and people just automatically lie, and for what? Cruelness? Something to say? Stupidity? Probably all of the above, of you ask Phil, who was growing more aggravated as the week went on.

"Can you believe what people are saying?" Phil huffed as he slung his bag down and sat down roughly beside Dan. The mute boy shrugged his shoulders, lacking care.

"I mean, they're saying awful things. Things that aren't even true and don't even add up." Phil sighed, turning to face the boy now, who was scribbling on a sheet of white paper.

People talk.

Was all that was wrote. Simple and true and swirled in black ink.

"I don't know, Dan. People just kind of suck sometimes, you know?" He said, letting out hot air, relaxing against the chair. He felt better now that he was with Dan. The boy's round cheeks and brown eyes restored his faith in humanity.

Dan nodded and gave an understanding smile. 

"But, seriously, as if we're dating." Phil laughed and shook his head. People were desperate for a good story.

Dan let out a nervous hum in agreement, as if what they were proposing was just preposterous.

"Anyway," Phil said, dismissing the previous conversation. "I think we should do something this weekend. I need a break for school. What do you think?" 

Dan grinned and nodded, growing giddy with the idea of doing something with Phil, even if just staying in.

"You're not busy, are you?" Phil asked, whispering now as Mr. Finnegan approached the board to begin the lesson. He saw Dan shake his head no.

"Good. I'm thinking maybe roller skating at the rink in town or something? Just go out for a day?" Phil said, leaning in Dan's ear and whispering as the teacher had begun speaking about The Black Plague.

Dan nodded and gave a thumbs up, trying to be cool when all he wanted to do was reach over and hug his best friend. 

"Dan, Phil, do I need to separate you? Or do you think you can manage to listen?" Mr. Finnegan called out, causing the entire class to shift their eyes onto the pair, watching as color rose to their cheeks.

"No, Sir. We'll listen." Phil said nervously as Dan shook his head. The teacher had a humorous going in his eyes and he chuckled and nodded, going back to teaching, taking everyone's eyes with him.

Dan visibly relaxed when the attention was dispersed elsewhere, and also when a cool, pale hand placed itself just above his knee, settling there with reassurance. 

Dan just smiled and began taking down notes.

\--

"I'll see you tomorrow, Dan! Pick you up at noon." Phil shouted as the brown-haired boy walked the steps to his house, leaving him to retire to his own home where he could prepare for their date.

Or, well, their day out. Because it wasn't a date. Even though it basically was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again wow this sucks. I'm kind of feeling insecure about this whole story because I just really feel like it sucks and idk are you guys getting impatient with it? Like, actual official phan won't happen for a bit bc I like for things to develop and not have them having sex in chapter 3. I like for them to develop friendship and actual feelings before jumping right in. Does that aggravate you guys?
> 
> Idk comment bc y'all are great and ily.


	10. Roller Skating and Arcade Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments I got last chapter were some of the sweetest things ever! You guys are awesome and so nice and uplifiting. Here's a cute chapter!!

It was around noon on a Saturday when a series of knocks sounded through the Howell's house followed by Dan rushing down the steps heavily, threading a belt through the loops of his jeans.

"What's got you in a rush?" Peter chuckled. Dan grinned and nodded to the door.

"Oh, is that Phil here?"Anne asked, taking a seat next to her husband after fixing them both some lunch.

Dan nodded, running to kiss his mum's cheek and hug his father before sprinting to the door. He opened it and smiled goofily and the man in front of him.

"Hiya, Danny-boy." Phil said, smirking when the mute boy glared at the name. "Right, you ready to go?" Dan nodded, quickly grabbing a jacket and shrugging it in.

"You haven't had lunch yet, have you?" Phil asked, stopping to look at a Dan for his answer. He shook his head no. "Good. I was thinking McDonald's? If that's okay? I mean, we can go somewhere nicer. It's just quick and-"

Dan cut Phil's rambling by grabbing his hand and lacing their fingers, grinning and rolling his eyes. Sometimes Phil could worry so much, and it was just silly. 

Phil just wanted their afternoon to be fun and happy because the brown-haired boy deserved it.

Once at the fast food restaurant, Dan collected straws, napkins, and ketchup while Phil ordered for them. They met back at a booth and climbed in, Dan eating his chicken nuggets and  Phil muching on his Big Mac. Finally, after eating, Phil threw the trash away and they exited the place.

"Off to the roller rink before we freeze our asses off!" Phil said, shivering in the chilly November air. He looked over and smacked Dan's butt before whispering 'and it'd be a shame to loose an ass like yours' in his ear, causing the mute boy to shiver. He blamed it on the crisp, cold air and not the fact that Phil's hot breath fanned across skin, goosebumps prickling up with his friend's close proximity.

Dan blushed and squealed, rolling his eyes and elbowing Phil, who gave him an innocent smile. He then proceeded to rub his hand over the boy's hip, trailing his fingers across Dan's back before settling in his farthest pocket, letting his hand rest against the brown-haired boy's butt, mumbling something about cold hands but giving no further explanation for why his own pockets weren't suitable. 

Dan didn't say anything. Obviously. But he surely didn't put up an argument.

\---

Dan sat at a bench in the uncrowded roller rink, glancing around the building, noticing a juke box and the waxed skating floor and all the arcaded games and even a room labeled laser tag off to the side. He thought about asking Phil once he got back with their roller skates.

"Alright. I rented us some shoes." Phil said, handing the boy some skates. They both sat and tied their skates on. Dan stood up and tried to walk, stumbling and grabbing onto Phil, shrieking in fear.

"Easy there, tiger." Phil chuckled, holding Dan's waist. "Have you ever been skating before?" The mute boy held up a single finger.

"Oh, well, then I'll just have to help you." Phil smirked, helping Dan walk, though very slowly, to the actual skating area. "My father used to take us like, every weekend when we were little. Then he switched jobs and had to travel a lot. But, Martyn hot a job here when he was in high school and he had a discount, so we started coming again. I've been here more times than I can count."

Dan gasped and flailed once on the slick floor. Phil cluthed onto him, both hands on his hips and pushing him forward. They went on like this for a while, Dan getting used to it and starting to do well.

"You wanna try on your own?" Phil asked, smiling with adoration when the brown-eyed boy nodded warily. He froze as Phil's hands retracted and he was left on his own.

"You can do this. I'm right here." He said encouragingly, giving a thumbs up and grinning, as he turned and started skating backwards, watching Dan as he went.

The mute boy smiled wildly and happily as he started skating on his own, dancing on the slick floor made him feel like he was flying. 

"Dan, you might need to slow down and use the stopper because we're coming to a corner." Phil said, kind of loudly as his friend was skating quite speedly toward a wall. Dan stared wide eyed and mouth open, shock setting in as he quickly approached the wall, unable to stop.

"Dan!" Phil yelled, rushing to the boy, but not making it quickly enough, watching in horror as Dan's shoulder crashed into a wall and caused the boy to fall to the ground, landing with a thud on his butt.

"Oh my God, Dan! Are you okay?" Phil asked worriedly, helping the boy up and guiding him to a bench. He unstrapped the skates from Dan's feet before taking his own off. He assessed the boy's wounds.

"Where does it hurt?" Phil asked, looking everywhere frantically. He couldn't help but notice how he was treating Dan so childish, but he was just so protective that he couldn't help it. He looked in Dan's eyes to see small tears spilling over. He quickly thumbed them away, whispering that all would be okay.

"Please, baby, tell me where it hurts?" He asked again, quieter and softer this time, the pet name rolling off his tongue without much regard. Dan looked up then, sniffling softly, and pointing at his shoulder. The same shoulder he crashed into the wall with. Phil nodded and pulled at the boy's sweater, bunching the soft, gray material to reveal a red patch of skin that was quickly turning into a purplish color.

"Oh, Dan." Phil said pitifully, feeling awful for getting the boy hurt. "I'm so sorry." Dan just shrugged, dismissing him.

"Is anywhere else hurt, sweetie?" Phil asked and watched as the boy looked down sheepishly. "What is it?" He asked again, waiting patiently. Dan raised a leg and and pointed at his bottom, blushing with embarrassment. Phil chuckled and smiled now that Dan had stopped crying and had gotten over his shock.

"Need me to kiss it better?" He asked with a wink, receiving a plaful slap to the bicep and a scolding glare.

"I'm just saying, I want nothing but your utmost comfort and I'm more than willing to get my mouth on that pretty little ass of yours." Phil said, only half joking. It wasn't a lie by saying that Dan was attractive. He was cute and the submissive type and completely fuckable. Not that Phil thought about things like that.

Dan gasped and then giggled, blushing the whole time. This was one of the reasons why he liked Phil. He could always make the mute boy feel better.

"Anyway, I think we should stay away from the rink, yeah? I saw some arcade games over there." Phil suggested, helping Dan up after putting on their regular shoes. 

They walked to go return their skate, Dan with a slight limp due to falling k his butt.

"Did you boys have fun?" A nice woman who looked to be quite young, probably a bit older than them, asked. Dan nodded and smiled.

"Yeah, I think we're gonna hit the arcade area now, though." Phil said politely, making conversation.

"Oh, that's cool. I hope you two have fun." Megan, her name tag read, said cheerily. She fiddled with her curly red hair, a genuine smile on her face.

"We will." Phil said with a smile, his thumb rubbing the small of Dan's back absentmindedly.

"By the way, you two make such a cute couple. I'm glad you're happy even with all the judgmental people in the world." She gushed quickly, looking sheepish of her outburst. This took Phil aback, rendering him speechless, his mouth opening and closing, knowing not to object or  continue on.

Dan touched his thigh, stopping him from his stupor. He looked at the employee with a smile that spoke gratitude and thanks before pulling Phil away to the games.

"What was that about?" The raven-haired teen asked, glancing back at the skate booth before looking to Dan, who just shrugged and started playing Donkey Kong. Phil stared at the screen for a minute, thinking.

"Do we look like a couple?" He asked. "I mean, I guess I don't care. Doesn't bother me, but do we?" Dan shrugged again, pulling Phil to play Skee Ball.

\---

After countless arcade games and few rounds of laser tag, it was dark outside and Dan was mainly focusing on not falling asleep standing up. For someone who spends most of his time scrolling away on the internet, staying out for most of the day had wore him out.

"Dan, come on. You're the one who insisted on walking back." Phik said as they trudged home in the dark, light pouring through in patches from streetlamps and passing cars. Dan was tired, but had, indeed, refused to take the bus because he'd felt that he'd already coated Phil enough money for the day.

"We'll be at my house soon and then you can sleep." He chuckled, basically dragging the boy by now. Dan let out humph at the tugging on his arm, nearly tripping over a pebble due to his heavy eyelids.

"We're almost there. I can literally see my house." Phil said and Dan moaned, already feeling the soft bed and warm sheets on his cheek.

"God, you're three." Phil chuckled and pulled Dan up the steps to his house. The mute boy giggled and flopped on the couch once inside, smiling goofily, so tired he was hyper.

"Phil, is that you?" Louise called from the kitchen, walking in the lounge with a mug of tea in her hand.

"Yeah, Dan is here, too, though he's drifting in and out on the couch." Phil chuckled and Lousie peeked over to see the mute boy tiredly twirling at his chocolate hair.

"I assume he's sleeping over?" She laughed. Phil nodded, mumbling something about having to call the boy's mother soon.

"Well, I'll leave you boys to it. I'm getting tired myself and I have to drive back to University tomorrow." She said with a yawn, sipping at her tea. "Oh, and mum got called into work tonight. Should be home tomorrow." 

"Alright, thanks." Phil said, now scrolling through his own contacts in search for Anne's. They'd exchanged phone numbers once whole Phil was over at Dan's. 

"Night. Love you, sis!" He called after her as she ventured up the stairs. He tapped the contact.

"Love you, too!" She yelled as he pressed the phone to his ear. Anne picked up on the second ring.

"Hello? Phil?" Her soft voice spoke through the phone. He smiled even though she couldn't see him.

"Yeah, it's me. Hey." He said, looking at Dan as he slept on the couch, his eyelashes casting shadows on his cheekbones.

"Is everything alright? Did something happen with Daniel?" Anne asked worriedly. Phil grinned at how caring she was, continuing to stare at Dan and think about how pink his lips were. Light and plump. Slightly chapped. Kissable.

"Everything's fine, Mrs. Howell. Dan's great. Sleeping, actually." Phil spoke, gazing now at Dan's button nose.

"Oh, that's good. I was worried." Anne said, chucking softly to herself. "So, did you need something, dear?" 

"Well, really, all I needed was to ask of it was okay for Dan to stay over. He's wore out and actually just fell asleep on my couch." Phil said, chuckling into the phone. His eyes glanced at Dan's hair that was beginning to become wavy.

"Asleep already? And before midnight? You must have really tired him out." Anne laughed. "But, yeah, he can stay. He don't have anything to do tomorrow and I wouldn't want to wake him." Phil smiled, happy to have him home for the night.

"Alright, thanks. Well, I'm gonna get going. I just didn't want you to worry. Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna get your kid to bed." He said, laughing quietly. 

"Okay, dear, you boys have fun. Thanks for calling me. Night, sweetie." She said softly and Phil could imagine her sweet smile.

"Mhm, night, Mrs. Howell." The raven-haired boy said before hanging up. He turned to Dan and shook him lightly, feeling bad for waking him, but knowing he'd probably kill them both if attempting to carry him up the stairs.

"Dan, babe, wake up for a minute." He said, shaking he boy harder this time. The mute boy moaned sleepily and peeled his eyes open.

"We gotta go upstairs go bed, Danny-boy." Phil said, pulling at Dan's arm, emitting a groan from the boy. "Come on. Then we can sleep." 

Finally, the boy huffed and stood, stumbling to the stairs and taking wobbly steps up to the second floor. They reached Phil's room and the blue-eyed boy turned down the quilt before looking to his friend.

"Right, so, I called your mum and she said you could stay. Let's get you into something comfy and then we can sleep. Sound good?" He asked, noticing that the boy only understood half of it. He sighed but smiled at how cute a sleepy Dan was.

"Here let me take your sweater off." Phil said, reaching to take away the brown-haired boy's shirt, receiving a few blinks in return. He chuckled a removed the fabric, glancing at the boy's hurt shoulder, noting the darkening bruise before quickly covering him with an oversized T-shirt with puppies on it. Dan giggled at them. 

"Can you manage to take you jeans off or so I need to help you with that, too?" Phil asked teasingly. Dan sighed and stuck his tongue out before kicking his shoes off and shoving his pants down, groaning as he did so. The brown-eyed boy smiled and Phil before turning and crawling into bed, his shirt riding up and showing off his blue boxer briefs and cute little butt.

Phil grinned and stripped himself down to his underwear, pulling a loose shirt one and getting into bed. He pulled the quilt over the both of them and pulled Dan into his chest, whispering about how great of a day it was.

And before he knew it, their breathing fell in sync and their minds drifted into the void of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was something, hm? XD idek. I feel a lot beter about this story now that you guys aren't getting tired of it. Also, my puppy is cuddling with me rn and he's super cute and his name is Jonas and ahh!
> 
> Comment your thoughts and opinions on this chapter bc you guys make my day!!  
> Much love :**


	11. Sweet Treats and Muse Tickets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow is December 1st, who's excited for Christmas???? I've been celebrating since November 1st haha XD
> 
> anywho, I'm sick, yet again, and off school for two days. Pretty sure I have the immune system of an ant. 
> 
> But here's a quick update. I'm gonna go watch supernatural and then probably write a little bit. Enjoy!!!

It was now Monday, and Phil was back to his respective house, getting ready for school. He pulled his clothes on quickly and straightened his hair for about three minutes before deciding to just tuck it away in a beanie. He grabbed his phone from the charger and saw a text from Dan.

We're presenting our project today. Make sure to look cute. (; xx

Phil blushed at the text and shook his head at the boy, even through he knew Dan couldn't see him. He typed a reply quickly.

Smh. I always look cute. :p x

\--

Phil arrived to his first period - which was mixed with home room - on time, taking his seat next to Dan who was looking over their poster.

"I think it looks good. If we don't get an A on this project, then you can do my make up, dress me up, and I'll come to school and tell the principal that Mrs. Neal is sexist and lowered our grade." Phil joked. Dan looked up at him with a smirk, his eyes saying that he would totally go through with it.

"No, no, no. I was just joking." Phil defended. Dan pulled out a sheet of paper, scribbled something, and passed it to Dan.

You'd better hope we get an A.

Phil just chuckled at him and rolled his eyes at the silent teen.

\--

It was later that day and the two friends were in biology class, waiting for their names to be called so they could go and present their poster. Of course, Phil would be doing the talking, but his lovely assistant would be doing the pointing and gesturing.

"Alright, the final presentation of the day is going to be... Daniel and Phil. Boys, are you ready?" Mrs. Neal announced. Phil looked to Dan to make sure they were ready, but instead of seeing a look of readiness, the boy had a look of annoyance plastered on his face. Phil figured that it was because the teacher had called him by his first name.

Phil coughed, "Yeah, we're ready. But, one thing, Mrs. Neal... I don't mean to be rude, but he prefers to go by 'Dan' instead of his full name." Everyone was silent and they looked kind if shocked, and Phil didn't know why, he just told them what Dan prefered to be called. Even their teacher looked kind of shocked. Phil just shrugged it off because the look of gratitude on Dan's face was worth it.

"Oh, um, right, sorry. Phil and Dan, are you ready to do your presentation now?" She asked nicely, still a little uncomfortable.

"Yep, we sure are." Phil mused, pulling Dan, who looked a bit anxious, to the front. He gave the silent boy the everything-is-gonna-be-okay look and handed him the poster. Dan held it in front of him like a sheild while Phil explained the key points of project.

"And that's it." The teen said, resting his hand on Dan's back to comfort him. He had noticed the boy's ragged breathing and shaking hands beside him the entire time. Phil understood that being in front of people made his nervous, so he took the initiative to rub small circles into the mute boy's shoulders.

"That was very good, boys. I can tell that you two actually put some time and effort into this assignment, unlike some of the people in this class. I believe you boys deserve an A+. Take your seats, the bell will ring shortly." The blonde-haired teacher said briskly. Both boys rushed to their seats and Phil spoke in an enthusiastic manner.

"Oh, my God! We got an A+! Looks like I'm not dressing up as a girl." Phil said, turning sideways in his seat so both boy was facing the other with their knees touching. Dan and Phil shared a high five before the mute boy began to pout. Phil chuckled and him and rested both his hands on the other teen's knees before him.

"Really wanted to see me dressed up, huh? Well, how about I make it up to you? I say that we should skip. There's only like, one more class left. We should ditch and get ice cream to celebrate our A." Phil whispered, talking quickly and quietly as to not let anyone overhear them. Dan nodded rapidly and Phil chuckled as the silent boy's mop of dark brown hair flew all over the place. He had a strange urge to just reach out and feel it, but he resisted and shook the thought away.

"Okay, as soon as the bell rings, we'll go to our lockers and put our stuff away. Then, meet me at the bathroom next to the front door." Phil said and Dan nodded just as the bell rang. They grinned madly at each other, feeling totally rebellious to be skipping class for a sweet treat.

"See you soon." Phil said, winking and grinning wildly. He walked speedily to his locker, quickly shoved his things away, and swerved pass people to the bathroom near the front door. Phil stood patiently waiting for his brunette lab partner to show up.

It was about two minutes after the bell rang when a certain quiet boy walked around a corner. Phil perked up at the sight of the boy and smirked at him.

"You ready to blow this popsicle stand?" Phil asked. Dan giggled at him, but nodded. They passed the front office without any complications and made their way through the doors without being stopped.

"You know, not that I wanted to get caught or anything, but we didn't even try to sneak around, and they didn't even raise a head. The staff really needs to up their game." Phil chuckled. Dan nodded and grinned, the smile reaching from ear to ear and shimmering in his eyes.

They soon arrived at an ice cream shop where Phil ordered a cone of Mint Chocolate Chip and Dan, very awkwardly, pointed out a cup of Cookies and Cream. Once the two teens had their treats, they picked a booth, and settled in, a nice conversation starting between the two.

"Oh, my God, Dan! I'm so stupid. How could I forget to tell you?!" Phil suddenly asked, quite loudly too, seeing as half the people there looked back at them. The mute teen furrowed his eyebrows and cocked his head, silently asking 'what?'

"You remember at like, the beginning of the school year, I was walking you home and we were talking about Muse? Yeah, well, remember how I said that they were touring and they'd be touring here around January?" Phil asked quickly, speaking so fast that Dan had to take a minute to process the words that had came out of his mouth. The brunette nodded, indicating for Phil to continue.

"I totally forgot, but I bought tickets to see them!" Phil cheered, watching the boy's eyes widen from pure excitement. He gave Phil a you-have-got-to-be-joking look.

"I tell no lies, I swear. I got two tickets and as long as your mum trusts me, you're coming with me." Phil spoke, grinning as Dan stared in awe. After the boy started to process that he was going to see his favorite band live, he squealed. He didn't even have time to register that he had let out a noise because he was up and flinging himself into Phil's arms.

Phil snaked his arms around the boy as he fell back in his seat with Dan on top of him. The quiet boy raised his head and Phil noticed the biggest smile he'd ever seen on anyone. Their eyes bore into each other for what seemed like hours and as Phil noticed Dan's face getting closer, his heart starting to palpitate. The mute teen's breath fanned across lips, and Phil's eyes were wide. Dan smirked and leaned over to place a sloppy, wet kiss on his cheek.

Phil didn't know which was sweeter, his ice cream or his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, yo, I'm back. Okay, no, I don't talk like that. Anyway, I have some news.
> 
> 1) YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME. like, you're all so sweet and lovely and you guys comment things that make me want to roll around in the floor bc sweetness overload. Keep that up, yeah?? I love y'all.
> 
> 2) NEW STORY??? I'm not abandoning this one at all, but I'm planning this new phan story and I have the outline & first chapter completed. Idk if you guys actually care, but I'm excited and wanted to tell someone. If you guys are interested in reading, it'll be posted the day after Christmas or you can comment questions. (You guys probably don't care lol what am I doing??)
> 
> 3) I MADE A COVER FOR THIS STORY AND I THINK IT'S RAD AS HECK. unfortunately, I don't know if there's a way to post pictures from mobile, so idk why I even made one. I'll figure a way to show you all (not that you care).
> 
> 4) again I just love how supportive you guys are and maybe I'm just stupid but I've come to really like you guys and I even sort of know a few you guys who comment like, every chapter. I can really see how nice and funny you all are and it's super cool to connect with all of you through this story. AND OMG THIS IS MY FIRST PHANFICTION AND YOU GUYS MAKE ME FEEL SO WARM AND HAPPY. Feel free to talk to me any time through the comments or if you want to talk privately, I can give you guys my Instagram or tumblr or something.
> 
> Okay I've said WAY too much and you all probably aren't even reading this bc I'm so lame. 
> 
> Much love. x


	12. Emotional Flashbacks and Allusive Whispers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M DEEPLY SORRY ABOUT GETTING OFF SCHEDULE DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO HAVE LIKE, 6 CHAPTERS IN ADVANCE AND NOT BE ABLE TO UPLOAD THEM BC CHRISTMAS??! it's hard.
> 
> also, you guys seemed to have liked that sucky cover I made which was surprising because the amount of suckage was through the roof wow.
> 
> Also also, this chapter is VERY IMPORTANT.

Dan walked nervously beside Phil, and Phil had noticed. He wasn't exactly sure why he seemed so out of it, but he figured it had something to do with the text message he had received from said boy just a few minutes prior in their last class.

The text message had said: Hey, Phil, I have something I need to tell you later. Can I come to yours?

And of course, Phil had replied with a 'sure thing' because even through text message, the boy seemed anxious. There were no kisses or smiles in the message, and Dan was usually all about that. So, Phil said yes, and now they're walking to Dan's house to grab his laptop before heading over to Phil's place because they figured talking over IM would be faster than texting.

They reached the speechless boy's home in record time, due to the lack of talking on Phil's part (he figured making small talk would raise Dan's anxiety). Phil followed closely behind the other teen as they entered his house and walked to retrieve Dan's computer, stopping on their way to greet said boy's mother. Phil realized that Dan must have told Anne about whatever he needed to tell Phil because she wasn't as talkative as usual.

The two boys were soon arriving at Phil's place, and said boy opened the door quickly and said, "Louise is staying over at her friends, Martyn isn't coming back this weekend.  And Mum's running errands, she'll be home later tonight. It's just us." He was trying to comfort the anxious boy, that much was obvious. Dan noticed, smiled and squeezed his forearm affectionately.

They made quick work setting up their laptops, back to back, and sitting across from each other. Phil watched as Dan took a deep breath and began typing. He waited patiently for Dan to send the message, not wanting to rush the already nervous boy.  Soon enough, a message popped onto Phil's screen.

I want to tell you the reason behind why I don't talk. 

Phil was surprised to know that Dan was getting ready to open up. Yeah, he'd always been curious, but he was just so used to Dan not talking that it was odd to imagine him ever speaking, let alone there be an actual reason behind it. 

"Are you sure? Because you don't have to. I don't want you to feel pressured into telling me or anything." Phil rushed out. Dan shook his head and waved his hand, dismissing the idea in favor of confiding in Phil.

"Okay, only if you're sure." Phil said again. The last thing he wanted to do was push Dan into opening up and breaking down his walls. Phil wanted to be let in, but only if Dan wanted him.

Dan just nodded and smiled, though the smile didn't quite reach his chocolate eyes, then resumed typing. About a minute later another message popped up on his screen.

So, when I was younger, around 14, I almost died.

Phil stopped reading after the first time and let out a shocked shriek, "What?! You almost died?" It was a scary thought to think that he might never have met Dan. This boy had changed him, the way he thought, the way he acted. He didn't really care much, about school or different types of people and how to treat them, before he had met Dan, and now that he had, he couldn't imagine never having him.

Dan gave him a look that told him just finish reading. So, Phil did.

You see, I used to have a brother. His name was Levi and we were really close, you know? He was 4 years older than me, but he was my best friend.

"I didn't know you had a brother." Phil said quietly. The other teen just shrugged and continued to type.

We were coming home from a movie and it was January and the road was slick with ice, but he was being careful. And I don't even know what happened, just all of the sudden there was this blinding white light and then total darkness.

By now, both boys had tears in their eyes. Phil's tear ducts were flooding and the dam holding the salty liquid would soon break, letting the tears cascade freely down his cheeks.

Dan continued typing, and as he was doing so, Phil just stood up, leaving his laptop untouched, and moved to sit by the mute boy. 

I don't know what happened while I was out and I don't know how long it had been. I just know that I woke up and it was dark, really dark. I was in a great deal of pain and it was cold. I tried yelling for Levi, my brother, because he was right beside me. But he wouldn't answer and I kept yelling. I couldn't move, either. And he just wouldn't fucking answer and I was yelling and screaming and no one would come. I yelled until I lost my voice and I must have passed out at some point because next thing I know, I was in a hospital room.

Phil was full on sobbing at this point, and he wasn't even the one who went through this. Dan was crying, too, and leaning into Phil and all the black-haired boy could do was hold him and whisper, "I'm so sorry" over and over. Dan kept typing though, well, he tried, anyway. There were a few errors here and there and he had to constantly take breaks to wipe his eyes, but he tried.

We were hit by some drunk driver and that dick is still alive. He took my fucking brother and he's still alive. It's not fair, but I couldn't, and can't, do shit about it. The doctors said that I was lucky.  I got out with a few broken bones. But, they said that I was still in shock. That I was suffering from PTSD or some shit. Apparently, I don't feel safe enough to open up in fear of losing someone else. I don't know. When I finally got my voice back, it didn't matter. I didn't have the energy to talk, and I guess I've just lost my will to. 

Dan finished typing and both boys had calmed down immensely, only puffy cheeks and a few stray tears here and there. Phil wiped at his eyes furiously, surprised to have cried so much. He never really cried in front of people.  It made him feel weak, but obviously Dan had been making him disregard everything lately, as new feelings and desires had sprung up. Like now, all Phil wanted to do was reach over and wipe away the wetness from the brunette's face and then take him to the sofa and cuddle. 

Phil sat, with his arms still wrapped around the boy, contemplating whether he should or shouldn't go with his instincts. And then he decided, what the hell and went with it.

Phil pulled the quiet boy up and placed his on the side of his face, caressing his cheeks. He swiped his thumbs across the skin, ridding his face of all salty liquid. "Come on, let's watch a movie, yeah?" Phil watched as the boy nodded and his lips twitched upwards. They put their laptops away and stepped into the lounge area.

"Sit down, I've got it." The ocean-eyed boy said softly, a small smile gracing his lips. Dan sat down and Phil quickly put in said boy's favorite movie, grabbing a quilt, and settling them in.

Phil was sat up, reclined backward slightly with Dan curled into his side, head on Phil's chest, their arms wrapped around the other. They were completely tangled up in each other, and neither of them would have wanted it to be different. 

Winnie the Pooh came on screen and Phil grinned as Dan let out a little squeak. He looked down and grinned at the innocent boy, chuckling softly at him. The brunette just smiled, a true, genuine smile that reached his coffee eyes, and turned back to the movie, snuggling deeper into Phil.

They watched the movie in silence, neither of them needing  to talk. They were truly comfortable with each other, needing not to be something or someone else, just at ease with the other. They were fully content in their emotionally-drained state. And Phil let his mind wander, not paying attention to the movie, but rather the boy in his arms.

Daniel James Howell was an extraordinary creature, in Phil's opinion. He was mystical in every way from how his nimble fingers danced across the keys of the piano to how his nose scrunched up at the sound of his full name. He was a truly amazing character.

There wasn't a moment in time where the boy had ever looked anything less than perfect. And Phil had seen him at many different stages, happy, sad, freshyly out of the shower with hobbit hair, at night, just woken up. Phil had seen Dan full on sobbing, cheeks red, eyes puffy, face stained with tears. And not once had he been ugly or unpleasant. No, Dan was gorgeous all the time, both inside and out, and Phil wanted nothing more than this perfect boy to always be happy and safe and cared for because he deserved it.

And as Phil heard a small yawn escape said boy's lips, he decided voice his thoughts. 

"You're safe here. I'll always keep you safe." He didn't know if the boy had heard him not, as he seemed to be asleep. But it didn't matter whether he did or not because what he said still held truth.

But Dan did hear it. He heard every word that was spoken. And a smile played on his thin, pink lips as his breathing evened out and he plunged into restful slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THAT WAS WOOOOOW EMOTIONAL
> 
>  
> 
> anywho, I have an idea for you guys for Christmas because y'all are awesome and lovely and you guys make me squeal with happiness. I love you guys and leave a comment down there??   
> Stay rad.


	13. Rekindled Friendships and Holiday Events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well last chapter was an emotional wreck huh? but now you know! anywho, this Friday I'm having a sleepover at my friends with our two other friends (4 in total) and we're exchanging gifts and playing board games and watching movies. I'm thoroughly excited and I hAVE HAD WHITE CHRISTMAS STUCK IN MY HEAD SINCE NOVEMBER I AM READY FOR THE CHRISTMAS HOW ABOUT YOU GUYS?? enjoyyy.

Phil was sat in the cafeteria, food in front of him, waiting patiently for Dan to get his food and join him, gently humming holiday tunes. Christmas holiday was just around the corner and the teen had many things to discuss with his friend.

The mute boy made his way across the busy lunch room, tray in hand. And Phil would gladly admit that the boy looked quite nicely today. No, scratch that, he looked hot. His black jeans were extra tight and ripped in the knees, his gray jumper clung to his chest and torso in a flattering manner, and only his black jacket hung off his body. He sat down beside Phil, smiling widely. 

"You look nice today. Very nice." The teen voiced, returning the grin. Dan just shurgged and rested his head against Phil's shoulder. He leaned down and pecked the brunette's hair, inhaling the faint scent of green apples.

Ever since Dan had spilled his guts, the two of them had grown even closer, both physically and emotionally. So close, in fact, that most of the school thought they were dating. Hell, even Phil's mum was suspicious when she came home that Friday night to see her son and Dan practically glued together, asleep on the sofa. Neither boy really minded, of course.

"Hey, Danny-boy." Phil said, getting the boy's attention. He looked up. "Did you ever ask your parents about coming to see Muse with me next month?" Dan lit up like a Christmas tree at that. He nodded frantically and grinned from ear to ear.

"I take that as a yes, then." Phil chuckled and ruffled the boy's hair, much to his dismay.  Dan giggled and nodded. 

"That's great! Anyway, I wanted to ask you something." Phil said, watching the boy nod and give him a look to continue.

"Alright. Well, I don't know if you can or not, but Christmas is soon and I was thinking that maybe, it's okay if you can't, though, you and your parents could come over. We usually have a big Christmas breakfast and we open presents and I'd like to invite you over." Phil rushed. Dan placed his hand on Phil's thigh in a comforting manner, smiling and nodding. He pulled out his phone and typed a message to Phil.

I'd love to come. I'll have to ask my mum and dad, but I'm sure they would love to. :D

Phil's lip twitched into a grin as he read the message. "That's awesome. It'll be so much fun and you'll get to meet Martyn and my dad because he'll actually be home and you'll see Louise and my mum and yeah. Oh, and you guys have to wear your pajamas because it's a family tradition. I mean, you don't have to, but it'd be nice." The boy rambled on nervously. He didn't know why he got so flustered around the brunette, but he did.

Dan grinned mischievously and pulled out his phone.

I don't sleep in pajamas. Is showing up naked appropriate?

Phil laughed at that and nodded, "Totally. That's a sight I wouldn't miss out on. Might even sneak a few pictures for when I'm feeling a bit frisky." Dan blushed at the fact that phil went along with the joke.  Phil laughed and poked his cheek, feeling the warmth under the digit.

A comfortable silence fell over them, both teens pondering the holiday to come.  It definitely startled them when they heard two trays clanking down in front of them. They looked up, only to be greeted by Chris and PJ.

"What do you want?" Phil seethed, placing a hand on Dan's thigh, growing protective over his friend. The boy had stiffened, obviously wary of the two teens in front of him.

"We wanted to, um, well. We wanted to apologize." Chris said hesitantly. Phil didn't really expect them to apologize, but at the same time, he wasn't all that surprised. 

"Yeah, we really shouldn't have said those things to you." PJ spoke, looking at Phil, before turning to the mute boy. "And it definitely wasn't right to bag on you, Dan. You seem like a great friend, and Phil certainly seems happy. I'm sorry, to both of you." He seemed genuine, and Phil nodded, then squeezed Dan's leg reassuringly.

"I'm sorry, too. And if you don't mind, we'd like to sit with you and maybe be friends again?" Chris asked. Phil and Dan looked at each other and the raven-haired teen cocked his head to the side, silently asking the silent boy's opinion, to which said boy nodded and gave off a small smile. 

"Sure. But, Dan won't be left out." Phil said sternly, but nicely. Dan gave him a you-really-don't-need-to-do-that-because-I-can-take-care-of-myself look, and Phil rolled his eyes and returned it with an oh-shush-and-let-stand-up-for-you look. Dan huffed and nodded.

"Yeah, of course. I'd love to get to know Dan, and so would Chris." PJ said and Chris nodded.

"I mean it, guys. Treat him like you treat me, but better." Phil said. Dan rolled his eyes and Phil smirked, fingers squeezing his thigh teasingly.

"Absolutely. Wouldn't have it any other way." Chris assured, smiling at the boys opposite him.

The four boys began catching up and getting to know each other. And by the time the bell had rang, they'd all made plans for over the holiday and Dan had even exchanged numbers with the two teens.

"I'll see you, and your nice ass, on Christmas morning." Phil grinned, smacking the boy's ass as he walked away to get in his mum's car because he'd been picked up to go Christmas shopping with his parents.

Dan looked back and smiled, a blush painting his cheeks fire truck red, before he got into the backseat of his mother's car.  They waved each other off and Phil sighed, immediately wishing the other was here as the car drove off. Thoughts of Christmas with Dan swirled behind his eyes as he walked the short distance home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well howdy folks I'm back with a new chapter. America is really warm for winter this year and I think it's because of El Niño or something and it's ironic that I'm singing White Christmas because it literally feels like autumn. 
> 
> I am thinking about making a Christmas playlist on Spotify of all my favorite holiday jams/random music that I'd like to share with y'all. I'll post a link on my Christmas chapter if that's something you guys might enjoy?? I just wanna be able to SPREAD THE HOLIDAY CHEER THIS SEASON AND MAKE YOU GUYS SMILE?? What are your thoughts?? Comment pls. Much love!! *kisses*


	14. Excited Meals and Sleepless Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a short filler BUT the beloved Christmas chapter is next  
> also I didnt even edit this yolo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost forgot to update bc I was my friend's all weekend for our small christmas gathering and once I came home, I've spent all day playing with my little brother and that's why it's 10:30pm (Americano timeo (that was totally Spanish let's pretend)). Here you go enjoy.

The Lester family was gathered around the table on a frigid Sunday evening, snow falling outside the window while they ate and conversed with excitement for the holiday to come.

"So, Philip, I hear your friend will be spending Christmas with us. Is that so?" Shawn asked from opposite him. Phil nodded, waiting to swallow his lasagna, smiling when Dan was mentioned.

"Yeah. I think it'll be fun." The raven-haired boy spoke to his father. He never really saw his dad much and it was always kindly awkward when he returned home for holidays. That was mostly because Phil didn't really know him. His own father was basically a stranger to him, but he still loved the man and always tried to be on his best behavior.

"I'm sure. What's his name, again? Derek? Don?" Shawn asked, chewing his food thoughtfully. 

"It's Dan. You'll like him, I'm sure. He's super sweet." Phil said with a nod, wishing the conversation to be shifted off of him. His father was never mean to him; he was actually a very nice man, Phil just felt uncomfortable.

"Yeah, Dan is such a cutie. Super nice, too. You'll love him." Louise chimed in, receiving a thankful look from Phil to which she nodded and smiled.

"He sounds nice." Shawn said, and everyone could tell that he didn't really know what to say.

"His parents are lovely. You both," Phil said, glancing between Shawn and Elizabeth. "will love them."

"I'm sure, dear. I talked to Anne briefly on the phone the other day, she seemed lovely." Elizabeth said, reaching over and patting his hand.

"One thing, though, dad. Dan is, uh, he's mute." Phil spoke, worrying how his father would react.

"Oh. That's different. Is there something that happened?" He asked and seemed like the whole table let out a breath of relief. Sometimes Shawn could be a bit close minded.

"He's selectively mute, but something happened that caused it. It's not my place to say, though. He still communicates, so don't worry about talking to him." Phil explained. And then the awkwardness was decreased because Shawn nodded and then started a conversation with Martyn about University.

After that, Phil sat quietly and ate his food, growing more excited for Dan to spend Christmas as minutes passed.

\---

That evening with Howells was no different. The three of them sat around the table, eating stir fry and chatting.

"So, Daniel, are you excited to see Phil for Christmas?" Peter asked, subtly sending a wink to his son. Dan blushed and went wide eyed.

"Of course he is, Peter. You know that Daniel just loves Phil!" Anne teased, squeezing her son's arm.

"Oh, how could I forget?" Peter asked, smirking. Dan huffed and crossed his arms. He loved when his family joked around with him, but sometimes their teasing went on for ages.

"Daniel, we're just playing." Anne chuckled.  "Seriously, though, are you excited?" Dan nodded and smiled.

"That's great, dear. I talked to Elizabeth the other day, just to make sure about everything. She's such a sweetheart." Anne said and Dan nodded, smiling at the thought of Phil's mum. She really was a lovely person.

"Peter, I think we should show up early. I'd love to help Elizabeth with the food." Anne said to her husband. 

"I know how much you love to cook." Peter grinned.

"You know, Daniel has always said that I was a chef in my past life." Anne chuckled, sharing a smile with the mute boy.

"I'd believe it. But, hey, I don't complain." He laughed.

\---

That night, when the darkness and the cold had set in of late December, Dan and Phil laid in their respective beds, a few blocks away from the other. They exchanged messages of excitement through text until they decided it was getting late and they had better be off to bed.

But, as the early morning, that most always was mistaken for night, came and Phil was almost asleep, one more message vibrated to life. He checked his phone, groggily with sleep, but smiled as he read it. It was from Dan.

You're probably asleep by now, but if you're not, can you please Skype me? I really miss you. :(

And, of course, Phil wasn't going to decline. He grabbed his laptop and called Dan, both boys grinning once connected.

"You miss me, huh?" Phil whispered raspily. Dan nodded and blushed. "You need to be sleeping. You'll be tired in the morning." Sometimes Phil could be a total mother. Dan fired a quick text that said he couldn't sleep.

"Wish I was there." Phil murmured softly. Dan blushed but nodded in agreement. "Okay, I have an idea. Get on Netflix on your television and I'll do the same. We can watch anime together until we fall asleep, okay?" 

Dan grinned and they both set off to fix Netflix, watching the same episodes of Black Butler at the same time until they began to feel drowsy.

Smiles graced their faces as they drifted into sleep, willing Christmas to to come a few days early this year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are the sweetest things seriously even if you comment a picture of grass it makes me happy
> 
> So please show me your yard
> 
> Or just comment like usual because that's the best
> 
> Much love


	15. Hot Chocolate and Christmas Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just hear those sleigh bells jinglin', ring ting tinglin' tooooooo  
> Come on it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with yoooooou  
> <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few thingsssss
> 
> 1) IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE EVE
> 
> 2) I've had this chapter written and chilling on my phone since mid November or something and it was absolutely a blast to write and I'm worried you guys won't like it as well ad I do but I hope so
> 
> 3) I'm watching Jimmy Neutron with my little brother and I have no regrets because this was one of my favorite shows as a kid (suck it)
> 
> 4) if you're reading this (it's too late), please be sure to read the end noted as they contain words of importance

It was the early morning, nearly seven o'clock, when a series of knocks rang through the Lester resident. Elizabeth and Shawn, the two early birds, along with Martyn and Louise, who were too excited to continue sleeping, were seated at the kitchen table, sipping tea and hot chocolate. 

"Mm, must be the Howells." Elizabeth hummed, shuffling to the door to welcome the guests into their home.

"Why, hello. Come on in, it's freezing." Mrs. Lester said cheerily, noting that all three were adorned in their Christmas pajamas and coats. 

The Howells rushed in and removed their coats, planting them on a near by coat rack.

"I'm Elizabeth, or Liz, and this is my husband Shawn. This here, is Martyn and Louise. Phil's still sleeping." Elizabeth chuckled.

"I'm Peter and this is my wife, Anne. And I'm sure you already know Daniel." Mr. Howell greeted.

"Yes, nice to meet you." She spoke, before turning to the teenager. "Dan, if you'd like, you can go get Philip."

And just like that, the adults started up friendly chatter, the men talking about tools and work, the women talking about fashion and soap operas, leaving Dan to hurry up the stairs and into his best friend's room.

When he entered the quiet room, he was taken back by Phil's appearance and took a moment to appreciate his features. His snow white skin and pitch black hair that framed his soft, but chiseled face. His eyelashes casted shadows on his cheekbones and then his naked chest and Dan held his breath, wanting nothing more than to just hug the boy into his small arms and hold on forever. But he couldn't do that because it was Christmas and their family was waiting downstairs.

Dan walked to Phil and shook him gently, getting a grunt in return. He tried again, but to no avail. Finally the mute boy just sighed and jumped onto the bed, landing on Phil, who jumped in shock and then started laughing.

"Oh, my God, Dan. I thought I was dead!" Phil chuckled. Dan gave him a look of wide eyes and a grin for a total of three seconds before Phil grabbed him and shook him.

"Holy shit, it's Christmas!" He pulled the boy into his chest, grinning when he noticed the boy's pajamas. A red sweater with white Christmas print of snowflakes and reindeer, his pajamas bottoms green checkered sleeping pants. Though he didn't match, he still looked adorable, especially so since he didn't fix his hair.

"We get to spend Christmas together, Dan." Phil whispered softly as he held the boy tight, his nose pressed between the dark curls, smelling delicious green apples.

Dan was grinning like a fool, burrowing deeper into Phil's bare, snowy chest, feeling his heart palpitate erratically out of it's respective nook with happiness and content.

"Alright, let's go dig into the presents, what do you say?" Phil said and pulled back slowly, pushing Dan up as he went to where their different colored eyes met; Phil's a deep abyss of blue, reflecting an image of the ocean, the crystal waters lapping at the shore and Dan's, a dark chocolate brown, resembling delicious candy bars and getting lighter towards the center, creating rings of light brown around the pupil.

They jumped down the stairs, after Phil had put on a jumper with a UFO and a tractor beam, pulling up Christmas presents. 

"Alright, now that everyone is up and at 'em, let's get to the presents, shall we?" Shawn asked excitedly, drawing attention to the beautifully decorated and lit Christmas tree with piles of gifts under the branches. All the teenagers, and even the parents, cheered happily, the Christmas spirit radiating off everyone.

Fast forward and everyone was ripping paper off of items, throwing the discarded wrap all over, creating a blanket of parchment on the floor, so thick in fact, that Phil was making paper angels on the ground. Of course, Dan giggled at him, rolling his eyes before quickly joining in because seriously, who wouldn't want to make angles amongst trash? 

So far, Phil had received clothes and such from parents, a new sketchbook from Louise, a coloring set of pastels and water color pencils from Dan's parents, books from Martyn, and the Buffy box set from Dan.

Dan had received a Polaroid along with new clothes and shoes from his parents, a book from Phil's parents and brother, a whole bundle of festive socks from Louise, a black jumper that said 'idk google it.' from Phil.

After opening gifts and cleaning the paper, everyone hurried into the kitchen to cook a huge breakfast meal. With everyone working together and singing holiday tunes, the food was finished relatively quickly.

Dan sat the table while Phil got everyone drinks. Louise and Martyn started piling foods onto the table and both sets of parents finished up last minute preparations.

There were eggs and bacon and sausage and ham. Biscuits and gravy, pancakes to go around, hash browns and toast. Any possible breakfast delight, they most certainly had steaming on their table.

"Alright, may I have all of your attention?" Anne spoke up, looking around the table at everyone. "I know this isn't my house or anything, but I feel that we should all go around the table and say something we're thankful for. Is that okay?" 

"Oh, of course! How lovely." Elizabeth spoke, enthusiastically. "I'll go first, yes? Okay, I'm thankful to have all my babies home and safe this Christmas." 

Everyone nodded and smiled and then the line went on. Dan had already tapped out a message and handed his phone to his mother so she could read it.

"Dan says that he's thankful to be able to spend his holiday with such an amazing group of people." Anne spoke and patted her son's arm with tears in her eyes of complete joy.

"Phil, I believe it's your turn." Martyn spoke from across the table, tapping his foot on his brother's shin as a way to grab his attention.

"Oh, right." He said quietly. He had been gazing off in space, eyes stuck on the mute boy to his left, his mind swirling with images of chocolate eyes and delicate curls, soft hands and warm breath fanning across his face while they slept.

"I'm thankful for Dan." Phil spoke softly, catching everyone's eyes on him as though he were a magnet and attractive only to orbs. He could feel them all staring, but even more so could he feel Dan's soft browns burning a hole in his cheek.

He slid his hand under the table to rest on Dan's bony knee clad with cotton pajama pants. As he thumbed across the terrain, he spoke, now turning to face the boy.

"I am thankful to have such an amazing person in my life to share things, much like today, with. I'm so glad to have met you, Dan." Phil spoke, just to him as it seemed, the words flowing off his tongue effortlessly as though they'd been seated there for far too long, needing to be spoken.

Everyone watched as this moment of absolute love and friendship took place between the two and etched it's way into both of their memories, daring not to speak nor to interrupt because they didn't need to, nor want to. They just watched as Dan started crying and Phil took him into his arms and they hugged for a small eternity.

\---

After a massive breakfast that left everyone sprawled on any surface accessible for a half hour, everyone gathered to watch It's a Wonderful Life in the family room, Elizabeth and Shawn curled together, along with Anne and Peter and Dan and Phil. Louise and Martyn relaxing comfortably beside the other.

Once the movie finished and it was nearing the evening, the Howells decided to return home, but not before Phil could pull Dan into his room to exchange more intimate gifts that seemed to special to be gazed upon by anyone else.

"I, uh, I didn't want to give this to you until we were alone... I hope you didn't mind." Phil said rather nervously. This gift that he clutched in his hand was such a special present that was totally unique and one of a kind, just like Dan, and he wanted nothing more than to please this boy.

Dan shook his head and smiled, telling him that of course he didn't mind. So, with that, Phil nodded and sucked in a sharp breath between his pearly white teeth and handed the curly-haired boy a rectangular blue, velvet box.

The reserved male took the box into his gentle hands with caution, running a finger across the soft fabric. He opened the box and at the sight before him, Dan let out an audible gasp.

The box held a simple charm bracelet, the chain silver and home to three small charms: the letter 'D' on one side and the letter 'P' on the other, a small silver piano in the middle. He turned the charms over, as Phil had instructed, and read the engraving.

"Without you, my life would be flat." Except it didn't sag 'be flat' it what the letter 'B' with a small flat sign up next to it. Dan shook his head, tears brimming his eyes, and smiled widely.

He threw himself into Phil's arms, his own wrapping tightly around the boy's neck, grin growing as he felt to strong arms snake around the small of his back.

"Do you like it?" Phil asked nervously, receiving an obvious scoff followed by a furious nod. He chuckled and smiled, a warm bubbly feeling sprouting within his chest and spreading throughout his body like the blood in his veins with every heart beat.

Dan pulled away finally and took Phil's hand, dropping something in it and curling his fingers into a fist around the object. He leaned and planted a soft kiss on his friend's cheek before turning and walking out the door.

Phil opened his hand after taking a moment to recuperate from feeling his best friend's soft, but chapped lips pressed against his skin. A simple blue flash drive had been placed in his palm with the words 'Merry Christmas' scrawled in black sharpie on the side. 

Phil walked to his computer and plugged it in, waiting until whatever it was popped up. There was a video and below that, a picture.

He opted for clicking the video first, his curiosity growing as the seconds passed. As the video loaded and then began playing, Phil's jaw dropped almost to the floor.

The video was of Dan. There was no introduction or conclusion, no beginning or end it seemed, it just was. The whole event was captured from a side profile, as though it had been filmed on a tripod from the side. The angle, however, perfectly showed Dan's body.

He was sitting up very straight and his head was titled downward. But his hands were at the center of attention, his hands were the star of the show, sliding beautifully and delicately with ease across a thousand, it seemed, white keys of the gorgeous mahogany piano. His fingers pressing rapidly and slowly all at once to create the prettiest noises.

It was a symphony of sounds, all gliding into the next, describing events and places and better times, reminding Phil of every one of his encounters with Dan, except the familiar stories seemed so different and foreign, as if told from another point of view.

Phil had never heard such a thing in his life. He had never heard anything so beautiful or magical. 

And as the video came to a stop, almost as abruptly as it started, but with a life time in between, Phil was at loss for words or thoughts or actions. He could only feel. 

He could only feel the music and all that was, but never spoken.

He could only feel Dan and the tranquility that came with him.

Phil scrolled down to look at the picture, which was a photograph of the original sheet music, not that he could read it, but he still had it.

Dan had written him an entire music piece, which he had titled "Phil's Magnum Opus" and Phil couldn't handle how much love and adoration that was flowing through his body. He couldn't contain his feelings for the boy, which he knew, for a long time now though he never admitted it, had manifested itself into more than just love for a friend.

He had never felt this way about Chris.

He had never felt this way about PJ.

No, this had to be more.

He let his mind twirl along to the beat of Dan's own music, of his own music, while listening to the piece ten times over.

Phil didn't know what this feeling was exactly, though he had a pretty good idea, but he decided to think on it before automatically jumping at something. He grabbed his phone and typed out two words that he hoped could effectively showcase his feelings toward the boy.

you're beautiful.

And he pressed send without a second thought or a surge of doubt, but with total confidence. Then he fell asleep with only thoughts of Dan clouding his mind as the music filled his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THAT WAS MY FAVORITE THING TO WRITE IS THAT BAD??
> 
> Alright alright
> 
> shit is gonna happen soon and by shit i mean out dear philip here is gonna come to a conclusion of his feelings or maybe not who knows only i because im a wizard (the name is hermione)
> 
> anyway, because it's Christmas and stuff, I figured that if y'all have any questions regarding the story and/or I myself, you can do so in the comments and I'll answer them. You don't have to, but you can, it doesn't matter.
> 
> I also made a small Christmas playlist on Spotify for y'all but my phone won't let me paste the link. I'll to post it using an actual computer later, but I wanted to get this us because I've been excited about how fluffly it is for 2 months AND HOLY CRAP CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON BY KANSAS JUST CAME ON THE RADIO IN MY ROOM IF YOU GUYS LIKE CLASSIC ROCK OR WATCH SUPERNATURALYOU'LL UNDERSTAND MY PAIN I 
> 
>  
> 
> much love and MERRY CHRISTMASSSSSS THANKS SO MUCH TO ALL OF YOU WHO'VE EVEN SO MUCH AND CLICKED OM THIS STORY I SERIOUSLY LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH :* (I'm so emotional bc this song is still on and it's a good kind of emotional)


	16. Beautiful Music and Busy Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> philly has it rough, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my new story that i've been working on is officially up!!! for those who were interested, here's the summary and the link will be at the end of the chapter.
> 
> Signed, Dan Howell
> 
> Dan Howell is you average 15-year-old boy. He likes video games and the internet, music and the way soft things feel against his skin. He likes his family and he likes his friends. He, however, does NOT like writing in the journal that was gifted to him on Christmas. Though, little did he know, that very thing would bring him the greatest gift he could ever ask for; a boy with ocean blue eyes and midnight black hair by the name of Phil Lester.
> 
> btw, the whole story is written from dan in his journal
> 
> ANYWAY ENJOY THIS CHAPTER

"Christmas was lovely with the Howells, huh?" Elizabeth asked to no one in particular, though everyone answered, professing how much fun they had or how well they liked the other family. Everyone except Phil, who was too busy lost in his thoughts to notice conversation.

"What about you, Phil? You enjoyed having Dan over especially, yeah?" Shawn spoke in his gruff, but level voice.

"Hmm? Oh, uh, yeah. Great time." Phil spoke distantly, only catching on when hearing his friend's name, blushing as though he'd been caught in the act of something horrible.

Phil's mind wasn't with him today. It was miles away, pondering things that seemed completely irrelevant in the moment, but would all somehow tie back into one thing. Dan.

His brain was constantly thinking about the boy as he went about his day. All he could think about while eating cereal, putting the tree away, showering, even while carrying on a conversation with his his family, his thoughts were on Dan.

He figured that he'd known for a while now, just never let the idea float to the forefront of his mind, always keeping the possibility at bay where he didn't have to deal with it. But now, it was all he could think about.

He liked Dan.

As a friend.

As more than a friend.

As a boyfriend.

And he knew that. He'd always known that.

He knew that the way he looked at Dan and talked about Dan and acted around Dan gave it away.

He looked at Dan like he was an angel. A beautiful, pure angel with chocolate eyes and dark brown hair and the cutest dimples that he could just go swimming in because they were so deep.

He thought about Dan's giggle and his soft hands and his tan collar bones that were sometimes exposed if clad in a loose shirt.

He would tell everyone about Dan's personality and how nice he was and how he liked Winnie the Pooh.

Phil could go on for hours about Dan's sass and his innocence and how he liked cuddling and how he played the piano. Phil really liked how Dan played the piano. The way his slender fingers could dance so elegantly across the black and white keys, making beautiful melodies.

Phil loved it so much that he had downloaded the audio file onto his phone and already had Phil's Magnum Opus in the 'most played' playlist.

He knew that all of these feelings and actions and thoughts were not things that friends felt. They were so much more than just normal friendship.

He had spent a longer amount of time than he'd like to admit thinking about Dan's lips and how they'd feel pressed against his own and how well both mouths would slot together passionately and sweetly.

He thought about being able to take Dan's soft hands in his own and just hold them and sway them to and fro whenever he felt like it.

He wanted to be able to call Dan his and hold him in public and brag to the entire world that something as sweet and precious as this boy belonged to him and only him.

And as Phil though all these things that he so desired, he realized that he craved Dan and he wanted Dan because Dan was just so perfect and wonderful and breathe-taking and it didn't even matter that he'd always assumed he was straight because apparently he wasn't, but he paid no mind because maybe he was just Dansexual.

With two blue ear buds placed neatly in his ears as Dan's instrumental rang through, Phil discovered that he had no idea what to do.

Should he tell Dan?

Should he keep it to himself?

Does Dan feel the same way?

What would come of it?

What would happen to their friendship?

Phil kept listening and staring into space from down in his bed, trying to find the answers written between the notes.

 

( link to new story: [Signed, Dan Howell](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5539403/chapters/12778652) pls give it a shot?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope y'all had a merry little christmas!
> 
> tell me what you think and also, WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE THING/FAVORITES YOU GOT ON CHRISTMAS??
> 
> much love and i don't think i'm ready for 2016


	17. Fake Wine and New Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *innocent whistling*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what they do for a countdown in england bc im from murica where donald trump is leading the poles and it makes me want to cry

"Are you excited?" Phil asked, setting a bowl of skittles down on the coffee table, the plastic clanking against the hard wood. "For the new year, I mean."

Dan shrugged and placed a few packages of chips down. They sat out a few more snacks, basking in the rare, unusual sun shining through the window into Phil's living room. Phil unconsciously took notice of how the other boy's hair looked with the golden sun highlighting every brown strand, making him seem angelic.

"It doesn't really feel like a new year, you know? It feels the same. I just like celebrating things and having people over." He said, tidying the throw pillows on the couch before sitting down and messing them up again. It was all just busy work anyway.

Dan sat down beside him, and Phil noticed how close, too. A whole couch, and Dan was no more than and inch away. It could've been due to how he just plopped down, but they were practically touching. After Phil had came to an understanding with his feelings toward Dan, he really picked up on small things like this. It was like he was really seeing Dan for the first time.

This was great and all, albiet a little awkward. He didn't know how to go about things anymore. He was afraid the slightest bit of affection would give him away, but at the same time, being distant would totally tell something was off. There was no winning a war against your emotions. Especially when they were for your best friend.

They both let out a sigh of content, inspecting their work. They had a few banners and streamers placed here and there, plus all of their snacks, sitting and ready.

"You should text Hannah and Hilly and see if they want to come." Phil randomly suggested, trying to fill in the silence so his mind couldn't wander. Dan nodded cheerily and whipped his phone out, thumbs typing away in lightning speed. He could almost hear his grandpa grunting about "kids these days with their ole cellular phones and back when I was a boy-"

Dan and Phil were hosting their traditional - though, this being the first year - new year party where they invite friends over and celebrate the year to come. They planned on watching the countdown on tv and drink fancy nonalcoholic grape juice in fancy wine glasses in their fancy party hats because they were, well, fancy. Dan had even bought plastic party horns for fuck's sake and you can't get fancier than that.

They were also hosting it at Phil's house for two reasons, the first being that Phil's mum and dad were going out and the second being that Dan's mum had to work the next day and didn't want to be kept up all night due to giggly boys.

Chris and PJ were due to arrive any moment with snacks and their clothes to stay over and now that Dan had given him a thumbs up and shown him the text, Hannah and Hilly were due in an hour or so.

"Don't forget to text them my address. I'm sure they don't have mind reading abilities." Phil chuckled teasingly, laughing harder when Dan blushed and furiously typed out directions.

He stuck his tongue out in desperation to have the last laugh, but ended up squealing when Phil caught it between his index and thumb.

"Silly goose."

\---

A few hours later and everyone was piled into Phil's lounge, recounting stories of Christmas holidays and things they'd received. The two sisters had gotten on quite nicely with Chris and PJ and everyone just felt like family.

"This is the best New Year party I've ever been to." Hannah randomly said, grabbing a party horn and blowing it in Chris's face, laughing as the paper unfolded and hit the boy in the cheek. "I mean, there's party horns and everything."

"This is the only New Year party you've ever been to." Hilly laughed, poking her sister's cheek. Hannah shot her a little glare but continued laughing as she blew the paper in Chris's face.

"Alright, who got the party horns?" Chris said with a groan. "Because I swear to God..."

"It was Dan's idea." Phil said with a chuckle, grinning as the mute boy got up and walked to Chris, blowing the horn into his face, hitting him square in the nose. Hannah gave him a high five and she, too, continued to blow the paper in his face as everyone laughed.

"You're a dead man, Howell." Chris threatened, a teasing glint in his brown eyes. Dan raised his eyebrows, giving an "oh-I-bet" look. He raised the horn to his lips oh so slowly.

"Don't you do it." Chris said slowly, still fending off Hannah's blows. Dan smirked around the horn and all at once blew rapidly, hitting Chris a good five times before it was ripped from his mouth.

"I'll get PJ on you! He's like a wild dog when he's furious." Chris warned, bearing his teeth like an animal. Everyone turned their attention to the curly-haired boy in question, who sat in black skinny jeans and a Pokémon shirt.

"Oh, please," Hannah snorted, placing a small hand on PJ's knee. "Peej here couldn't hurt a fly. He's almost as soft as Dan." PJ laughed.

"It's true."

After a little while, everyone was sitting in front of the television, passing a bowl of popcorn around, and watching some comedy to pass time before the countdown. All six of them had gotten into their pajamas, Hannah and Hilly clad in leggings and  shirts, Chris and PJ wearing watcher shirts they had been wearing that day and some checkered pants. Phil was even wearing his glasses. Dan however, Dan took the cake. He didn't compare to anyone, being a little tease and having forgotten his clothes at home, wearing Phil's sweat pants and one of his old school hoodies. It all felt very domestic which left butterflies fluttering in Phil's stomach all night.

The main character of whatever film they were watching had just done something funny as everyone burst into laughter. Phil wasn't paying attention to the movie, but joined in laughing as he watched how goofy Dan looked with his dorky giggling, eyes crinkled at the sides and dimples pushed in deeply.

The end credits were soon to roll on the screen, shocking Phil that he could spend some two hours just staring and Dan and thinking about him. As the lights flicked on, a blush painted his cheeks.

"That was good movie. Don't you think, Phil?" Chris said with a knowing smirk. Phil whipped his head away from Dan and nodded furiously.

"It sure was." He said, not missing a beat, before turning back to Dan and softly whispering. "Definitely a favorite." The boy grinned before getting up and taking the empty bowl and drinking glasses with him to the kitchen.

"Shit! Somebody turn the countdown on. It's 11:58." PJ shouted in a panic. Hilly fumbled to get the remote while Hannah clambered to eject the movie disc.

"Dan! Get your ass in here. The countdown is starting soon." PJ yelled as the television flickered to life, showing a crowd of people in London.

There was a squeal from the kitchen and rushed shuffling as the mute boy hurried to make the countdown. He ended up jumping over the back of the couch to get there in time, flopping on Chris and PJ and Phil. He giggled and sat up, making room for Hannah and Hilly.

People on the TV started screaming numbers. Everyone excepting Dan and Phil chanting along, the pair too busy eye-locked to join in.

10, 9, 8...

Phil pushed a stray hair out of Dan's face, tucking it behind his ear.

7, 6, 5...

Dan's face lit up crimson, a million jumbled thoughts buzzing in his head.

4, 3, 2...

Time stopped, regardless of the seconds passing.

1...

Phil leaned in and encased Dan's lips with his own. It lasted no longer than three seconds, before he pulled back like he'd touched a hot stove.

They stared at each other in shock, Phil's mind rambled with horrors. He scrambled desperately to get up and stumbled up the stairs. He entered his room and slammed his door, the sound reverberating throughout the whole house.

What the hell had he just done?

He had kissed Dan.

Why in the world did he do that?

Of course he had wanted to, but that didn't give him the right.

What if he just ruined everything?

There was a knock at the door and before he could even tell whoever to go away, Chris and PJ walked in.

"What do you want?" He groaned, rolling over and putting his face in the pillow.

"Who peed in your corn flakes?" PJ asked and say beside him.

"The world." Phil said pitifully. PJ rubbed his back comfortingly and Chris began to speak.

"You kissed Dan, so what?" He asked. "It's not the end of the world, mate." Phil moaned and sighed. He regretted it, but only because he didn't want to ruin everything. The kiss itself was the single greatest thing he's ever had, and it was only a peck. He'd shared kisses with girls that were much more heated, but Dan made everything feel new again. It had taken his breath away.

"I kissed Hannah and you don't see me freaking out." PJ said encouragingly. Phil sat up.

"You did?" He asked, surprised.

"Yeah. It was one of those friend things, you know? She's too much of a sister already." The curly-haired boy explained.

Chris nodded and said, "Yeah, and I kissed Hilly. Totally as friends."

"Wow." Was all Phil said, not really knowing what to say.

"Just tell him that you did it in a friend way and you freaked because you were scared you offended him? I mean, that's basically why happened." PJ suggested.

"Yeah, except you actually like him, but he doesn't have to know if you don't want him to." Chris said with a slight smirk on his lips. Phil's eyes nearly bugged out if his head, emitting a laugh from the two other boys.

"What? How did you know?" Phil asked, causing Chris to snort a laugh. "What's so funny? Why are you laughing?" It came out as whine, which it actually was.

"Oh, come on. You'd have to be blind not to see how you look at that boy. My God, you practically drool every time you see him." Chris laughed. Phil looked to PJ, hoping that he'd disagree, but only receiving a nod. He hung his head.

"Hey, don't feel bad. I can see why you like him. He'd be a fool not like you back." PJ said comfortingly. "Now, come on. You got to fave him some time."

He huffed and made his way downstairs, slumping his shoulders. He immediately straightened up when he caught sight of Dan, say between Hilly and Hannah with puffy, red eyes and tearstained cheeks.

"Dan..." He whispered. The boy looked up and Phil's breath caught in his throat. Dan was stunning, even with tears in his eyes. His straight hair was beginning to curl at the ends and his brown eyes were glinting and wet, making his eyes look an even lighter brown. He sucked in a breath.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to kiss you. It was out of friendship. I didn't mean to upset you, but then I was afraid you would be upset and I just freaked out and I didn't want to start the year off this way. I'm sorry, Danny. Forgive me?" He asked quickly, chewing his lip with his nerves. Dan nodded and smiled, getting up an hugging him.

"Are you mad at me?" Phil asked worriedly. Dan shook his head 'no' but sighed. He pulled his phone out and tapped quickly.

I was just worried, is all. Thought you were mad at me, tbh. 

Phil smiled and pulled him into another hug, kissing his head, "Could never be mad at my silly little goose."

"Alight," Hilly coughed. "Now that the love fest is over, let's have a toast." Everyone cheered and grabbed their wine glasses and Hannah went around filling each glass with sparkling white grape juice.

"To a new year with new friends." PJ said and raised his glass. "Wait. No. That sounded too soppy."

"To a year that hopefully doesn't suck as much as 2015!" Chris said. Everyone cheered and clinked their glasses before bottoming up and letting the juice slosh down their throat. Hannah made that groaning noise that you make when your throat burns after swallowing whiskey.

"You dork, that was grape juice." Hilly teased. 

"Everything tastes better when you pretend it's alcohol." She said, and everyone joined in drinking and making the burning-throat noise. 

It did taste better.

\---

As the wee hours of 2016 set in and everyone was piled in Phil's room on blowup mattresses and swaddled in blankets, everyone felt at peace and excited for the new year to come, to be able to spend it with such great people.

Hannah and Hilly were sharing a bed. Chris and PJ were sharing a bed, after jokingly saying "no homo." And Dan curled into Phil's chest.

"Happy New Year, Danny." Phil said and kissed the top of his head, burrowing his nose into the apple-scented brown hair. Dan hummed in his sleep and cuddled closer to Phil.

A happy new year indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man what the heck did I just do
> 
> who knows
> 
> comment yo bc I like this chapter
> 
> BTW I just love y'all so much your comments are literally my life
> 
> Much love


	18. Terrible Dreams and Whispered Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> phil fesses up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all were like "omg no angst pls for the love of god and all that is holy and no angst pls" and I didn't plan on angst anyway and I don't think this angst??? but I'm never really sure.
> 
> ENJOY NONETHELESS

Phil was in a room, one that held familiarity in his mind, but everything was blurred around the edges, the focus panned on one thing in the center, the background fading off. The center point was a person.

The center point was Dan.

He was crying, tears streaking his cheeks, and he was mumbling. His voice was faint and Phil couldn't hear it, like it was muffled by cotton. 

Phil tried his hardest to comfort the broken boy, but as he couldn't hear Dan, Dan couldn't hear him. It was as if a wall was separating them.

It was torture to watch, to see his best friend so hurt and alone, and Phil could only watch. Phil could only watch his body shook and his eyes flooded with tears, could only watch him crash to the floor and wail in pain.

Phil yelled and yelled, screaming to Dan that he was there and he could help if only the boy would let him. He shouted for Dan to tell him what was wrong. He cried to be able to comfort him.

But his pleas went unheard.

Phil was crying now, soft sniffles escaping him as he watched Dan lie there and scream. He couldn't hear him, couldn't decipher what he was saying. He could only crumple to the floor, hands pressed against the glass-like barrier, reaching for the crying boy.

Dan was calming down, almost falling asleep now, his eyes shutting and sobs ceasing. Phil let out a breath and watched his peaceful state. He closed his own eyes and waited. Waited for Dan. Waited to for the wall to be broken.

There was a crash and his eyes sprang open. There were people. Several people. All surrounding Dan, his Dan, and hoisting him out of wherever he was in. He was unconscious and still, and Phil could see the people talking and laying him down, before picking him up and placing him in an ambulance.

Next thing he knew, everything was white. The walls, the floor, the bed. There was no color to be found until there was. 

Peeking out from crisp, white linens, was a dash of tan and brown. Smooth, tan skin and soft, brown hair.

Dan.

Dan was in the hospital.

There were nurses rushing in and Phil could see Anne and Peter tucked away in the room's corner, watching with scared faces as their son opened his eyes.

And everything was silent.

Dan was silent.

And then Phil woke up, tangled in his colorful blue and green comforter, sweat drenching him whole.

He had just dreamed Dan's nightmare. He had just dreamed that horrible car accident and Dan screaming and blacking out and never talking again.

And Phil couldn't breathe. 

He dashed out his bed to find someone, to make sure this was reality and he still had Dan and-

And Phil was alone.

There was a note on the fridge that Elizabeth had got called in for work, so Phil went to take a shower with his fingers shaking and heart sinking in his chest. Phil couldn't let Dan be alone this time on the anniversary of his brother's death because being alone was never good.

The shower proved to be a great place for thinking. Or forgetting. Or both.

With every drop of water that rolled down Phil's back, he let the dream wash away as well, opting to direct his thoughts on the new year party, as it often did.

Phil thought about the kiss with Dan and smiled, almost feeling the boy's lips on his, soft and winter-chapped, warm and unmoving. 

Things weren't awkward, and Phil was thankful, but he almost wished it were because he wanted to talk to Dan about it. He didn't know how because it wasn't causing a problem between them, only causing a problem for Phil, and not even really that, more so the opposite. Phil wanted more.

He wanted more kisses.

He wanted more than just friendship.

He wanted more Dan.

\---

Phil really needed to talk to someone. He needed advice on what to do. Should he go for it or not? Should he wait and then maybe talk to Dan? What the hell should he do?

The problem with needing help on a Saturday at noon was that he was all alone.

He would've talked to his mother, but she wouldn't get home until late and then she'd be too tired to think correctly. His dad, too, was already back to work, half way across the country for some meeting with another business. He was never home, and even if he was, Phil doesn't think he'd talk to him about this anyway. Louise or Martyn seemed like a good idea, he knew he could trust them. They were at university, though, and each was a couple hours drive. He didn't want them to drive all this way and he didn't want to talk over the phone.

Phil texted Chris and PJ, seeing if either was free, and with his luck, they weren't. Chris spending time with his sister and PJ was working on a huge essay due the next Monday. The teen would've contacted Hannah and Hilly, but it just didn't feel right. He didn't want them to have to keep something from Dan, or possibly end up telling him.

Honestly, Phil just wished he didn't have a huge, flaming crush on Dan because he'd love to be able to talk to Dan about his problem.

There was only one person Phil could think to be left, and unfortunately, it might be a little uncomfortable, but it was his last hope.

\---

Phil found himself, dressed warmly in a galaxy coat, rapping his knuckles against the Howell's front door. Anne opened it with a kind smile.

"Oh, Phil, dear, come in! I didn't know you were coming today." Anne said and ushered him in. He pulled off his coat and placed it on the coat rack before slipping his shoes off at the door.

"I didn't know I was either. More of a spur of the moment kind of thing. I hope I'm not causing a problem?" Phil asked worriedly, following the woman into the kitchen where she finished brewing some tea.

"Nonsense. It's always nice to have you over, Phil. We're having a lazy day, anyway." She chuckled, fixing them a cup of tea. "You would like some, won't you? It's peppermint."

"That sounds great, Mrs. Howell." Phil said, now taking the mug and sipping.

"How many times have I told you, Phil? Call me Anne. We're basically family now." She said, joining the teenager at the kitchen table.

"Sorry, Anne. I do agree, though, we're just like family. I'll probably be calling you mum before too long." Phil joked, laughing at the truth of it.

"I wouldn't mind, son." She laughed, patting his hand. "Actually, Dan's just upstairs if you're wanting him."

"Um, well, if you don't mind, I actually came to talk to you." Phil said, unsure now. She nodded and smiled.

"Of course. Go on, then." 

Phil didn't know how to go about it and he didn't want to beat around the bush, so he opted for the easier conversation.

"Right, so, Dan had told me about, um, Levi and I know the date is coming up, yeah?" Phil asked, and god, he hated bringing this up. Anne deflated at those words. She was still smiling, but there was a sadness in her eyes and Phil hated that the family ever lost someone so close.

"Yeah. Around the 14th of January." Anne said softly.

"I'm sorry, but I was wondering, maybe Dan could stay that week at my house? It would help take his mind from it and I know how much the loss affected you all. On the actual day, Peter and you could come over and... I don't know. I just want to help." Phil said, trailing off. Anne smiled, tears sparkling in her eyes.

"My, my, Phil, you really are such a sweetheart. I don't mind Dan staying for that week. I would like to be with him on the certain day, though. I'm sure Peter feels the same." Anne said and smiled.

"I thought that maybe with Dan over, you guys could go out or something for a few days? If you can get off work, maybe you can go on a small vacation." Phil smiled.

"Some time away would be nice..." Anne said, her mind already swirling with ideas. "Thank you, Phil. You're just lovely."

"Guilty." Phil joked, chuckling a bit. Anne laughed and squeezed his hand. 

"You're a character, aren't you?" She said, shaking her head. "Now, was there anything else?" Phil froze. Was this really a good idea? He knew he could talk to Anne, but should he? This was about him liking her son and he didn't even know how she felt about homosexuality or anything. Was Dan even gay? Oh, God, Phil couldn't breathe.

"Phil, dear? Are you alright?" Anne asked worriedly, sitting her tea down and standing up. She walked over to Phil and took his face in her hands, brushing his cheeks with her thumbs.

Phil shook his head and sucked in a deep breath, trying to gain control. Maybe he should talk to someone because keeping it all bottled up was surely not benefitting him.

"I, uh, just have a lot on my mind. I don't know if it's a good thing to talk to you about it." Phil said quietly. Anne nodded and sat back down, holding his hand in a motherly kind of way. In that way that calms you down and comforts you and lets you know will be okay.

"Well, that's alright, dear. How about you talk to your mother when you get home?" She offered.

"She's at work until late. She'll be too tired when she gets home and I don't want to bother her." Phil explained.

"What about your father?"

"At work. Always at work."

"Brother? Sister?"

"Uni."

"Other friends?"

"Busy."

"My dear, you're just all alone. What about Dan? He's a great listener." Anne suggested.

"I can't," Phil whined. "It's to do with him." Anne smiled a knowing smile.

"Oh, I see. Why don't you just tell me? I'm a good listener and I don't let my opinions get in the way. You can come to me about anything, Phil. That's what family is for." Anne explained, encouraging him to go on. She had a good idea about what it was anyway.

"Don't be mad, yeah?" Phil whispered and she rolled her eyes.

"I couldn't be mad, dear." She said.

"Alright." Phil said, sucking in a deep breath. "I think I like Dan. Like, more than friends. Actually, I don't think, I know. I really like him." He felt like the biggest weight had been lifted from his shoulders, but it was short lived as a load of anxiety settled in his chest. What would Anne say?

"I know." Anne said simply and Phil's mouth nearly dropped to the floor.

"What?" He said, shocked.

"Well, it's quite obvious, dear. The way you're always looking at him and smiling and the way you treat him. It's cute, really." She mused and Phil just sat there, taken aback.

"It's that obvious, then?" He asked.

"Well, to me, it is. Call it a mother's intuition." She laughed.

"Don't laugh." Phil whined.

"Sorry, dear. So, what's the problem?" She asked.

"That is the problem! I can't tell him, can I? I don't want to ruin our friendship. I don't even know if I want a relationship. I just..." Phil trailed off with a sigh. "What do I do?"

"Well, that's up to you, sweetie. I doubt you'll ruin your friendship with Dan, though." She said.

"Anne, please. Just, how do I go about it?" Phil said with a whine. He didn't know what to do and he just needed help. Anne chuckled.

"I can't tell you what to do, Phil. My suggestion, however, is to take it slow. Really figure out what you want before you jump into anything. Just think it over." Anne said and Phil nodded. That made sense.

"Okay, well, I guess I'll go visit with Dan for a bit. Tell him about the week sleep over thing." Phil said, standing and pushing his chair in.

"You boys have fun, I've got to get started on laundry." Anne said, also getting up and walking off in the house.

Phil took a final drink of his tea, sighing contently as the warm liquid washed down his throat before turning to go to the stairs. He stopped, however, when he caught sight of something, or rather someone, standing on the last step, dressed cutely in a large shirt and boxers. Phil's breath caught in his throat and suddenly, he felt light-headed. 

"Dan..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are you guys getting tired bc stuff hasn't really happened bc I swear stuff is getting ready to happen!!! I just wanted this story to really be about friendship as well. Idk.
> 
> I LOVE LOVE LOVE ALL OF YOU. COMMENTS ARE MULTIPLYING AND THEY'RE ALL SWEET AND EACH AND EVERYONE MAKES MY DAY AND I OBSESSIVELY CHECK THE SITE AND I THINK ABOUT Y'ALL IN SCHOOL AND I'LL BE LIKE "can't wait to update so I can talk to these lovely people" I'M NOT EVEN JOKING ITS KIND OF SAD BUT ALSO BEAUTIFUL 
> 
> bless
> 
> btw, my other phan story was just updated today if ya wanna go read and yes I just shamelessly self promoted but do I care?
> 
> no.
> 
> Much love and stay beautiful!


	19. Disheveled Hair and Soft Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short and fillerish but more so in dan's perspective so hey that's new

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY IN ADVANCE IK IT SUCKS OKAY
> 
> I AM AWARE
> 
> I KNOW IT'S BAD
> 
> HELL I WROTE IT
> 
>  
> 
> I really wanted t get something out to y'all today bc today was also the day to update my other fic so I was like "kill two birds with one stone" and here I am but this chapter is kind of awkward but oh well I can't take it back now well I could but I ain't gonna

"Dan..." Phil said, trailing off. 

Dan stood there, in his pajamas that consisted of underwear, a large shirt, socks, and not to mention his hair being disheveled mess. He would've been embarrassed if it weren't for Phil standing there wringing his hands. 

He had heard everything. The whole bit of Phil admitting his feelings. He was shocked, yes, but only because he never thought Phil would like him back. And after that kiss at the party and Phil taking it back, Dan was sure he didn't have a chance.

"I...I... Shit. Shit, shit, shit." Phil said, starting to pace and pull his hair. "You heard, didn't you? Damn it!" 

Dan wanted nothing more than to be able to speak in that moment, to be able to comfort Phil, who was shaking and groaning, but he couldn't. He wanted to tell the boy that he likes him too and not to worry, but he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to speak, he never could.

He'd have to do his best in this situation. He walked over to his best friend and grabbed his hands, stopping him. Phil's bright blues met Dan's deep browns and everything was still. That is, until Dan leaned in and planted a kiss right on the boy's lips. 

That stopped his freaking out.

"You...?" Phil whispered, unable to communicate what he was trying to ask, but Dan knew and he nodded.

"You like me, too?" Phil asked again, his muddled thoughts a bit clearer now. Dan nodded again and rolled his eyes. Of course.

"Wow." Was all Phil could say and Dan giggled and nodded before pulling him up the stairs, knowing full well that the teenager behind him was staring at his butt.

They entered Dan's room and sat on his bed in silence. It was kind of awkward but not as much as either would've thought.

"So, uh..." Phil broke the silence, wiping his sweaty palms down the front of his jeans. "What does this mean? We're still friends, yeah?"

Dan nodded and smiled, pulling his phone out and typing an 'of course we are, Phil.' He really wished that his words could be more than just type on a screen. He wished his sentences were real and spoken, but they weren't. He wanted this for Phil because he really deserved it. He deserved actual conversation, but Dan just couldn't give it to him yet.

"I... I don't really know if I want a full-blown relationship just yet." Phil said.  "Not that I don't want  relationship with you... Just... Not yet." Dan nodded in agreement and texted him. 

Same. I think we should just kind of see where this takes us, you know? Not rush into anything.

Phil read the text and sighed in relief, "Honestly, that's how I feel."

There was another minute or two of awkward silence.

"Alright, well, um, I guess I'll be going, and, uh, yeah." Phil stuttered out, standing and walking to Dan's door before turning back. "I can't wait for you to spend the week over." Dan nodded and smiled for he too was looking forward to the week.

"And Dan?" Phil asked shortly, walking back to Dan, who now stood in the center of the room. The mute boy quirked an eyebrow.

"I don't want this to change anything between us." Phil said softly and Dan smiled, leaning in to kiss his friend again. It was short kiss, just their lips pressed together, long enough, however, for both boys to really feel the other's mouth, unlike at the party. They pulled away and Phil sighed contentedly.

"Except for that, of course." He said with an elated grin. "This is definitely good change."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowowowowow so many of y'all hit unsubscribe I can FEEL it
> 
> Anyway I got a new puppy and he's a mix between a pug and lhaso apso and he's the cutes thing omg he's black and I named him Frodo like from Lord of the Rings bc I am TRASH but he's so small and cute and I just -
> 
>  
> 
> I know it sucked but please still comment bc next chapter will be the start of the week-long sleepover and hopefully it'll be cuter than this load of garbage but I can't even care about it's level of suck bc 1.) I GOT A PUPPY and 2.) idgaf bc I do what I want
> 
> Much love, babies!! :*


	20. Blanket Forts and Bowling Adventures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mm that fluff
> 
> mm that *SPOILER*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be more descriptive and overall just better but im home from school today (lol they canceled and it didn't even snow) and I had to watch my siblings and clean and stuff so I didn't have time to write in class oh well here

It had been a whole other week, with school passing slowly and uneventfully, but Phil had made it through. Being with Dan at school and sharing quick kisses and holding hands in the halls proved to the teenager that he had done the right thing by talking to Dan and admitting his feelings. It hadn't been awkward in the least and didn't feel anything short of normal.

Phil thundered down the stairs on a Sunday afternoon, pulling his jacket on and running his hands through his hair in a quick attempt to look presentable.

"Off to get Dan, I presume?" Elizabeth chuckled from the sofa where she'd been catching up on her favorite soap opera.

"Yeah. Do I look okay?" He asked his mum worriedly, pulling at his shirt. The boy's mother laughed, but nodded.

"You look fine, sweetie. Before you go, however," She said, stopping her son in his tracks. "we need to go over some rules." Phil let out an inward sigh, but nodded and took a seat by his mum.

"Right, so, first, a probably most important... No sex." Elizabeth said bluntly. Phil's eyes widened.

"Oh, my God, mum, I wouldn't!" Phil screeched, causing his mother to laugh.

"I know, but I'm just saying, I know you guys have a thing for each other and I don't want you two thinking you can get away with it. Yes, I'll be working on some nights this week, but believe me when I say that I can tell. I knew with Louise and with Martyn and I'll know with you." She said. Phil nodded.

"Okay, okay, I get it. We won't do anything. Besides, I care too much about Dan to push anything or rush. We're not even officially together and I want it to be right." He explained. Liz smiled and patted his knee.

"Good boy. Such a gentleman. Now, I also expect you two to be in bed at a decent hour as you still have school all week. I'm not stupid and I know you'll stay up late, but don't complain of being tired and don't sleep in class.

"I know you guys will he going to a concert on Tuesday night, so if you do end up super tired, I won't mind you staying home the next day. I'll be off of work." She finished. And Phil had to admit, her rules definitely weren't strict.

"Sounds good. Anything else?" He asked. 

"Just one. Anne told me about what happened with Dan and Levi those few years back. I expect you to be comforting and caring toward him, Phil. It was a very traumatic experience and if he needs anything, even to stay home from school, let him, his mum doesn't mind. If he needs me and I'm asleep or at work, don't hesitate to get me." Liz said.

"Of course. I wouldn't dare leave him alone." The raven-haired boy said. His mum smiled and nodded.

"Now, go get your boy." She said with a smirk, watching ad her son sprinted to the door and exited.

\---

Phil entered the Howell's house and paraded into the lounge where Anne and Peter sat, watching a movie, their hands intertwined on the couch. Phil grinned at them and sat on a nearby chair.

"Why, hello, family!" Phil greeted with a cheerful smile, causing the couple to chuckle at him.

"Good afternoon, Phil." Peter laughed.

"Good afternoon indeed. I'm here for Daniel, if you don't mind?" He asked with a smirk, knowing that Dan could probably hear him upstairs.

"Right upstairs, darling. He's finishing packing for the week." Anne said with a sweet smile. Phil nodded and stood up, running to the staircase and taking the steps two at a time.

"Danny? Oh, Danny? I'm home!" Phil said with a chuckle, swinging the boy's room door open and walking in, taking Dan in. He was clad in tight, black skinny jeans and the jumper Phil had bought his for Christmas and black vans.

"You look really nice." Phil said softly, watching as Dan looked up from packing and smiled, and soft sweet smile that reached his eyes.

"Do you need any help?" Phil asked, flopping down on the bed once Dan shook his head no. He had most everything packed. He was just getting a few last minute things. 

"Your bed smells good, kind of like apples." Phil randomly spoke. It seemed as though now his feelings were out in the open, he could just say whatever he thought without worry. "I figure it's because you smell good, like apples." Dan just grinned, his eyes sparkling with adoration for Phil. 

Dan finally finished packing and zipped up the duffel bag, handing to Phil once the boy offered. He grabbed his backpack for school and slung it over his shoulders.

They said a quick goodbye to his parents and then they were off, walking down the street in the cold, winter air.

"So, I'm thinking that we go drop off your bags at mine and then go bowling? I wanted to do something to start the week off with some fun." Phil said, now opening the gate to his house and walking up the path. He looked behind him. "It's whatever you wanna do, though. You're the guest, after all." Dan rolled his eyes as they walked into the house. Once they reached Phil's room and unpacked his clothes in a spare drawer of Phil's wardrobe, Dan pulled out his phone and typed quickly.

That sounds like fun, actually. I haven't been bowling in ages. (:

Phil read it and smiled and then they were off.

\---

A few hours later and they were back home, settled in front of the television with Kill Bill playing on the screen, hands intertwined.

Bowling had been fun, for the first half hour or so, until they grew tired of throwing balls down the alleys. Dan especially getting grumpy when his ball kept rolling into the gutters, albeit being too stubborn to let Phil set the child railing up. They had left early and decided on a film and cuddling.

"Is this considered to be Netflix and chill?" Phil suddenly asked, making Dan choke on his glass of water, laughing and shaking his head. He pulled his phone out.

If you want it to be that (; 

Phil read it and smirked, leaning in and pressing his lips gently to Dan's, working them slowly against the other. Dan pushed harder, dominating the kiss for a split second before Phil smirked and grabbed his hips, pulling back.

"Oh, no, you don't." Phil said and nipped at the brown-haired boy's lower lip. "I'm in charge."

Dan nodded and smirked, pupils dilating. He moved and threw one of his legs over Phil, scooting up and sitting, straddling the boy. Phil let out a huff and a noise rippled from his throat, his hands finding their way to Dan's hips and resting there.

Their lips met again, but this time in a rougher manner. Phil licked his bottom lip, and Dan opened his mouth, letting Phil's tongue between his lips. Their tongues fought against each other and soon, Phil won dominance. 

Dan's hands snaked their way around Phil's neck and his fingers fiddled with the pitch black hair at the nape of his neck, their lips continuing to dance.

A good ten minutes passed before they finally pulled apart long enough to talk. Their breathing was ragged and unstable, deep huffs being pulled into their burning lungs.

"That was..." Phil whispered, trailing off and staring at Dan. He had a grin on his bruised, spit-slicked lips, and a blush painting his cheeks. He nodded with his deep brown eyes half-lidded and glazed.

He moved off of Phil and sat, regaining his breath. He then pulled his phone from his pocket and typed  out a quick message.

Was that 'Netflix and chill' enough for you?

Phil snorted, "It sure was." Dan smiled and closed his eyes, head lolling over on Phil's shoulder.

"Tired?"

Dan nodded. Yes.

"Too tired to make a blanket fort to sleep in?"

Dan's eyes snapped open. No.

They made quick work of constructing a fort by grabbing chairs and draping blankets over them. They filled the inside with stuffed animals and pillows and Phil's duvet. After a half hour, it was completely finished and ready for work.

"Daniel, I do believe this is the best fort in a decade. The queen would be proud." Phil said, glancing over their handiwork. Dan nodded and giggled, crawling in and snuggling up. He signalled for Phil to join him, which he soon did, quickly grabbing his phone before climbing in.

There was so much fluffy stuff that he couldn't even feel the hard lounge floor. 

"We have to take an obligatory blanket-fort-selfie." He explained, angling his phone as he snapped several pictures, some of them smiling or pulling silly faces, one with Dan making a V-sign and squinting with his tongue out, looking like an anime school girl, and possibly Phil's favorite, a photo of them sharing a soft kiss, surrounded by pillows and blankets.

His mum would possibly have a cow when she saw this in the early morning, but Phil didn't care, his thoughts on the boy tucked into his side as they both drifted into the oblivion of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that happened
> 
> JUST WANT TO SAY THANKS TO ALL OF YOU GUYS FOR RRADING AND COMMENTING BC I FEEL LIKE A FAMILY WITH Y'ALL AND I LOVE EVERYONE OF YOU
> 
> much love and have a good day (don't forget to comment)


	21. Tight Jeans and Concert Venues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MUSE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So glad I wrote this yesterday bc I'm stuck in bed with the flu ugh. 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway. Idk if I'll feel up to writing or not bc tbh, I feel like trash so I'll probably just be watching Netflix all day. If you guys have an suggestions of a movie/show that I should watch, you can tell me bc I'm stuck here for like, a week. I'll probably be watching Supernatural and Parks and Recreation, but it's nice to switch things up a bit.
> 
> Anywho enjoy this chapter

"So, I've seen you and Howell walking to school together." Chris said as Phil sat down at their lunch table. 

"Yeah, he's staying at my house for the week." Phil explained, picking at his food with disinterest.

"Oh, has he?" PJ said with a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows. Phil nodded with a smile.

"Why is that?" Chris asked. Phil shrugged.

"He wanted to, I wanted him to. Simple as that." He said nonchalantly.

"So, you guys cook together and watch movies and share a bed?" Chris asked with amusement in his voice.

"Mhm." Phil answered, watching the cafeteria door for any signs of the brown-haired boy. 

"Very domestic." PJ stated with a smile. Phil looked back at them as they snickered, and he was just about to come back with something witty, but Chris beat him to the punch.

"Speak of the devil." He said as a tray clanked against the table, signalling Dan's arrival. "Would you look who's here?"

Dan glances to Phil with a questioning look, but the raven-haired boy just dismissed it with a shrug.

"So, what are you guys doing tonight? Any plans? Maybe we could play video games or something." PJ suggested.

"Sorry, can't make it." Phil said, looking at Dan with a smile. "You see, Danny-boy and I have a Muse concert to attend tonight."

"Holy shit, no way. You scored tickets? It's been sold out for months." Chris said in shock.

"I got them back in the summer." He explained, placing his hand on the brown-eyed boy's knee, squeezing softly.

"So lucky." PJ said with a sigh. "You guys will have fun, though."

Dan nodded and grinned. He couldn't wait.

"Why don't you ever do anything like that for me?" PJ asked, turning Chris with puppy-dog eyes and a pout. Chris leaned over and flicked his nose.

"Probably because we're not dating, you twat."

\---

The rest of the school day passed by painfully slow for both boys. They found themselves dancing with anticipation in their seats as the endless minutes passed by. 

Soon, however, the final bell rang through the school and the two teenagers shot out of their seats and raced to meet each other.

"We've got to hurry. We've got an hour and half to get ready them we have to be at the venue by six." Phil said as they all but ran home. Dan nodded and sucked in a breath, trying to go even faster.

As soon as they got through the front door, they said a quick hello to Phil's mum and then ran upstairs to get ready. Dan had on an Origin of Symmetry shirt, while Phil's shirt just had the logo. Dan ended up changing jeans, opting for his skinniest black ones. They both pulled on jumpers and touched up their hair.

"You look hot." Phil said, looking at Dan in the mirror, causing the boy to blush and shake his head.

"Let's go." The raven-haired boy said and they went downstairs. Elizabeth went over some rules, telling them to return home straight after the concert and not to go anywhere else. The nodded and left, taking a few selfies on the way to the bus stop. 

"Are you ready for the best night of your life?" Phil asked as they boarded a bus.

\---

They arrived at the venue and waited in line, huddled to stay warm, until they were allowed to go in. They pushed their way to the first few rows and soon the lights came on. Dan sucked in a breath and reached to hold Phil's hand. The curtains opened and the crowd nearly lost it.

Muse opened up with Drones and soon enough, the entire crowd was singing along with their hands in the air. Dan was dancing along to the music and he couldn't keep the grin from his face.

The night progressed and now everyone was sweaty and tired, but it didn't stop them. Supermassive Black Hole started playing and as Matt Bellamy sang the part 'I thought I was a fool for no one, but, oh, baby, I'm a fool for you,' Phil looked at Dan and shouted along, "Baby, I'm a fool for you."

Dan couldn't help but blush, his cheeks turning red hot, his hair curling with sweat and eyes sparkling. He stood on his tippy toes and kissed Phil, hard. Hard enough to take their breath away.

Soon, Knights of Cydonia ended, closing the show. Matt shouted a huge 'thank you, London!' into the microphone and the lights  shut off. The band hurried off stage and the crowd started filing out.

"Thank you for coming with me." Phil whispered once they were outside on the pavement, his voice hoarse from screaming and Dan smiled euphorically.

\---

They returned home around midnight and walked up the stairs slowly, their muscles sore and jello-like. Dan's legs wobbled and he held on to the wall as he pulled his jeans off. He was too tired and happy to care about Phil being in the room, and Phil felt the same. 

"Do you need a shirt or something?" Phil asked, glancing over the mute boy's body and noticing him only clad in his underwear. Dan shook his head, his eyes already closed, as he stumbled to the bed and climbed under the duvet.

"Alright then, sleepy boy." Phil chuckled, climbing in after him, wearing a shirt and his boxers.

Dan hummed and snuggled into Phil, lacing their bare legs together under the blankets. Phil snaked his arms around the boy and pressed his nose into the curly, brown locks.

They both slept soundly, completely unaware of the door opening and Phil's mum snapping a picture of them curled together in bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU GUYS ARE THE REAL MVPS. 
> 
> literally, y'all are all stars
> 
> SHINING, SHIMMERING SPLENDID
> 
>  
> 
> I am flu-lucinating
> 
>  
> 
> okay but seriously I love you all.  
> the support I've received for this story is unreal and I get all these wonderful comments and EVERYONE of them makes my day. I love replying and joking around with you guys and I feel like we're all a little family and it makes me so happy. Each and everyone of you are so great and wonderful and even if you've only commented once or never at all, I appreciate the support and the reads and I just really appreciate you guys in general. I get so excited when I write new chapters because I love seeing your reactions and thoughts.
> 
> okay I'm getting all soppy and emotional
> 
> Much love and have a good day/night/afternoon/evening/idkwhereveryou'reat


	22. English Weather and Beautiful Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tbh sadness ahead
> 
> I got pretty emo when writing this so
> 
> okay so you probs dont know this about me but man I HATE trigger warnings  
> like life doesn't have trigger warnings and shit happens without a frigging warning but I LOVE you guys so here
> 
> tw: mentions of death, immense sadness (I think but idk), and that's about it I think unless you guys are threatened by tulips and daisies so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you guys tell that I never know what to title the chapters? In the beginning I thought it would be a cool theme bc the title of this story is "shut your mouth AND listen closely" so I was like "all the chapters with have 'AND' in it bc im so cool lol" and now it's a pain in the ass and the titles suck but I can't stop now
> 
> I have made my bed and now I shall lie in it

Dan and Phil had stayed home the next day after the concert, their bodies sore and tired. They also had a minor case of post-concert depression.

Soon, Wednesday turned to Thursday and Dan woke up and shook his head when Phil asked if they were going to school.

They stayed in bed until noon, finally getting up when hearing the soft rapping of knuckles on wood echo downstairs. Dan was unusually quiet, no soft hums or giggles escaping him today. It was a sad, settling quiet. One that seemed unbreakable and permanent.

Phil offered to get the door, only receiving a blink in return, the boy wrapped in his thoughts like a cheap microwaveable burrito, except no where near as delightful and all the more sad.

He opened the door to the Howells and let them in, neither parent any more enthused than Dan himself, but that was understandable because it's not as if today wasn't particularly happy, if any amount of happy at all. Even Phil felt sorrowful and sad and he'd never known the late sibling. He blamed the atmosphere, but honestly Phil's amount of empathy wrecked him. He could become sad about anything, i.e., a flower missing a petal because he just bets that the poor thing misses its petal and is sad and empathy isn't always for the best because without trying, he could find something to be depressed about and at the moment, his fix to empathy, which of course, was Dan, wasn't radiating his normal vibrant pink aura and emitting happiness, not that Phil relied entirely on the boy for his happiness, but it was just so easy to be happy when Dan was happy and now he's sad and Phil can't help but also be sad.

And now he's been silent for too long and he's just been staring at Anne and Peter and it's not all that awkward but Phil is naturally uncomfortable and he feels like he should say something, but he doesn't exactly know what to say, so he settled for a simple, "Hey."

"Hi, dear." Anne whispered. "Is Daniel in bed?" Phil nodded and led them upstairs, after they shucked their coats and gloves. It was raining outside and it was honestly as if the whole universe was sad, but it was actually exactly like that because Dan was sad and Dan his Phil's universe, so yeah, the universe was sad.

"Daniel, sweetie," Anne spoke, walking into the room and sitting on the bed. She rubbed his arm and watched as he turned over, his eyes red and puffy. Peter saw and walked over, sitting on the other side of his son and holding his hand. He had yet to say a word and Phil took him as the stone-wall-sad type, as in he was basically a blank wall when sad. He didn't show emotion and he didn't talk about it, he seemed to work things out by himself in his mind.

"Baby, do you want to get up?" She asked, wiping at his tearstained cheek. He shook his head no and made grabby hands for Phil. Phil smiled sympathetically and walked to the bed, sitting beside Peter and holding Dan's hand.

"You can stay for a little while longer, Bear," Peter said softly, breaking his silence. He smiled down at his son in a comforting manner. "But, we need to go visit Levi soon, and I know you don't want to miss that, even if you don't want to go now." Dan nodded and let out a silent breath of air.

An hour later and the entire family was settled in the living room, Dan curled into Phil and Peter comforting Anne. Elizabeth had woken up just a few minutes ago, as she had worked the night before, and was in the kitchen fixing tea.

"I've got five mugs of peppermint tea." She spoke, now walking into the lounge. She passed the cups around, smiling as Dan noticed his favorite mug, the Hello Kitty one that used to belong to Louise when she was little. He gave a sweet smile to Phil's mum, appreciative that she remembered.

"You're welcome, darling." Liz said as she took a seat in a chair.

"We should be leaving soon. Are you feeling up to it, Daniel?" Peter asked, looking over at his son who was basically laying on the blue-eyed boy's lap, Phil's fingers carding through his hair.

He shrugged but nodded and looked at Phil. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to convey a message, but Phil couldn't understand.

"I'm sorry?" Phil asked, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "You'll have to type it. I can't understand." Dan nodded and clutched the phone in his hand, holding it over his head, praying to God that he wouldn't drop it on his face and possibly break his nose. He typed carefully.

Do you mind coming with us to visit Levi? I really need you. 

Phil read the message and spoke, "So long as your parents won't mind. I really would hate to intrude."

"Intrude on what, dear?" Anne asked, looking over at them. 

"Dan asked if I could come with you t visit Levi. I don't want to impose, but I'd like to be with Dan."

"Of course, Phil. You wouldn't intrude at all, you're family. It's fine with me so long as Liz doesn't mind. She might need you home."

"Mum? Do you mind?" Phil asked, directing conversation toward his mother. She sipped her tea before speaking.

"Of course not, honey. You know I don't mind." She said, giving him a silent look that told him to be respectful, to which of course his nodded. 

"Well, I suspect we best be on our way. We could stop for some flowers and maybe some dinner afterward." Peter said, now standing and grabbing his coat. Everyone joined and shrugged on their jackets and shoes.

"Bye, mum. Love you." Phil said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

\---

The four stood at the cemetery now, looking over lot with a tombstone that read "Levi Dylan Howell, beloved brother and son, 1995-2013" and Phil noticed small print etched into the stone that said "rest as stardust." Phil smiled despite the veil of sadness draping the moment in black.

"I guess I'll go first." Peter said as he clutched the flowers. "Levi, you were my first son. You've meant the world to me since day one, and will continue to do so until my last. Today marks three years since you were taken from me, from us. So many chances were taken from you that night. Chances to love and laugh and go to college and succeed. There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss you, but it's getting easier. You last forever in my memory. I love you."

By the time he was done with his speech, everyone was in tears, even Phil who never even knew Levi.

"Levi, it's mum. I just want you to know that I miss you and I love you so much. You'll always be my baby boy, sweetie. What happened wasn't your fault and it wasn't fair, to anyone. Not to you or Dan or your father and I. Levi, we miss you. There's not a moment when I don't wish you were here." By this point, Anne was sobbing and her voice was breaking, stuttering her words. Peter pulled her into his arms while she cried.

"It's just not fair! I-I... Why did th-this happen?" She said finally, crying out to the world. They stood quietly, excepting the occasional sniffs and whines, looking over the grave. Phil could hear Dan's teeth chattering as the cliché English rain poured down on them, their salty tears mixing with the fresh precipitation.

"Shh." Phil said, pulling the shivering boy into him, wrapping two arms around Dan. Soon, the crying dulled and both Dan and his mum pulled away.

Peter looked to the two teenagers, "Dan, do you have anything?" 

He nodded and reached into his coat, pulling out a letter, encased in a sandwich bag. He had been up half the night, his mind muddled with memories of the accident and Levi. Not wanting to wake Phil, he had taken the liberty to write to his brother. 

"Would you like someone to read it?" Anne asked quietly. He shook his head, opting to kneel down and lay it over the grave, grabbing a rock as a paperweight.

"That's good, son." Peter said, helping Dan up and pulling him into a hug, one that was much needed.

"Phil, do you have anything to say?" Anne asked as Peter stooped over to place the bouquet of white daises and red tulips down neatly atop of Dan's letter.

Phil bit his lip and looked at Dan, who wore curly brown hair and teary eyes. He nodded at Phil, almost in a begging manner, telling him to say something, anything.

"Okay, um... Levi, I never met you, much to my disadvantage. I would've loved to know someone as great and loved as you. What happened this day three years ago was a mistake and the universe should be sorry for taking someone so special." Phil said, choking up himself, his words getting stuck in his throat.

"And I know you loved Dan and you cared for him dearly." He continued, despite of his tears. He didn't feel like he had the right to cry and to be sad when he never knew the boy, especially with Anne and Peter and Dan here. It felt unnatural and wrong, but even so, he couldn't contain the tears streaming down his face as he continued to speak.

"So, I promise you, Levi, that I will take care of him and protect him. I-I promise you that I will be here for him because you no longer can." He choked out, reaching to wipe his tears. He couldn't help but think of how foolish he was being, taking away from Dan and his parents feelings with his own blubbering, but that feeling vanished once replaced with Dan leaping into his arms, feeling the boy burry his head in Phil's chest. 

Anne joined in, along with Peter, six arms now fully encasing him. Phil no longer felt foolish, quite the opposite as a matter of fact.

"He would've liked you." Peter suddenly said and Phil nodded, smiling like a fool in the rain. He basically just earned the ultimate approval from Dan's dad.

"I would've liked him as well." Phil whispered.

They left the cemetery shortly after and went to get lunch, stopping at a local McDonald's as they were too wet and soggy for nicer dining, not that anyone minded.

"I'm glad you invited me. You all allowed me into a deeply personal moment and I..." Phil said, trailing off, sipping at his cola, before resuming. "I don't really know, actually. Just... Just thank you."

Anne and Peter spoke their replies of "you're welcome", basically going unheard when Dan leaned over and tapped Phil's shoulder, grabbing his attention and then grabbing his face, pulling him in by the cheek for a breathtaking kiss that spoke all the words Dan couldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yiggity yo im back and flu-free which is pretty rad 
> 
> basically i can't think of anything important to say but man am i excited to update bc tbh ive missed you guys and it's so nice to give you guys new chapters
> 
> anyway i love y'all and my phone is at 13% so i gotta blast
> 
> much love x


	23. Swing Sets and Gloved Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my lord these titles only get worse IDC
> 
> also v short but i needed to get something out
> 
> ALSO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PHILLY   
> ヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ﾉ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay a few things
> 
> 1) I apologize for this being a while. It shouldn't become a habit, don't worry. I just legitimately had no time to write.
> 
> 2) oml i really missed you guys while I wasn't updating. I texted my friend and I was like "lord i need time to write because i miss the fam"
> 
> 3) *getting serious for a moment but you should probably read this*
> 
> okay so it was brought to my attention (by an anon so idek who) that saying "I hate trigger warnings" was apparently offensive. Now, to clear a few things up in case I offended anyone else, here:
> 
> In no way was I saying that I don't care about people who suffer from mental illnesses. I care very deeply about the matter and them. And I think that if a story contains graphic things such as self harm, rape, murder, or death, then yeah, you should put a warning.
> 
> Some people, however, warn you about everything. I've literally seen "hamlet" be listed as a trigger warning. 
> 
> I think, though, that putting a trigger warning also gives away the story. Like, maybe the most climactic thing is major character death and while horrible, I don't want to give away the whole story.
> 
> And I think you can tell when something starts to happen? If the story is starting to mention self harm, then you can notice where it's leading without needing a warning. When you see it starting to go down hill, scroll past or close the browser.
> 
> Idk that's just my opinion and I know that this day and age, opinions are lethal and horrible, but I'm not and wasn't trying to force it upon you. I'm merely stating it and going on. 
> 
> So, no, I don't think I'm narrow minded, or I at least try not to be. 
> 
> Again, sorry anon and sorry everyone else, but even I put a trigger warning just in case on the last chapter.
> 
> 4) I hope that cleared some things up! now enjoy this completely too small chapter and have a good day!! :*

Visiting Levi with the Howell's had really opened Phil's eyes. He'd always known that life was short, but for the first time, he really understood just how short. Living eighty years is a good, long life, but not really all that long if you think about it. And not everyone gets that many years. Babies pass everyday without even a chance to live. Even Levi only had nineteen years. He'd missed so much.

Phil didn't know when he'd die. Maybe today, tomorrow. Maybe seventy years from. But as he sat at the Howell's kitchen table, eating shreddies with Dan, he realized that he'd never have enough time. He'd never do everything he wanted. 

And that was okay. That was life. There would be regrets, dreams, and memories. Phil realized something else, though, while staring into the distance and continuing to chew at his mushed cereal.

He didn't have time to waste. He didn't have time to wait for tomorrow. He had to go after his wants now because today was the only today he would ever get.

"Dan." He said rather abruptly, and louder than he intended, causing the boy to jump and dribble out a little milk. He looked up and cocked his head to side as he wiped his chin.

Phil smiled, one that reached his blue eyes and made them glint. A contagious smile that soon spread to Dan's lips as well.

"I have come to a conclusion." He stated. "And that conclusion is this; life is short. Too short. It doesn't matter how many years you get because you'll never have enough.

"So, why not make rash decisions and jump the gun? Why not do something instead of waiting for it to happen? Why should I waste time waiting when I'll never get that time back?"

Dan's eyebrows furrowed and he nodded, agreeing, waiting for Phil to continue.

"Daniel James Howell, you are my sun and my moon and I can't live without you. I'm tired of testing the waters because the water is fine. I don't want to wait any longer, so I'm asking you, Dan. Will you be my boyfriend?"

There was no hesitation from Dan, who was immediately nodding, hair flopping around like a mop. He was grinning wildly and his eyes were the size of the moon. He wasn't shocked, as they'd already admitted their feelings, but rather extremely happy.

"Yeah?" Phil asked, smiling in return. 

Dan nodded again, this time gentler, standing up and kissing him deeply, tasting of milk and cereal.

Yeah.

\---

After becoming officially official, both boys decided to take a stroll in the park, as the sun was actually out today. Still bitterly cold in late January, but sunny.

They walked hand in hand, even with their gloves on, putting two layers between them. 

"We should go on a date sometime. Like a real date. To a nice restaurant or something." Phil suggested, as they neared the playground. Dan nodded and smiled, and then looked all too eager to run to the swings, but held himself back. He looked rather antsy, to which Phil chuckled.

"Go on, then. I'll push you." Phil said. Dan giggled and pecked his cheek, running off the playground.

Phil followed closely behind, thinking of how lucky he was and being glad for his thirty seconds of insane courage. 

He reached the playground, chuckling when he saw a sigh that read "for children 12 and under" because Dan was totally twelve.

They spent the next few hours swinging and sliding and acting like totally children, enjoying each others company and laughter, especially when an angry, middle-aged mother scolded them for being a bunch of delinquent teenagers playing on a playground. That was especially funny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I know it took y'all a total of 3 minutes to read that chapter bc it was so tiny and my notes are actually longer, probably, but anyway, hello.
> 
> *if you didn't read the first note, then please do bc I explained some things and hopefully fixed my mistakes*
> 
> I'm all typed out and my dog is alseep on my lap and I need to go marathon d&p and then write another chapter for my other story so...
> 
>  
> 
> have a good day  
> bless you all  
> merry phil's birthday  
> eat cake to celebrate  
> i love you all  
> enjoy the weekend  
> much love  
> x :*


	24. Sweater Paws and Classy Restaurants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lol I did some research of nice restaurants in London and this was the first one I found so I went with it and idk much about it or anything so I was vague and tried my best but maybe Google was wrong and I made a few mistakes but y'all just pretend with me, alright?
> 
> alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a long time again and I'm so sorry. you can bet that I'm ashamed and disappointed with myself but I'm sorry! so don't hate me and here's this cute chapter and love me I apologize
> 
>  
> 
> I was actually pretty busy with school and other oneshots and stuff but yahknow how that is

Phil huffed and he straightened out his thin black tie, which lay flat against his short-sleeve button up shirt. He wore black skinny jeans and his matching converse, and Phil had to admit, he felt pretty snazzy. 

"I know that it's only noon, but it's chilly out and will only get colder. You look nice, Philip, but get a jacket." Elizabeth suddenly spoke, standing in the doorway of the bathroom where her son was currently fixing his hair.

"I will." Phil said, pulling his straightener down one final stroke before running his hand through it and situating it across is forehead.

"You look lovely, honey." Liz said. "Now, shoo. I need to get ready for work." Phil sighed and looked at her.

"You're always working." He whined. "You won't be home when I get back, will you?" Elizabeth smiled sympathetically.

"I'm sorry, dear. It's just hard, you know. Your father is off a lot, and I know he sends money back, but it's difficult to put two kids through uni, and you'll be going soon, as well. I'm having to pick up all the shifts I can to help."  She explained. "I really hate it, too. I'd love to be home with you more."

"It's okay. I understand. It just sucks sometimes." 

"Well, I'm off tomorrow and it can just be a day for us. Mother-son-day, if you will." Liz offered. Phil smiled and nodded, pulling his mother into a hug.

"Definitely. Can't wait." He said with a bright smile, one that emitted sunshine and light up the room. 

He soon left on his journey to Dan's, most of his birthday savings in his wallet. Phil was taking Dan to a pretty nice restaurant in London. A classy Chinese restaurant called Hakkasan Hanway Place. They'd have to take a bus there, but it shouldn't matter.

When he arrived at the Howell's, Peter opened the door and smiled, claiming that Dan would be down in just a minute. It all felt very stereotypical, like they were cast in some film or characters in a teenage romance novel. Phil admitted to himself, however, that it felt nice and he liked it.

And just like prom in all the cliché highschool romance movies, Dan descended down the stairs in slow motion, giving Phil all the time in the world to notice all the small things about the boy. 

They were dressed similarly from the waist down, black skinnies and black shoes, Dan's, being Vans in lieu of converse. His top half, however, was covered delicately in an oversized gray jumper, creating adorable sweater paws. His hair was actually wavy, instead of the normal straight or natural hobbit hair. It suited him nicely, and caused all the breath to escape Phil's lungs. 

Dan's tongue darted out past his lips, wetting them nervously. He seemed oblivious to his own beauty, almost anxious about it. His head cocked to the side and he gestured to his body, seemingly asking if he was dressed appropriately.

"My goodness, Dan. You look stunning." Phil breathed out, temporarily forgetting where he was at or who was there or even his own name. He was lost in the boy's beauty.

Dan blushed deeply and looked down, almost embarrassed by his own gorgeousness, while Phil stood entranced by it.

"Alright, boys! Pictures." Anne suddenly announced, her digital camera fastened on her wrist, hanging lazily from the band.

"It's not even a special occasion." Phil said with a chuckle, moving to stand by Dan anyway.

"Oh, nonsense, Phil! Every moment is a special occasion." She said, already snapping a few pictures. One of them where they weren't even paying attention, but instead looking at one another, which was definitely a keeper.

"I think you say that, but you just use that as an excuse to take pictures." Peter interjected, walking up behind his wife and placing a loving hand on her waist.

"Possibly." She said, grinning back at him. 

\---

Pictures soon ended and the boys were on their way to the bus stop, hand in hand. 

"I'm, uh, sorry, you know. For having to take the bus, and all." Phil mumbled under his breath as they boarded the crowded bus, luckily finding two seats together, and sat down. Dan grabbed his hand and smiled, obviously not caring.

"You're sure it's okay?" He asked worriedly as the bus started moving, jolting them a little in there seats. Dan pulled his phone out.

It's perfect. You're perfect. Stop worrying. x

"No, you're definitely the perfect one." Phil said with a grin, squeezing the boy's hand affectionately.

About half an hour later, give or take a few minutes, the bus lurched to a stop and slid it's doors wide open, letting people escape into the busy city.

Dan cocked his head to the side, looking to Phil with a questioning glance. The raven-haired teen smiled.

"It's a surprise, Mr. Hobbit Hair." He said with a laugh, bumping his hip into his boyfriend's, emitting an adorable giggle and a smile brightened Phil's world.

They stopped soon in front of a fairly fancy Chinese restaurant. Dan read the lettering above the door, and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head. Hakkasan Hanway Place was pretty pricey. He'd heard that the cheapest meal was like, £41. 

He quickly slid his iPhone from his pocket and typed to Phil, claiming how expensive this was and how he'd have been just as fine was a cheap hamburger or something.

"Nonsense. Let me treat you. I've had money saved from birthdays and babysitting for neighbors." Phil said easily, opening the door to the restaurant. "Besides, you deserve it."

"Hello! Welcome to Hakkasan Hanway Place. My name is Katy." The woman - Katy - said. "Do you have a reservation?" 

"Yes, actually. Two for Lester." Phil said, looking back and throwing a wink to Dan, causing the boy to blush. He wouldn't admit it, but his tummy did flips when Phil had placed them both under his last name.

"Of course. Right this way, gentlemen." She said and led them to a nice booth. Dan was taken back by the design of the place. It was all very classy.

"A waiter will be right with you." Katy said with a smile before leaving. 

The waiter came and went, taking their orders and then bringing their food. Honestly, Dan hadn't known what to order, wanting to stay fairly cheap, but it was hard to do when the cheapest was £41. Phil had told him to get whatever, so he'd ended up closing his eyes and letting his finger stop on something. Abalone and chicken shumai is what his finger landed on, and it turned out to be heavenly. Phil had went with a weird sounding choice of Chinese chive dumpling with prawn and crabmeat, which ended up being actually really good, and Dan would know because he kept stealing bites from his plate.

"This is nice." Phil said contentedly, sipping at his cola. Dan grinned and nodded, pulling his phone to type a message. He got about halfway through when some middle-aged woman walked by and scoffed.

Phil looked up at her and furrowed his eyebrows. "Um, excuse me? Is there a problem?"

"Actually, yes. There is." She sneered, and Phil noticed two kids trailing behind her, both looking around the ages of four and six. "It's your whole generation that's the problem. No one can seem to spend ten minutes without their face in some phone.

"I mean look at you," she went on, gesturing toward Dan's phone that was placed neatly in his hands. "You both are at a nice restaurant and you can't even enjoy your time together because you're too busy checking your twitter or playing angry birds or something. How messed up is that?" 

Phil was shocked, to say the least. Well, shocked and angry. He didn't understand how someone could be so awful, and when he looked to Dan, he grew even angrier. There sat his boyfriend, his mouth open in surprise, and his eyes growing wet with tears. Phil clenched his jaw to remain calm.

"Excuse you?" Phil spat. "You have no right to stand here and scold us. I'll have you know that my boyfriend here is mute, and that's how he communicates. So, you're saying that even though he can't talk, we might as well just throw away any chance that he has at communicating?"

The woman looked shocked now, her cheeks heating with embarrassment. She quickly shook her head.

"W-well, no. That's... That's not what I'm saying at all." She stuttered out.

"Well, maybe, and this is just a thought, maybe you should take into consideration that things aren't always what they seem to be, and your words have consequences. Instead of just going on your merry way, you had to stop and fuss at my boyfriend and hurt his feelings for something that he can't help." Phil said, and he didn't even feel bad for the amount of guilt that he was tripping this woman with. Dan was almost in tears, and she needed to know what she had done.

"You're totally right. I'm very sorry." She said, now turning to Dan. "And I'm terribly sorry to you, as well. I hope you both enjoy the rest of your date, and I'm sorry for causing a problem." Phil turned to Dan once the woman left, noticing that his eyes were clear now, but held a touch of sadness. He handed over his phone and the elder read the message displayed on the screen.

I'm sorry. It's my fault for causing the scene.

Phil looked up, surprise in his eyes, "Dan, baby, no. What are you on about? You don't have to apologize."

Dan shrugged and looked down, fiddling what was left of his food. He felt ashamed. Phil reached a hand over and held the brown-haired boy's chin, pulling his face up.

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't look away." He whispered. "Nothing that just happened was your fault. You didn't do anything and you haven't ruined our date, if that's what you're thinking." Dan nodded at Phil's little speech and smiled, feeling a bit better. He made Phil put up with so much, and he just hated to cause a problem.

"Besides, I think she's hit the menopause." Phil said, lightening the mood, feeling a thousand times better when he caused the beautiful boy in front of him to erupt into a fit of giggles.

The rest of the day progressed on and soon, they were standing at Dan's front door, and Phil planned on making this as cliché and romantic as possible. 

He grabbed the boy's hand and pulled it up to his lips, placing a single kiss on his knuckles. The gentle, affectionate gesture has Dan blushing like crazy.

"I had a great time with you today." Phil spoke, still holding the harm, soft hand in his own, brushing his thumb across the skin. Dan nodded in response, agreeing with a smile.

"I'd better get going. Text me, yeah?"

Dan nodded.

"Good night."

And then Phil leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Dan's lips, leaving him wanting more. A blush spread across their cheeks and Dan grinned mischievously before raising up and kissing him harder then before, more desperate than before. 

They broke apart for air, their lips red and their eyes lightly glazed over. Phil had never been one to believe in fireworks or anything like that, but he felt something, call it butterflies or whatever you want, whenever he was with Dan, and that meant something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO
> 
> IT IS I
> 
> ALEXANDER THE GREAT
> 
> jk 
> 
> he's been dead for ages
> 
> so, I'm gonna try real hard to update quickly and not be MIA for 10 days again so wish me luck
> 
> alright, it's nearing valentines day and im gonna be alone but I hope you guys have a special someone *wink* but if you don't, that's perfectly fine because ... LET'S BE ALONE TOGETHER WE CAN STAY YOUNG FOREVER
> 
> okay that was smooth af fall out boy reference you're welcome
> 
> much love (and comment)


	25. Bad Days and Blueberry Muffins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its been a while and then I come back with this?? y'all gonna kill me in my sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back from the dead like Dean Winchester XD
> 
> Jk I've been alive the whole time, but we've been off school for weeks due to crap weather And while that's a blessing, its a curse to my writing. You see, I'm usually busy at home, so sittng down and writing is a rare occurrence, so my writing time is at school during free class time and the bus ride home. Without that, I don't have time but luckily, I pulled this through today and here you are

Weeks had passed since the date at the Chinese place and things had been going very smoothly. The awkward getting-to-know each other phase had been skipped completely due to their friendship and it was definitely appreciated by both boys. There was less worrying and fussing over how to act around the other.

It was mostly the same, really, as they'd always been pretty affectionate. The only difference was the increase in kisses and make out sessions. A very welcomed difference, it was.

But even several weeks of pure honeymoon bliss couldn't ward off arguments or fights. And, boy, was one about to spring up like a speed bump to an unsuspecting driver who was barrelling down the highway like a bat out of hell.

It all started when Phil woke up on the wrong side of the bed with an irritating crick in his neck and an attitude to match.

"Philip, wake up! Anne invited you over for breakfast." His mother had shouted at him from the outside of his room, waking him from his restless slumber. He groaned and mumbled some snarky comment. He was never a morning person, but today, he especially wasn't. 

The sun seemed too bright and the soft noises from downstairs seemed too loud and everything just generally seemed all too annoying and Phil knew it was not going to be a good day. 

He padded against the too-cold-for-his-bare-feet floor and pulled the curtains tight to shield himself from the poisonous sun. Normally, he'd have cherished the warm glow and happily spent his day basking in it, as the weather was usually not so cheery, either spewing down rain or just overall sending out gloomy, gray vibes. But even the rarity of a nice, sunny day couldn't pull him from his irritated mood, if anything, just encouraging it. 

"Phil!" his mother rang again, causing him to wince at the sharpness in his ears. Couldn't he just spend his morning alone in his bed? 

Obviously not.

"I'm up!" Phil yelled back, mumbling a 'christ' under his breath. He struggled to put on his clothes, finding his jeans especially tight and bothersome and his flannel all too itchy. He ran a hand through his hair frustratedly, not even caring enough to fix it any more, then wiped his eyes blearily before descending the steps.

He sighed once he made it downstairs, catching the unwanted attention from Elizabeth. Sometimes he had bad days, like any normal person, but all he wanted was to lock himself away from the world. Mostly because the sight of humanity irritated him, much like everything else when he was in his moods, but also partly because he always ended up upsetting someone with his rude comments and bad attitude, not that he ever meant it; he just didn't have much of a filter at times like these.

"What's with all the huffing?" Liz asked with a chuckle, sipping some fresh tea while looking up from a book.

"Nothing." Phil, well, huffed. He rolled his eyes at how he was forced into interaction. Sometimes he hated being human. Dogs and cats had it much easier. "What'd you need, anyway?"

"Well, Oscar the Grouch, good morning to you, too." She said, poking his side jokingly. He remained still. "Anne invited you over for breakfast. She said she hasn't seen you in ages."

Phil sighed. He'd just seen her last week, and while he usually found her endearing, the thought of socializing had him retching with dread.

"What, do you not want to go?" She asked. Phil wiped a hand down his face.

"Honestly, not really." He said, his voice a sigh.

"Not even to see Dan? Why is that?"

"I'm just having a day." Phil explained. "Nothing against them at all, of course." He got up, however, and headed toward the door.

"Guess I'll stop by for a half hour or so. Just to be polite." He said with another sigh, and that seemed to be the only thing he was doing today. He pulled on his galaxy jacket and braved the too-sunny March weather.

An uneventful ten minutes passed and Phil couldn't possibly hold off the inevitable any longer, so he knocked on the door and then just let himself in because, honestly, neither the Howells or himself particularly cared.

"Hey," was all he could manage to say, putting on a fake smile and greeting both parents. 

"Good morning, dear." Anne said, while Peter just nodded. Perhaps he felt the same as Phil, overall annoyed with humanity. "I've made blueberry muffins."

"Oh, thanks." He said, catching one midair as the woman tossed it toward him. He sank his teeth in and nearly had a heart attack at how soft they were. So, so much better than store-bought that his mother would bring home sometimes.

"Welcome." She hummed, then paused and looked Phil over. "Is there something the matter?"

"No."

"You seem a bit off." She observed. And by off, she meant not as happy and bouncy and overall Phil-like.

"Just a bit tired, is all." Phil lied, giving a blatantly false smile off, one that he knew she knew was fake. "Where's Dan, anyway?"

Maybe his favorite person could pull him from his mood. 

"Just woke up with a sore throat. I think he might be coming down with something." She informed.

"Ah, right. I'll go check on him." He said distantly. No matter how hard he tired, he couldn't seem to properly function like a human. His moves were too robotic and his voice was too void of emotion. And despite his irritation for everything, he was actually too annoyed to show it and came off sounding like a monotonous drone.

"No kissing!" Anne warned jokingly, but with a hint of seriousness behind it. Phil nodded and threw back a fake chuckle, praying to god that it sounded genuine and not forced, even if it was.

Phil jogged up the stairs while finishing off his muffin and rounded a corner into Dan's room, looking in and finding a huddled up body under a duvet. He smiled a bit and walked across the floor.

"Hey, Danny. Heard you're feeling under the weather?"

The boy turned and poked his head out enough to nod. He made grabby hands and Phil sat beside him with an internal sigh. As precious as Dan was, he probably wouldn't get away for a while.

"M'sorry you feel poorly, Dan, but I should probably be heading back." Phil said, starting to slowly stand. Dan shook his head with pouty lips and yanked him back down. He reached for his phone and typed sleepily.

No. Stay.

"I would, but you're feeling ill. I'd hate to bother you." Phil said, and it was mostly true. He still felt very aggregated and honestly didn't want to cause a problem with Dan, but said boy was having none of that, his fingers already typing on the screen.

It's fine. Stay. 

Phil sighed and nodded, settling back down beside the boy. He loved spending time with Dan, but sometimes he needed a break. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Isn't that what they say.

"You need your rest to get better, though. You should sleep." He mumbled. Dan nodded and with eyes half-lidded, he pulled at the black and white quilt, motioning for Phil to get under.

"I don't... It's fine, Dan, I'm okay." Phil said, but Dan fished for his phone yet again.

It's fine, get under. Aren't you cold?

"No. You've got a fever, is why."

Still, cuddle?

"Um. I seriously should get going..." And Phil knew then that he probably should've just sucked it up because Dan was physically sick but apparently he hated himself because he just kept on.

Dan looked kind of hurt, like a puppy that had just been kicked almost. He let out a breath and his eyes looked like they were welling with tears and it was probably because he already felt bad, but Phil just became so annoyed because why was Dan being so whiny all the sudden? He was seriously acting five.

"Don't look like that." Phil grumbled. "Why are you getting so worked up over this? Honestly, I just want to go home."

And, damn himself because where the hell had that come from? Oh, yeah, straight out of his ass because that's where everything was coming from today.

Dan grabbed his phone and typed his message furiously.

What's even your problem, Phil? I haven't done anything.

And Phil could hear the tone of voice in those words, even without hearing the voice itself.

"Like, hell you haven't. You're being so clingy and whiny." Phil shot back angrily and honestly, he hated everything right now because why was he being such a dick? He knew that he was taking this all out on Dan and he knew they sick boy didn't deserve it, but he couldn't get himself to stop.

Dan fired back his own text of: I'm sick! What do you expect from me?!

"Not to be so damn whiny. Being sick is no excuse."

Then what's your excuse, huh? For being such a dick.

"I'm not being a dick! You're the one being a spoiled brat."

Like, hell, I am. I merely want affection from my boyfriend while I'm ill!

"God, you're so... Ugh." Phil groaned, not even able to find the correct words, but Dan apparently could because he was typing away.

What the hell is your problem? You're never like this. Talk to me?

And it seemed that Dan was man enough to try and diffuse the situation, to try and solve the problem, even when he'd done nothing wrong and Phil would think that'd he would have enough balls to do the same, but, hey, sometime you surprise yourself.

"Well, you know what, Dan? Sometimes you're not the easiest to talk to." It came out as an exasperated sigh, as if Phil was so tired of having to deal with it. The words were said and meant in a way to hurt. They were daggers that went hurdling through the air and the aim was targeted straight for the heart. And they succeeded. The dagger-like words were sharp and ripped right through Dan's skin, lodging themselves right in his heart.

Dan was sick and tired and heartbroken, but he was not weak. So, with tears threatening to break past the barrier, he clenched his jaw and held his own. He grabbed his phone and typed slowly, as not to make a mistake and formed his words carefully.

If I'm so hard to talk to, then, maybe we shouldn't be together.

Phil had already stood up, rushing to his feet to emphasize his heated words, but the text displayed on the screen had him weak in the knees. 

And in that moment, Phil wanted nothing more than to fall on his buckling knees and beg for forgiveness while filling the room with a million apologies, but something deep inside of him, call it arrogance or stupidity, kept him standing.

Then, into the deadly silence of the room, he whispered words that he instantly regretted, words that made him hate himself, words than he never in a million years meant.

"Maybe we shouldn't."

And Dan's outstretched arm pointed him to the door and he followed it out of the house without a word, dread filling his gut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the wait, seriously. Like, I hate not being able to write. I'll try not stay away for another week but I can't promise anything with the weather patterns (snow and flooding is not your friend, kids).
> 
> Anyway, MAN CAN YO BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED? phil needs to get his shit together, but seriously, didn't expect that, did you? XD
> 
> lol what if they never get together again and phan is over forever?
> 
> who knows what'll happen
> 
> they call me Shakespeare bc I love tragic, unhappy endings
> 
> ANYWAY pour your heart out to me, and I mean, for real, lay your head on my shoulder and cry into my shirt and get it all wet and slobbery because I am HERE for you
> 
> much love :* and HAVE A GLORIOUS DAY (someone told me (and I won't say who in case they don't want me to) told me that saying this made them happy, and man, that makes me super happy, like I just love y'all so much and brightening your day brightens my day and I'm pretty sure I'm at my happiest after updating because I hear from you guys!)


	26. Sickly Fevers and Awful Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow I updated really quickly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> but I seriously hate everything about this chapter from the title to the ending and I'm sorry that its horrible but its just a filler I suppose

Shit. Shit. Shit.

What had possessed Phil to do that? Why would he ever be so mean? Especially to Dan? 

Oh, Dan. He must be so upset and sick right now and Phil should be cuddling him and making him chicken soup, not walking home from a fight with him.

It was colder outside now, as the sun had disappeared behind some clouds, but Phil couldn't care. Even as the chilly air whipped across his rosy cheeks, he couldn't care. He deserved this. He deserved everything that was happening to him because he didn't deserve Dan.

And now he didn't have him.

Had they actually broken up? They both agreed that they shouldn't be together, not the Phil actually wanted that now. But, agreeing meant that it was true, right?

There was no longer Dan and Phil. There was just Dan... And Phil. He liked the juxtaposition of their names, but now he's gone and messed this up. 

Dan had tried to fix things and figure out the problem, but Phil just wouldn't take it and made things worse. 

He soon found himself at his house and he let himself in. His mother was now in the living room, relaxing on her day off.

"You weren't gone long. And hour or so." She observed. Phil sighed and plopped down beside her.

"I messed up, mum. I screwed up." He groaned, throwing his head back in frustration.

"What happened?" Liz asked, and she sounded concerned because she was. It wasn't every day that her son would be so grumpy and then so seemingly sad.

"I'm a terrible person." He whined.

"Surely not, Philip. Now, tell me, what happened?" She asked.

"I went to Dan's and I was having a day, you know, and apparently Dan was coming down with a cold. So, naturally, he wanted to cuddle and stuff but I just wanted to come home and then we got into it and we had a fight." Phil rambled. He wiped a hand down his face and sighed. Sometimes he really sucked.

"Well, did you apologize?" She asked, resting her hand on Phil's thigh.

"No! I just kept going and he asked me what was wrong and I literally said, 'well, it's not like you're the easiest person to talk to, Dan!' And I just feel awful." He said, frustrated and sad tears starting to fill his eyes.

"I'm sure you hurt him, Phil. That really wasn't nice, especially given his lack of talking. That probably really hurt because its obviously something he's insecure about." Liz explained, and Phil really appreciated that he was fussing at him. His mum could take a step back from the situation and give unbiased opinions and it really helped.

"I know and I don't even know why I would say something like that. I didn't mean any of it and I love talking to Dan. He's the best." Phil sighed.

"I know, sweetie, but you were in a bad mood and took it out on him. Which isn't an excuse." She said.

"Yeah. I know. And then he said, 'if I'm so hard to talk to, then maybe we shouldn't be together.' And I didn't want to break up, mum, but I said that maybe we shouldn't and now I..." He trailed off, tears falling down his cheeks. God, he felt awful. Why was he so stupid?

"Phil, dear, shh. It'll be okay. You two care about each other too much to just break up. I suggest apologizing and working it out." Liz offered, but Phil shook his head.

"No, it won't work. He hates me."

But that wasn't the truth, either.

Dan was actually in the same boat as Phil; crying to his mum. He was only getting sicker and he'd already cried so much that he got a fever, but he had every intent of making a lake with all of his tears.

"Daniel, shh, baby. You've gotta tell me what happened so I can fix it." His mum coaxed, sitting beside him the bed. The same spot Phil had been. Before everything was shot to hell.

He tried typing up the events and through many misspelled words, Anne pieced together what had happened. She knew that Phil was having a bad day, but to take it out on Dan was definitely unlike him.

"Sweetie, listen, yeah? I think Phil was having an awful day, and of course that's no excuse, but maybe we should go talk to him tomorrow?" Anne suggested, fingers sliding through her son's fever-soaked, curly hair. 

'No. He hates me.' Dan typed out. He was still crying, but had mostly calmed down to just sniffles and watery eyes. It was probably because his eyelids were drooping with the sleepiness of a illness of a cold.

"Oh, honey, you know that's not true. You guys were best friends before you were together and you still are." Anne reminded him, but Dan wasn't having it. He seemed bent on the fact that everything was ruined and he wasn't good enough for someone like Phil.

'Don't you understand, mum? He threw that whole fit because he didn't want to be here and he didn't want to be my friend. Or my boyfriend.' Dan typed out wearily. He was drifting in and out of consciousness, but he was tired of his mother lying to him to comfort him. There's no comfort in lies. Not for long, anyway.

"Baby, I don't think you're right, but we'll talk more later, okay? You're fighting sleep, so just go to bed. I love you." Anne said, smiling as Dan nodded and puckered out his lips in a kissy face. She chuckled and bent  down, pecking her son on the forehead.

Dan soon drifted into a restless sleep, but he preferred the dead-like state over his conscious one because the latter hurt worse. 

Anne was left alone and heartbroken for her son. Of course she didn't hate Phil, but she definitely wasn't pleased with his actions. All in all, though, she didn't really know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments on the last chapter. There was so many and it was honestly so fun to read and reply to all of them (everyone was super shocked And stuff and I loved it oml). 
> 
> You guys are the best! ily and have a gooooood day :*
> 
> kisses and hugs and comment all your feels or just tell me about your day bc I love you guys.


	27. Heartfelt Apologies and White Teddies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my mama don't like youuu and she likes everyone
> 
>  
> 
> okay but im not even a fan of Justin Bieber but Love Yourself is such a good song and it has a nice beat and before you judge, go listen to the song bc its actually good ngl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this would've been out HOURS ago but I was in the middle of replying to comments and I was like, "mother mary on a bus these jeans are uncomfortable" so I put on some sweats and then started watching Fuller House which is a Netflix original series BUT it's the continuation of Full House and LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT WAS MY SHOWWWWW 
> 
> okay but seriously that was my favorite thing to watch 
> 
> BUT IM HERE NOW with a fairly long chapter (:
> 
> so without further ado, I give you a horribly titled chapter that I wish I could stop with this theme
> 
>  
> 
> :D

It was complete radio silence all week, static crackling between Dan and Phil. 

Monday and Tuesday had passed without a sign from Dan. It was obvious that he had skipped for his cold. But, the rest of the week rolled around and while Phil would sometimes see him in the hall, it was apparent that he'd been skipping all of his shared classes with Phil.

He was also MIA when the lunch bell rang through the school.

And by the time the weekend came around, Phil couldn't stand it. So, he got himself out of bed and got dressed at an ungodly hour on Saturday morning and shuffled down the stairs.

"You're up early." Liz said, sipping at her coffee. She was dressed in her nurse uniform and Phil inwardly sighed. She always worked. He felt sorry for her, honestly.

"I can't do this." 

"What? Honey, are you okay?" She asked, standing up, and checking her son over after his odd outburst.

"I haven't talked to Dan all week and it's eating me."

"You still haven't apologized?" She asked incredulously. "Anne called me a few days ago telling me how distraught Dan was. You can't possibly still think that he hates you?"

Phil sighed, his shoulders slumping, and said, "I mean, I did. It's just that, mum, I was so awful to him."

"Anne said that he was acting the same as when he first lost Levi." 

"God, that's terrible." Phil sighed and ran a hand down his face. "I've got to fix this."

"You think?" Liz asked, sarcasm dripping from her tongue. Phil smiled at her and ran to grab some money, opting to have him mum drop him off at the mall first.

Once he was there, he made a b-line straight for the florist/gift shop. Phil purchased a single red rose with all that decoration stuff that he didn't know the name of and searched the gift shop area for a teddy of some sort.

He ended up settling on this solid white teddy with an adorable sewn red nose and button eyes. 

Phil paid for both and headed to the sweets shop, where he ordered an overly large oatmeal raisin cookie because Dan was weird and actually like those.

And, God, just thinking about Dan made his heart wrench. How could he have been so stupid? He just missed the boy so much and he wanted him so bad. 

These gifts weren't to bribe him, but to show Dan that he cared and as he made his way out of the mall, his arms full, he gathered his words and tried to think of the perfect thing to say.

How could he even apologize for what he'd done because for a second there, he actually wanted to say what he did and he liked it? He wanted someone else to have a suck-ass day as well and he said everything in his power to make that happen. And it had worked. 

He had made Dan feel horrible that day, and for the rest of the week. 

How could he apologize for that?

All he could do was hope. And pray. And hope and pray that Dan would forgive him because, dammit, he was miserable.

It took Phil a good half hour to make it back to his place, but he kept going until he arrived at Dan's.

He knocked on that all so familiar wooden door and held his breath, awaiting someone to open it, and he didn't know who he'd rather open it. He was sure that Anne and Peter were pissed with him because, hell, he was pissed with himself. But if Dan opened the door, well, Phil didn't know if he'd be able to deal with what he saw.

What if Dan opened the door and he looked wonderful? Happy? Better without Phil? What if he had realized that he didn't need Phil at all? 

What would he do then?

Or, what if Dan opened the door and he looked awful? Torn? Broken? What if Phil had totally ruined him?

What would he do then?

The door finally opened to reveal Anne and Phil let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.

"Hi." He whispered out. He didn't really know what to say or how go act because he didn't know how Anne or Peter felt toward him.

"Phil." She stated and it wasn't very enthusiastic as usual, but wasn't aggravated either. More so monotone and Phil wasn't sure if that was better.

"Anne, hey. Um, I'm here to see Dan and I really need to." 

"I don't know if that's such a good idea. Daniel is pretty hurt." Anne said, her voice showing more emotion now. She seemed sad and disappointed in Phil, and that made him feel worse. 

"I know, I know. And I feel awful, but, Anne, you've got to let me apologize at least." Phil begged, and then gestured to the bag in his hand, "I've brought him stuff."

"Okay, I guess, but try and be..." She kind of trailed off and Phil felt even more hurt that she didn't trust him. But how could she? He was a horrible boyfriend to her son and made him hurt.

"Of course. I couldn't hurt him again. God, Anne, I'm so sorry." And by this point, Phil started crying, still standing in the chilly air with no coat and his hands full. "How could I have been so mean? I'm so sorry. I can't lose him, Anne. I can't."

Anne had snapped out of her anger and pulled Phil into the house, wrapping her arms around the cold boy, comforting him and shushing his tears. "Phil, dear, its okay. You guys are going to have fights and stuff like this will happen. Even if you're only friends or more, arguments will happen."

"Okay." Phil whimpered and he almost started crying all over again because, dammit, he missed Anne as well. 

"Stop beating yourself up, okay?"

"Okay." He repeated.

"Now, go up there and get your boy back." She said, and patted his butt as he started toward the stairs.

Phil headed toward the stairs with his heart in his stomach and his throat tight. His hands were clammy as he gripped the vase and the paper sack.

He took a few minutes to collect his breath and then rapped his knuckles against the door. Sucking in all the air he could, he said, "Dan, its Phil. Could you open up? Please?"

There was a groan and a sniffle, and Phil bit his lip as shuffling was heard on the other side of the door. "You don't have to..."

But, he did, and the door opened to reveal a highly disheveled Dan. His hair was unkept and he was only dressed in a big T-shirt and boxers, socks cladding his feet. His face was pale and his eyes brimmed with dark circles. His cheeks were puffy and tear stained and it made Phil was to pull him in his arms and never let go.

"I, uh... I came to talk to you." 

Dan shrugged and went back to his bed, burrowing under the duvet and closing his eyes. Phil walked in and set the rose down on his bedside table.

"I, um, I got you a few things." Phil said, standing beside the bed. Dab peeked his eyes open and nodded, letting Phil go on. "Well, some, flowers, you see."

Phil opened the brown paper bag, "I've gotten you a teddy because I know that you like soft, adorable things and you're soft and adorable and- here." 

Dan took the teddy from Phil's outstretched hand and pulled it to his chest, locking his arms around it. 

"I got you this cookie thing because you like oatmeal raisin for some reason." Phil said, trying to lighten the mood while handing it to him. Dan's eyes lit up at the huge cookie in his hand, but he sat it to side, next to his rose on the table. He played with the petals absentmindedly before looking to Phil. He nodded a thank you.

"You're welcome, but, Dan, I need to tell you something."

Dan grabbed his phone and typed, 'go on, then.'

"Listen, Dan, I made a huge mistake. I was having a bad day and I took it out on you and I feel awful. You didn't deserve that and I didn't mean a thing. I'm so sorry."

Dan stared at him, contemplating his words and deciding on his own.

"Please. Say something." Phil begged, bouncing nervously on the balls of his feet. He'd never felt so anxious before than waiting for Dan's reply.

'I don't know, Phil. I appreciate everything, I do, but how do I know you're not going to have another bad day and yell at me? I don't want to feel like this, Phil.' The message read and Phil sat down on the bed then.

"Dan, I won't let it happen again. As soon as I had opened my mouth and said those things, I regretted it. God, Dan, I hate seeing you upset and hurt and I'll never be the cause of it again.

"And I'm so sorry. I've hated myself for the past week for what I've done. Dan, you're all that's great in the world and I can't live without you."

Phil held his breath once he finished his little speech. How could he love with himself of Dan didn't forgive him?

'If you felt so awful, why hadn't you apologized sooner?' Dan's message asked and Phil nodded. It was a legitimate question that made him feel stupid once he answered.

"Honestly, I was certain that you hated me after what I had done. I thought that apologizing would only make things worse for both of us." Phil explained, eyes cast downward as he picked at a loose thread in the black and white duvet. 

"But, Dan, I've missed you so much and I'm miserable without you. You're literally my reason for getting up in the morning and I don't care how cliché that sounds because it's true, Dan. You make my life so much better."

The brown-haired boy sat quietly, and while it made Phil uneasy, he knew not to rush Dan.

"Before you say anything, Dan, let my just say that I know I messed and I know I hurt you, but I also know that I feel awful because of it and putting myself on the line right now and asking for your forgiveness because I'm sorry. I'm sorry and I miss you. And that's all I've got."

Dan smiled adoringly and tapped quickly on his phone. 'I forgive you, you spork. One thing, though.'

Phil grinned wildly and leaped onto Dan, placing a big, slobbery kiss on his cheek. "Oh, thank you so much. But, now, what'd you need?"

'Next time you're having a bad day, just tell me, yeah? I'll understand.' He typed and Phil nodded, saying "okay" and then he was pulled back down for a showering of kisses.

Phil ended up slipping his shoes and skinny jeans off and sliding into bed with Dan, where they cuddled and kissed and ate a stupidly large oatmeal raisin cookie.

And Phil felt happier now that he had his Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOVE ME BECUASE I FIXED ALL THE PROBLEMS
> 
> I had so many comments about how heartbreaking this was and I LOVED IT. hate to see y'all in pain, but I love to see you guys interested. A lot of the comments were actually really funny and/or sweet. 
> 
> and I know I say this every chapter but oml I just love you guys so much and I appreciate every comment no matter how short or how long and I always care. You don't have to comment about the chapter or even the story as a whole if you aren't feeling it. You can tell me about your day or your new favorite song or a cool book you've read or anything and I will value it like it's gold. 
> 
> I will value it like Kanye values money from his fans because I'm 53 million in debt.
> 
> But probably more because I care about y'all individually, so yeah. Comment something. Or don't if you don't feel up to it.
> 
> okay but now im gonna shut up bc I've got nothing left to say.
> 
> I love you all and have a good evening! :*


	28. Sleepy Eyes and Blue Balloons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> actually this is a bit choppy but overall I think its v cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU GUYS BUT IT WILL BE IN THE ENDS NOTES
> 
> AND I ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY RN SO ONWARD, SOLDIERS

A few months had passed, and Dan and Phil were going strong. Better than before, actually. They were inseparable, attached at the hip, glued together, or whatever else you'd like to call it. And if they weren't together, they were texting or skyping or thinking of the other.

Phil was pretty sure that he was in love.

Actually, he was certain.

Phil loved everything about Dan from his adorable giggle to his goofy grin. He loved Dan entirely and wholely.

There was only one problem, and that was: how did he tell Dan? Or should he not even bother? The last thing Phil would want is to make his boyfriend uncomfortable, or even possibly ruin their relationship.

What if Dan didn't reciprocate his feelings? He surely didn't want him to feel obligated to do so.

"Philip Michael Lester, up you go! You're going to be late to school!" Elizabeth yelled from outside his door, rapping her knuckles annoyingly against the wood.

"I'm already up and getting dressed, mum!" Phil lied, rolling over in bed and sighing. Maybe he would just wait and let his mind settle. He didn't have to tell Dan right away.

He'd just see how things go.

\---

Phil walked into the school with not only his backpack weighing him down, but his heavy mind. As he turned the corner, he couldn't help but notice the numerous posters littering the walls, almost all of them promoting the prom that would be held in two weeks. The theme was 'A Night Amongst the Stars' and as cheesy as that sounded, Phil would bet that the decoration committee would make it beautiful.

Seeing all the posters, though, reminded him that he still hadn't asked Dan yet.

Of course, they were already together and obviously they would be going with one another, but Phil knew that Dan was a sucker for the soppy stuff and would be super blushy if he was officially asked. And Phil couldn't resist making his boyfriend smile.

So, as he walked into Mr. Finnegan's history class and took his seat beside Dan, he was already swirling with ideas to make this perfect and cheesy and wonderful. Because Dan deserved it.

"Good morning." Phil spoke cheerily, looking at a sleepy Dan. He had his chin propped on his hand, his fingers curled over his mouth. His eyelids were drooping as he glanced over to Phil. He nodded, however, and let a small smile pull his lips.

"Tired, I see?"

Dan nodded again, eyes already closed. He picked up his pencil off the table and scribbled some nonsense about being up late watching kitten videos on YouTube.

Phil laughed and grabbed Dan's vacant hand that was resting on the table, playing with his fingers and drawing patterns on his palm. Dan smiled adoringly at him.

"You're cute when you're sleepy." 

\---

"Okay, so I need your help." Phil said as he sat down in front of Chris and PJ at lunch, his tray clanking against the table.

"With what, exactly?" PJ asked.

"I need to ask Dan to the prom, but it has to be special."

"Aren't you guys already dating?" Chris asked, eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

"Obviously." Phil laughed. "Where have you been?"

"Then why do you need to ask him?" Chris asked. "Obviously you're going together." PJ laughed at him and pushed his shoulder lightly.

"It's the gesture, you idiot!" PJ said.

"Yeah. Dan likes sappy stuff like this, so I need to make it special." Phil further explained. Sometimes Chris didn't really understand relationships, but it was endearing, really.

"I asked Hilly to our prom and it wasn't anything special. I literally just asked when we went for tea." Chris said, then looking to PJ. "Even you asked Hannah and it wasn't special either."

"That's because we're all going as friends." PJ said slowly, as if Chris was having a hard time grasping the concept, which he was. "Dan and Phil are together, so it's special."

"Okay, whatever. I'll pretend I understand."

"Good." Phil chuckled. "Now, how do I make this cute and rememberable?"

"Get one of those signs or something?" Chris offered.

"That's lame." PJ stated. "Dan needs something special."

"Hey! At least I tried." Chris defended. Phil nodded a thank-you and left it at that.

"I want to get him flowers, I know, but that's not enough." 

"How about some balloons as well? He likes those, yes?" PJ asked, sparking and idea within Phil's head.

"Wait. I've got it." He said with a grin. "Hannah and Hilly will have to help. And so will you guys." The other boys nodded and Phil spilled out all of his plans.

"That sounds good. We'll come over this weekend." PJ said and Chris nodded in agreement.

The conversation was interrupted by a tray clanking down and a body sliding in next to Phil. 

Dan smiled and waved, then quirked an eyebrow, asking what they'd been discussing. The three boys shared a look of panic before Phil blurted out an answer, followed by PJ and then Chris.

"Nothing."

"The Queen."

"Gay sex."

A look of skepticism appeared on Dan's face, while the others all shared questioning looks, especially aimed toward Chris.

Dan looked at his boyfriend and cocked his head to the side, asking again. They all exchanged answers again and Dan looked even more confused.

"We weren't even talking about anything important." Phil said, cutting off his friends before a third round of odd answers. "Just some show Chris was watching the other night."

"You got me." Chris said, putting his hands up in surrender. "I was watching gay porn and one of the men looked like the Queen."

Dan looked horrified, but shook his head and giggled at Chris. It was nothing unfamiliar for him to be weird or to talk about odd things, it was actually normal for them.

"Anyway," Phil drawled, placing a hand affectionately on the boy's knee. "How was your morning?"

\---

"Right, so you'll just take Dan out somewhere. A movie or something. It doesn't matter." Phil explained to Hannah and Hilly. "Then while you're gone, PJ, Chris, and I will set everything up."

It was Saturday now and everyone, excepting Dan, was at Phil's, discussing the plan. Everyone had their part and the raven-haired boy had never felt so excited.

"Alright, well, we'll be heading now." Hilly said, her younger sister nodding and then following her out the door. Phil yelled a 'thank you' after them just before the door shut and they started toward Dan's house.

Finally, once they received the text that all was clear, the three headed over to the Howell's and into Dan's room. Anne and Peter already knew the plan and were downstairs baking Dan's favorite cookies for him.

"Let's get to work, boys." He said, turning to his friends and throwing  a  pack of balloons to each. His friends had massive, knowing grins spread across their faces and Phil didn't know why.

"What?"

"You just really love him." Chris said, smiling with adoration as he opened the package.

"We can tell." PJ added, doing the same.

There was a beat of silence.

"I don't know how to tell him." Phil explained, opening his own package.

"It's okay." PJ said softly and they left it at that, beginning to blow up the light blue balloons.

The plan, you see, was to blow up enough balloons to completely fill Dan's room from floor to ceiling. And when he opened the door, he would surely be surprised.

An hour passed of blowing balloons and all three boys felt lightheaded. 

"Bloody hell," Chris cursed. "How are we going to get enough?" 

"Maybe we should go ask Peter or Anne to help." PJ suggested, falling against Dan's bed and panting.

Phil nodded and left to go ask, telling the boys to take a break for a minute.

"God, he's so whipped." Chris laughed, joining the curly-haired boy on bed, breathing deeply as well.

"Damn right he is." 

\---

Dan arrived home with Hannah and Hilly after a good two hour movie. It was some childish film, but Dan lived for those. 

Phil could hear him downstairs and he made quick work of hiding in the balloons with a bouquet of pink tulips in his hand. PJ and Chris were also hidden amongst the balloons, and Anne and Peter were downstairs in the living room, taking a breather now that all the balloons were blown.

"That was a pretty good movie, actually." Hilly said, almost surprised.

"Yeah, it was. Dan liked it, I know." Hannah mused, bumping her hip against the boy's. He giggled and nodded, waving a small hello to his parents.

"Are the girls staying for dinner?" Anne asked, looking back at the two sisters. The three teenagers shared a look and Dan nodded for them, wanting to have them over.

"Well, go on, then, kids." Peter said, ushering them to Dan's room and the silent boy found it odd because they usually all talked together or watched a movie. His father never rushed them way. 

"Yeah, maybe we can play video games or something." Hilly suggested, sending a discrete wink to her younger sister, who returned it with a wide smile.

Phil, still hidden in the sea of blue balloons, grinned happily at the interaction he heard downstairs. Dan had good people that cared for him and he, them. 

He heard footsteps traveling up the staircase and then against the wooden hallway to the room he was currently standing in. 

Suddenly the door opened and Phil could tell that balloons were flooding into the hall. He heard Dan gasp, putting a smile on his lips.

"Dan?" Phil asked, hearing the boy giggle and begin to make his way through the inflated jungle. Chris and PJ were laughing as well, hitting the balloons at each other and trying to find Hannah and Hilly as they had followed Dan into the fun.

Finally, after a good four and a half minutes, Dan stumbled into Phil's embrace, giggling and laughing like a little kid. 

"Hi." Phil whispered and Dan looked up, his breath fanning out against his boyfriend's face. His head cocked to side, silent asking what this whole thing was about. 

"Daniel James Howell," the blue-eyed boy started, his voice shushing the laughs of their friends. "You have honored me by being my boyfriend and that puts a smile on my face everyday. You're wonderful and amazing and all mine, and I'm the luckiest person in the world because of that."

Dan listened with interest, a small smile splayed across his lips as he absentmindedly bounced the balloons against his hands.

"So, I want to ask you, Dan," Phil continued, pushing the light pink tulips toward his boyfriend. "Will you go to the prom with me?"

The brown-eyed boy took the flowers and sniffed at them, almost like he was contemplating the offer, but soon looked up and rolled his eyes, nodding. And Phil could just hear him say, 'obviously, you spork.'

"Good, 'cause I'd be offended if you took someone else." Phil laughed, leaning down and kissing Dan once of the lips before pulling away. Dan shook his head and hooked his finger underneath Phil's shirt collar, pulling him back down for more.

Their lips pressed firmly against the other pair, dancing and slotting together in pure bliss, their teenage hormones already awakening.

They were progressing toward a full blown make out session when there was this loud pop sounding next to their faces. Breaking apart, they found that Hannah was the cause, standing there with a deflated balloon and a mischievous grin.

"PDA! PDA!" She screamed, emitting laughter from everyone.

\---

Later that night, everyone, including Anne and Peter, was sprawled across the living room with some movie playing on the television. 

Dan and Phil were laying together and the older would whisper sweet nothings into his boyfriends hair while the younger would type messages on his phone.

'thanks to you i'll have to sleep on the couch tonight bc my room is a mess XD' one message had read and Phil had totally meant to clean all the balloons away, but they all ended up playing Monopoly while eating cookies and then watching movies and now snuggling.

"You could sleep over at my house tonight and then we'll clean up tomorrow." Phil offered lazily, eyes focused on the screen but not really paying attention. The scent of Dan's green apple shampoo and the proximity of Dan himself had Phil in another world, one where they were the only two people and nothing else mattered. 

'okay' Dan's message said, the words scattering Phil's thoughts. 

And it was settled.

And Phil found it so amazing at how easy everything was. How easy it was to care for Dan and to be with Dan. How easy it was to get lost in his own mind when so close to him.

But, most of all, Phil was amazed at how easy it was to love Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so important news:
> 
> there's only 3 chapters after this. well, 2 actual chapters and then the epilogue. I just realized this when I was checking the outline for what was supposed to happen in this chapter and I nearly started crying when I saw that there's only 3 left because I'm really attached to this story, but I'm more so attached to you guys okay. As soon as I update, I obsessively check this website for comments for like, the next three days and I laugh and smile and get super happy when I'm notified for new ones. I've been commenting back and forth with a lot of you since the early chapters of this book and I feel comfortable joking with you and telling you guys things about myself and there's a lot of you that I know your usernames by heart and I constant look for your comments and get so excited to read them. I'd like to say we've all becomes friends and I'm actually sad because I don't want it to end. I don't want to never talk to you guys again. I've grown attached, okay? And I will MISS YOU GUYS.  
> this may sound pathetic but I love you guys and I don't know how to do this.  
> of course, im still writing my other story and a lot of y'all are on there, but its not the same and im actually scared because I've literally grown attached to a lot of you.
> 
> but of course, after this, I'll still be writing so hopefully some of you will join me on that too 
> 
> much love :*


	29. Starry Nights and Bow Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOU ARE NOT READY THIS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS SUPER VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ
> 
> 1\. I would just like to say thank you to everyone who has kept my step dad in their thoughts/prayers/well wishes. You have no idea how much it means to me to know that I've had this wonderful group of people supporting, not only me, but my family. I don't know how I got so lucky to have met some of you and be able to share these things with you. So, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I appreciate each and every one of you so so so much. I love you.
> 
> 2\. Actually regarding my dad (if you care), he was released from the hospital a few days ago and had been diagnosed with gastritis (inflamed stomach lining, I think) and some kind of infection in his esophagus. He got medicine and stuff and was starting to feel a bit better, but still really weak and tired. And then today I got home from school and our neighbors were here and after calling my mom (she works at the hospital that they took him to), it turns out that he had went outside in the back yard to do something and couldn't breathe and he literally couldn't make it back to the house. He called someone and they took him to the hospital where he's at now and they're doing more tests and stuff. I'm really worried and scared, so your support is still needed if you don't mind. After I read and replied to all the comments, I felt this surge of faith that things would be okay. So, again, thank you all so much.
> 
> 3\. I have been so stressed lately and I'm so sorry that this took a while to get here but writing helped take my mind off of things and I hope you like this because I really freaking tried
> 
> 4\. (This is just a short rant that you don't have to read) I AM SO ANGRILY SAD & its probably because I've got so much on my plate and a big long list of problems that I'm facing and I won't list them because I'm not going to bother any of you with my irrelevant delimas but I HAVE A C IN ALGEBRA AND IVE NEVER MADE A C IN MY LIFE AND I'M SO ASHAMED OF MYSELF but I blame it on everything that's been going on this past month and I'm v sorry for this but just knowing that you guys are here makes me a little bit happier, especially when I check in and read your fantastic comments
> 
> 5\. I just love you guys and I'm really gonna miss you guys after this so you really need to read my other stories once I write them so we can keep in touch (its not even self promotion, its just that I will MISS YOU ;~;)

Phil tapped nervously on the front door of the Howell's house, fiddling with his thin, black tie. He was wearing a tuxedo and he would admit that the black slacks felt oddly roomy, given the fact that he only ever wore skinny jeans. His tuxedo coat, though, kept him warm and looked nice over his white button up.

He'd also spent longer than necessary fixing his hair and even though it looks exactly the same as normal, he was proud of his handiwork.

Finally, the door opened and, much to Phil's surprise, it was Dan. Usually Anne or Peter would open the door, but he was pleasantly shocked.

Dan was dressed in a very similar fashion to Phil, the only real difference being a cute bow tie instead of a neck tie, and his fancy white shoes, as apposed to Phil's black ones.

He looked very nice, though, and it left Phil swooning and blushing because he just really loved the boy and thought that he was perfect.

"Pictures!" Anne said, rushing to pull them in the house. Phil laughed and rolled his eyes, stepping in the house for a good half hour of photos.

\---

They took a bus to London and met up with PJ, Chris, and the Hindi sisters at an Olive Garden for a relatively cheap, but decent, meal.

Hilly wore a gorgeous red dress that swept to her ankles. The top section was covered in sparkles, but the rest was just fabric. Her hair was curled and pinned back and her makeup consisted of a beautiful smokey eye and red lipstick. Chris, being her date, was dressed in a plain tux with a matching red tie.

Hannah was wearing a dress similar to her sister, but it was dark blue and stopped at her thighs. The top was covered in gems, and then the rest was fabric. Her black hair was curled as well, but it hung loosely down her back. She'd opted for cat eyes with light pink lipstick. PJ was in a tuxedo as well, but with a dark blue tie to match her dress.

Soon, a waiter came by to take their drink orders, but everyone knew what they wanted to eat as well, so they went ahead and ordered.

"I'm so excited." Hilly said after the waiter had left. Everyone nodded in a agreement before Hannah spoke up.

"I'm just glad that we're going with you guys. It wouldn't have been as much fun without you." She said sweetly, nodding at all of her friends.

Dan grinned at her and gave her an adoring look. 

"I'm just hoping the music isn't terrible." PJ said, and they all laughed because the songs played for school events were never particularly good.

"It probably will be." Phil said, and they all nodded because yeah, it will probably suck.

"I'm still excited, though." Chris said, and they all agreed. The food soon came after that and a casual conversation was struck between everyone, mostly about the food and how good it was. 

It was no Hakkasan Hanway Place, but it would do.

\---

When the group arrived at the school, they got their picture taken (once as a whole, and then in separate couples) and then made their way to the school's gymnasium. 

It looked completely different than normal. There were fairy lights strung out across the rafters, creating the effect of a million stars. There was picnic table at the far end with punch and snack, everything star themed as well. Streamers and balloons floated here and there and there was a huge disco ball, spinning in the middle of the room and reflecting light every where.

"Is now a proper time to panic?" Phil asked, pointing toward the disco ball. "I mean, we're kind of at a disco."

He snorted at his own lame attempt at a pun while Dan rolled his eyes and Chris pretended not to know him.

"C'mon! That was a good one." Phil whined. Dan shook his head rapidly while PJ yelled 'no, no, no, no' over and over.

"It really was awful." Hannah said after Phil looked to her for help. 

"Damnit, I just can't win." Phil pouted, but quickly straightened up when Dan leaned over and kissed him.

"Well, despite the awful music," Hilly said, already turning toward the floor. "Let's dance!" 

She tugged Chris to the floor, with PJ and Hannah following after. Dan and Phil shared a look before the latter spoke up.

"We'll be there in a minute! Gonna get some punch." He yelled after them. They nodded and started dancing. 

The two boys made their way to the snack table and Phil poured them some punch in a couple of red solo cups. Dan brought the cup to his lips and sipped at the fruity liquid, tasting a weird concoction of normal fruit punch but with a lot of pineapple. He didn't really favor the latter, but drank anyway.

"It looks nice." Phil stated, looking around the room at the decorations and the mass of sweaty, dancing bodies. "Everyone looks nice, as well."

Dan nodded and smiled, following Phil's eyes everywhere.

"You especially look nice." Phil stated, turning to the boy with a smirk. Dan blushed and shook his head, gesturing toward Phil instead.

He was going to deny Dan's compliment and turn it back on the other, but he soon found himself being pulled onto the dance floor.

He saw a lot of people grinding against each other, but Dan was a classy lady and decided to swirl and twirl around under Phil's arm.

And Phil felt it again. The strong urge to kiss Dan and profess his love because damnit, he loves this boy that's slow dancing with him to some stupid rap song and for some reason he's pretty sure that Dan knows every word because his lips are moving, but just barely and it's almost like he wants to say something, but Phil ignores it, not wanting to draw attention to it and upset him.

And all of the sudden, Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran comes on and the entire gym erupts into small cheers and Phil doesn't miss the breathtaking grin on Dan's face and he smiles too because he fucking loves Dan.

They slow dance throw the entire song, along with everyone else. They're pressed impossibly close and Phil is pretty sure that Dan can feel his increasing heart beat, but he doesn't care. He loves this moment and he loves Dan.

Finally the song ends and Phil excuses himself to the bathroom, partly because he drank too much fruit punch and partly because if he doesn't catch his breath, he's going to scream that he loves Dan and he doesn't want it to be here. He wants it to be private and between them, not shared with their entire class.

Making his way back into the gym, he walked beside the DJ and recognized him from the music shop downtown. He was around thirty and was pretty cool.

"Hey!" Phil said, and they soon started talking, but only for a bit because he had places to be and people to be with.

"Before you go, man." He said, stopping the teenager. "Do you got a request?"

"Fall Out Boy." Phil said. "Anything will do. My boyfriend is a huge fan." 

And with that, he grinned and left, throwing a thank-you as he left. The guy nodded and smiled. By the time Phil made it back to Dan, the intro to Centuries had began and Dan squealed, somehow knowing that Phil had done it. It could've been the raven-haired boy's shit-eating smirk or the wink that gave it away.

Phil felt that urge rising up into his throat again, but he swallowed it back and smiled, grabbing his boyfriend's hands and dancing him around. Dan giggled and pulled Phil closer, kissing him softly before dragging him over to their friends, where they all began to dance goofily.

"You request this?" Chris asked, and Phil nodded, then received a high five. 

The DJ, who was actually very nice, played a few more Fall Out Boy songs throughout the night and it was probably because he knew Phil, but Dan loved it and he was happy, which made everyone else happy. Because it was damn hard to be sad when you've got a giggly Dan that just wants to twirl like a fairy princess.

A few more hours of dancing and eating snacks passed and it was nearing the end of prom. Dan was really tired out and had spent the last half hour just swaying with Phil basically holding him up. 

It was hot in the gym and everyone was sweaty, but Phil didn't mind having Dan on top of him, especially since his hair had started to curl at the ends.

"There's an after party that some dude is having back at his place." PJ said, basically yelling over the music. "We're going. You in?"

Dan looked up at Phil, his eyes already heavy and shook his head. Phil smiled lazily at the sleepy boy and shook his head to PJ.

"Nah. Think we're gonna head back to mine. Thanks, though." Phil said.

"You sure? I heard it's gonna be a good one." Chris persuaded. Phil looked at Dan again who shrugged, willing to go if his boyfriend wanted.

"Thanks, but Danny-boy is tired and I'd rather just be with him." Phil explained with a smile.

"That's fine. You guys have fun." PJ said.

"But not too much fun!" Hilly said with a wink, before running off with her sister. PJ and Chris followed after them, throwing a goodbye their way before leaving.

Dan and Phil stayed for a few more minutes, slow dancing to one last song before heading to the bus station.

The night sky outside was sparkling with stars and even though they were barely visible with all of the city lights, Phil still thought they were beautiful. He thought that Dan was beautiful, too. Breathtaking, actually.

And there it comes again, that almost vomit-like need to throw up his feelings. They were alone and this was perfect, but Phil couldn't do it.

He didn't doubt his feelings for the boy, but he was scared and couldn't handle rejection.

"I had fun tonight." Phil said, looking over at the brown-haired boy and linking their hands. Dan's lips parted and he licked over them, before closing them and opening them again. He resembled a fish, but Phil ignored it, opting to not notice.

"You're really pretty, you know?" Phil said again, trying to keep his feelings at bay.

"Gorgeous, really, and I..." Phil stopped himself again because what if Dan didn't feel the same? Should he say it, anyway? Would Dan hate him?

Dan looked at him and cocked his head, asking him to finish.

"Nothing, I'm just glad you came with me." Phil said and Dan nodded before the bus pulled up and took them away.

\---

When they finally returned to Phil's, they got comfortable in pajamas, Dan having his own drawer now.

"Kill Bill?" Phil asked, already sliding the DVD into the player. Dan scoffed and rolled his eyes, nodding with a small smile. He lied down on the couch, only raising up when Phil went to sit down, then laying his head on his lap.

The movie played on and they paid minimal attention to it, having watched it a hundred times already. 

Phil noticed that Dan kept taking big breaths and then opening his mouth, before huffing quietly and closing his lips. He would've asked what was the matter, but decided to let Dan alone.

The movie ended an hour later and Dan, previously tired, had caught a second wind. He was wide awake, but not giggly like earlier.

And then, into the stillness of the night, a voice soft, crackly, almost inaudible broke the silence shakily, shocking both of them.

It was hardly even heard, but it reached both of their ears in a stuttered, fragile fashion, that sounded desperate and strained, but was welcomed and beautiful, nonetheless.

"Phil?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> didn't expect that one, did you? *evil laughter*
> 
> i am actually expecting a bunch of shocked comments? pour your tortured soul out to me, you Edgar Allen Poes (what even are my notes anymore?)
> 
> BEFORE YOU COMMENT
> 
> I had the best idea while showering
> 
> HOW ABOUT IF YOU HAVE A STORY ON HERE OR WATTPAD OR ANYWHERE ELSE, BE IT PHAN OR WHATEVER YOU'RE INTO, YOU SHOULD LINK ME TO IT orrrrrr TELL ME WHERE IT'S AT AND WHAT IT'S CALLED AND ANY OTHER INFORMATION ABOUT IT & then I'll read it and I'll comment a whole bunch and probably fall in love with it and then we'll be a little family that reads each others stories and if I super duper love it, I'll probably tell EVERYONE to read it because it's just that good and you deserve it so yeah (lol no one will probably even do this cry) but I thought it was a pretty snazzy idea and I don't even care what the story is about because I'd read it anyway
> 
> So yes hit me up if you want
> 
> Much love and tell me your feels 
> 
>  
> 
> I love you so much :*


	30. Happy Tears and Bruised Lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sexy times ahead, friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello you beautiful people. :) fancy seeing you here, am I right? 
> 
> okay, so this is the last actual chapter, but DO NOT FEAR there will also be an epilogue. So that should be up whenever I write it.
> 
> ALSO there will be TWO VERY IMPORTANT THINGS down in the end notes, so watch out for that. 
> 
> also also, for those who were praying and keeping my step dad in their thoughts, thank you! He got out of the hospital a few days ago and has been doing better and recovering. He feels a lot better as well and that's really great. Thank you all for being with me during this time. You have no clue how much it helped to get on here a read your comments when I was sad about my dad. It really helped. 
> 
> and for those of you who I didn't mention this to in the replies, I brought my algebra grade up to a B like TWO DAYS before the end of the term. Ain't no C gonna be on my report card. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this chapter because it's almost 3k (minus like, 200 words)
> 
> (:

"Phil?"

The raven-haired boy's head whipped to the side, eyes wide and jaw slack. Had Dan just said that? Surely not. He couldn't. Well, he could, technically, but he wouldn't. Or would he?

"Oh, my - Dan? Did you just? You didn't." Phil said, shocked. He grabbed his boyfriend's shoulders and pulled him closer, their faces almost touching. He whispered softly, "Dan?"

The once tired boy had caught a second wind and giggled quietly, nodding. He opened his mouth again to speak, nothing coming out on the first two tries.

"Go on. You can do it." Phil said encouragingly. He knew it had to be hard to go for almost three years without speaking, and then all the sudden try to talk. His voice was weak and unstable and was giving out after not being used.

"I... W-want you t'know." Dan started, taking a huge gulp of air. Talking all of the sudden seemed to make him short of breath, as if he'd forgotten how to use breath control when speaking. But, that's probably what had happened. 

"What is it? What do you want me to know?" Phil said quickly, and he was so sure that he knew, but he kept quiet, his heart hammering away in his chest. He was sure that it was beating so hard that it would break through his ribs, but it stayed nestled in its place.

"I l-love yo-u." Dan said confidently, and despite the stuttering, he was sure of his words. Phil lost it then and there, tears flooding his eyes and spilling over, hot water streaking his cheeks.

"God, Dan, I love you, too. I love you so much and I wanted to tell you for so long, but I was so scared. I love you so much." Phil said, still crying happily. Dan leaped at him and kissed him like crazy, and Phil didn't miss a beat.

The kiss was watery with tears and spit and their teeth clanked together at times, but it was perfect and neither of them would've changed a thing.

"Wait," Phil said, pulling away. Dan looked confused and cocked his head to the side. "I... I forgot to tell you that you're beautiful."

Dan rolled his eyes and shook his head, but Phil dropped his hands to the boy's thighs that were placed on either side of his own.

"No. Listen to me." Phil said. "You're absolutely gorgeous, Daniel. And I want you to always know that. Everything about you, from your curly hair to your cute little toes are absolutely beautiful. I'm so amazed by you, and you deserve the world."

"I love you." He whispered, not trusting his voice anymore. He'd already wore himself out with talking.

"Your voice is so beautiful. I've never heard anything prettier." Phil said, and he meant that with every fiber of his being.

Dan's eyes glossed over with tears and he smiled, leaning in to kiss him again.

There was a certain fever between them, burning hot desire and love that washed over them, spreading throughout their entire being. It enhanced their senses and made everything better, hotter, wetter.

Then Phil felt it. He knew he wasn't mistaken when he could feel the firm bulge pressing into his hip, and he knew that Dan could feel his own pressing up into his thigh.

He stalled against Dan's lips, wondering just how far this was going to go. They'd never had sex, and yeah Phil had thought about it, but he never wanted it until he knew Dan was ready. Dan was a virgin, and Phil was as well, but he was pretty sure it was a bigger deal to his boyfriend than himself. Of course, Phil wanted to be with the right person, but he'd never been too worried about when he lost it.

Dan noticed and pulled back, his lips spit-slicked and kiss-swollen, which did nothing for Phil's downstairs situation.

"Wh-what?" Dan croaked out, barely audible.

"I mean, just, we're kissing and stuff and that's nice, like, really nice, but what do you want? I mean, you had to have noticed," Phil paused, gesturing to their lower halves. "and, I mean, I noticed. Trust me, I really noticed."

Dan looked down and giggled at how hard they were. Who knew just a little bit of kissing could result in this? I guess, it's perfectly understandable for hormonal teenagers.

"Basically, I just want to know where this is going. I'm fine with anything, but I'm not pushing you into something, Dan. I mean, is this too much?" Phil asked again, nervously. He didn't really know why, though. They'd already confessed their love and they were happy together, but Phil felt like fainting when Dan was so close, especially this close, and he wanted him closer (and also naked), but he was unsure.

"You." Dan whispered softly, staring Phil in the eyes with such intensity and lust and love and desire that it had Phil going crazy in his head, both of them, really.

"What?" Phil asked, and now it was his turn to stutter.

"You," Dan tried again, having to suck in more air. "That-that's what... I want."

Phil didn't even have time to respond because their lips were already connected again and he almost choked on his own tongue - or Dan's, for that matter - because his boyfriend had started to slowly grind against him, their clothed bodies pressed tight.

"Shit, Dan." Phil mumbled against the boy's lips, his hands finding their way to his hips to help with the grinding, while Dan's arms were wrapped around Phil's neck, fingers tangled in the black hair.

Phil was impossibly hard, and going by the erection pressed into his hip, so was Dan. And more so than anything, Phil really didn't want to have sex on the sofa because one, this should be more romantic, and two, staining the couch would not do anyone any good.

He broke apart from the kiss, his hands already working their way under Dan's pajama shirt (that actually belonged to Phil). The pads of his thumb began to stroke across the skin on his hips when he finally caught his breath to speak.

"We should go up to my room." He suggested, watching Dan nod, his red lips parted and wet. The boy got up and grabbed Phil's hand, pulling him up the stairs, giggles escaping his mouth.

The climb up the stairs was enough time for Phil to breath and cool down because he'd gotten so turned on that he'd almost came in his pants.

Once in the room, Dan was pushing the door shut and pulling Phil onto him, pinning himself between the two. 

"I love you." Phil whispered against Dan's lips before pushing them together. Dan moaned and worked his lips against the other's. 

After another few minutes of senseless kissing, they found themselves standing in the middle of the room, five feet between them. 

Dan had looked at him shyly through his eye lashes and said, "We sh-should... Do it tog-gether."

Of course Phil had nodded in agreement because he'd do almost anything for the boy and that leads them to why they're basically reenacting the first sex scene of The Notebook.

Phil pulled off his shirt and dropped it to the floor. He wasn't too embarrassed about it, but mostly because he was trying to be the brave one for Dan, who was very shy and self-conscious about his body.

"We don't have to." Phil reminded. "I mean, you're gorgeous and I love you and you have nothing to be shy about, but we don't have to do anything."

Dan shook his head and started pulling off his shirt, "I t-trust you."

Phil's eyes raked over his boyfriend's bare chest and smiled adoringly. Dan was absolutely stunning, with his curly hair, wide brown eyes, and soft skin stretching over his cute little belly which curved out ever so slightly, creating a tiny pudge.

"Gorgeous." Phil said, raising a blush from the boy's cheeks that spread down to his neck and tinted his chest pink.

The blue-eyed boy pulled down his sweat pants first, feeling them puddle at his ankles before he kicked them away. Dan followed suit, his breath held tight in his lungs as he exposed his legs.

They were left in their briefs, both worried about being inadequate, but Phil pushed it aside.

"Together?" He asked, hearing an audible sigh of relief from Dan before seeing the boy nod. Phil smiled and started to count down, their hands already placed on their waistbands.

3... 2... 1...

Both pairs of underwear came down, revealing the great beyond that both were wary about. 

"Shit, Dan." Phil said again, for the second time that night, eyes scanning his boyfriend's glory. They were about the same size, Phil could figure, seeing as with an erection, both almost reached their stomachs.

"Y-you're really p-pretty." Dan whispered quietly, a blush still flushing him red, and Phil couldn't hold back anymore. He closed the space between them, connecting their lips and walking Dan backward until his knees hit the bed, collapsing them onto the mattress. Phil raised up quickly, however, to fish for some lube in his bedside table while Dan situated himself in the middle of the bed, waiting for Phil to return.

The kissing grew more heated as Phil's hands traveled south, scanning all across Dan's body until he reached his dick. 

"You're precious." Phil said against his lips, beginning to stroke Dan slowly. The boy let out a choked groan at the feeling and his eyes shot open, staring into Phil's blue ones.

Phil popped open the cap and poured a generous amount onto his fingers, settling himself between the other's slim, long legs.

"D-damn." He mumbled, his hips starting to stutter as Phil's pace started to increase on his member. Phil's eyes flicked to Dan's, asking again if it was okay, and then slowly inserting a digit when Dan nodded.

"Have you ever done this before?" Phil asked casually, both hands busy working on Dan's body. He'd seen porn before and had a pretty good idea of how this worked, but he knew this would be easier if Dan had experimented with himself before. Of course, that didn't erase the fact that the curly-haired boy was tight as hell, which was a good thing, especially on Phil's part, but it also made him worried that he would hurt his boyfriend.

"A f-few times." Dan nodded and whispered breathlessly, pausing. "Ne-never felt... This go-od."

Phil grinned and added a second finger, scissoring the boy open slowly and sensually. He'd ceased his hand movement on Dan's dick, after said boy had told that he wasn't going to last.

Phil pulled his fingers from Dan and wiped the excess lube on the bed, deciding that now was not the time to fret about bedsheets.

"Are you sure?" He asked again, looking at Dan intently. The curly-haired boy nodded and smiled, and Phil noticed the thin layer of sweat covering his chest.

"I love you." Dan whispered hoarsely, his voice really starting to give out. "A-and I want y-you."

"Okay." Phil nodded, grabbing the lubrication bottle again. "I love you, too." 

"Do we need a condom?" Phil asked. He knew neither of them had any diseases, as they were both virgins, and obviously Dan couldn't get pregnant, but maybe said boy would be more comfortable with one.

Dan shook his head, though, and Phil nodded.

He popped the cap and poured quite a bunch into his palm, before stroking himself a few times to slather the lube onto his dick.

Dan let out a breathless moan at the sight, causing Phil to look up with a grin.

"Like that, yeah?" He asked seductively, and then ended up laughing because he sounded foolish. Dan giggled too, shaking his head at the boy.

They got serious again soon when Phil asked one last time if everything was okay, to which Dan nodded and rolled his eyes, mumbling something about getting on with it.

Phil lined himself up with Dan's entrance, his left hand resting on said boy's hip, and the other hand ready to guide himself if needed. It started slowly and once the tip was in, he could hear Dan suck in a gasp of air. Phil looked up, worried, to see a pained expression on his boyfriend's face, but when he tried to stop, Dan told him to continue.

They both knew that it would hurt the first time, and Dan would probably be sore in the morning, but Dan wanted this, and so did Phil.

Once the blue-eyed boy bottomed out, his eyes briefly closing in pure bliss, he moaned out, "Shit, Dan."

Dan was impossibly tight around Phil's cock, and it took a lot of self control not to come right then and there. 

After a good minute of not moving, allowing Dan to get used to the feeling of being stretched open and full, Phil started his pace again. It was slow and aching for the both of them, but he didn't want Dan to be in any pain.

"Go." Dan suddenly said, pushing his hips back, after three minutes of painfully slow movements. Phil nodded and pulled almost all the way out, pushing back in faster than before. 

With every thrust, he angled his hips differently until he heard a choked gasp and a throaty moan, indicating he'd found Dan's prostate.

"F-fuck." The curly-haired boy said from below, his hips jerking in pleasure every time Phil brushed against that bundle of nerves within him.

"So fucking hot." Phil groaned, moving his right hand up Dan's body, fingers trailing over his stomach, then his chest, across his arm, finally stopping at the other's hand, and clasping them together, fingers interlocked.

Dan felt good. Great, actually. He was pretty sure that every time he blinked, he could see the milky way, but maybe that was just Phil thrusting in and out of him. It was probably the latter, but Dan felt too good to care, his hips grinding back against his boyfriend's thrusts.

Phil felt a familiar heat pooling in his abdomen and maybe it's been an embarrassingly short time, but this was his first time, and by the sound of Dan's mantra of "unh, unh, unh," he was pretty sure that said boy was close as well.

"T-touch... Me..." Dan groaned out hoarsely, hips rutting up into the air. Phil nodded and pulled his right hand from Dan's, reaching to snake his slim fingers around his dick.

Dan grabbed blindly for Phil's left hand, needing a clutch to ground him to Earth, or else he was pretty sure he'd fly off into space with how high he felt.

Phil started stroking Dan in time with his own thrust, flicking his wrist as he would push in. Dan was on a whole other level by now, floating in oblivion, and Phil was right there with him.

So, with one final thumb swipe over Dan's tip, and one more push into his prostate, said boy came hard, shooting white strands all over Phil's hand and his own stomach. Phil followed shortly, pushed over the edge by Dan's moans and the dirty, filthy 'O' his lips seemed to form.

Phil collapsed on top of Dan, and then rolled over, breathing heavily. They were both covered in a sheen layer of sweat, their eyes drooping tiredly, but a lazy smile splayed over both of their lips.

After a second to catch his breath, Phil stumbled nakedly into the bathroom, subconsciously thanking the heavens that his mum was working the night shift. He grabbed a washcloth from the closet and wet it in the sink, taking it back to his room. 

Dan was half asleep as Phil wiped him down and cleaned him from the residue of their extracurricular activities, pushing a few stray hairs from his face in the process.

He tossed the rag in the floor and climbed in the bed with Dan, pulling the duvet over them both and pulling his boyfriend into his arms.

"Dan?" He whispered quietly, checking to see if he was still awake. He knew the boy was wore out, and had been hours ago at the prom. 

"Mm?" Dan hummed, or maybe he said something, but it wasn't coherent. He did, however, look up at Phil with half-lidded eyes. 

The blue-eyed boy smiled down Dan, wondering how he got so lucky to be holding this truly amazing, beautiful human.

"Why'd you decide to talk tonight?" He asked slowly, figuring that he would get a half incoherent answer, but asking anyway.

"Needed to... Tell you," Dan mumbled out into Phil's chest, pausing to yawn. "I love you."

It was a simple answer, but held more meaning than anything anyone had ever said to Phil. And even after Dan went to sleep, Phil smiled at those words.

"I am completely and utterly in love with you, Daniel James Howell." He whispered into the silence of the room.

And Phil had never spoken truer words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY  
> WE ARE HERE TO DISCUSS A FEW VERY IMPORTANT THINGS  
> SO LISTEN UP
> 
> 1) A LOT OF YOU FOR SOME REASON WANTED TO FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA WHICH IS PRETTY COOL BUT I'M LAME SO DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP. but here is a list of where to find me.
> 
> Twitter: @Simply_Undead_  
> Instagram: @simplyundead  
> Wattpad: @simplyundead  
> Tumblr:  
> music appreciation blog: @snazzy-tunes  
> supernatural/destiel blog: @say-yestiel-to-destiel  
> phan/dan&phil blog: @sillyphillylester
> 
> I POST ON LIKE, NONE OF THESE. I just retweet on twitter and hardly post on Instagram. I have NOTHING on wattpad (that might change) and I just reblog on Tumblr.
> 
> 1-1/2) I was kinda thinking about maybe making a twitter/Instagram/maybe something else/maybe everything idk account just for my stories where I'll say when I update, if there will be delays, or new story ideas but like I said, kinda thinking about it idk.
> 
> 2) as you know, this story is reaching it's end (sob) and next chapter will be the epilogue (sob) BUT after that I will post this great big author's note (which you will seriously need to read) and that note will be a permanent part of this story. I'm not deleting it. 
> 
> WITH THAT SAID, the author's note will consist of my new story ideas, praise to y'all, possibly recommendations of stories that I'm really digging, anything else that I decide to put in, and (this is where you guys especially come in) QUESTIONS/FEEDBACK FROM Y'ALL
> 
> EXPLANATION!:  
> if you have a question or something you need to say about the story, you need to send that in. You can just have it in your comments if you comment on this chapter, but you'll need to say "I want this part on the story," or, "this is my question" AND IT WILL BE FEATURED/ANSWERED ON THE AUTHOR'S NOTE.
> 
> Okay, I feel like I didn't explain that very well so here's an example comment:
> 
> ~hey! I enjoyed this chapter :) actually, though, I have a question regarding the story that i would like answered on the author's note! Here it is: "will there possibly be a sequel?"~
> 
> AND SO I would take that question that they wanted on the author's note and answer on there for everyone to see, that way, everyone's questions get answered and it also clears things up for people wondering the same thing.
> 
> If you just have feedback that you want on the story, here is an example comment:
> 
> ~i would like this feedback to be featured on the author's note! "this story is wonderful! :)"~
> 
> So, then I'd put that (what's in quotations) in the story and tell who said it (by their username/name they signed in with).
> 
> Basically, if you have a question or something to say about this story, tell me in the comments or on a social media and put what you want said, in quotations (",") so that way I know what to put on here.
> 
> THE QUESTIONS CAN BE ABOUT ME & MY LIFE, THIS STORY, FUTURE STORIES, OR THE CHARACTERS
> 
> as long as the comments aren't rude & hurtful (constructive criticism is allowed, but it must remain constructive), they will be answered/featured on here.
> 
> OKAY THAT IS ALL  
> If you have any questions about the author's note thing OR questions/feedback to put on the author's note thing, LEAVE A COMMENT OR SEND A MESSAGE ON ONE OF THOSE SOCIAL MEDIAS ABOVE
> 
> I love you all and I'm emotionally unstable that the end is near
> 
> goodbye, friend :)


	31. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is the end  
> this is actually the end
> 
>  
> 
> what the hell am i supposed to do with my life now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, this is actually it. I'm beyond happy to have come this far and have you guys with me along the way, whether you've been here since chapter 1 or you're just finding this now. Everyone one of you are important to me and to this story and that's why I'm also sad, because I'm letting this go.
> 
> I'm not gonna get too emo rn because that's what the big ol' author's note is for, which is coming up soon so if you have any thing you want forever included into this story (be it feedback/review or a question about the characters/story/or me) then you need to be getting that in rn. There's been a good amount already, but definitely more is welcomed. I love having you guys interactive with the story and/or me!
> 
> (Pretty sure my grammar in that last paragraph was not on key, but hey, it's not like I write stories everyday and should know this hahahahahahaimawful)
> 
> But yes, the Grand Slam Author's Note (that's what I'm calling it yes ik im genius) will be up either VERY late tonight or sometime tomorrow, so if you have last minute entry things, that needs to get here. You can message them in the comments or message me on either Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, or Wattpad which you can find in end notes of the PREVIOUS CHAPTER.
> 
> I love all of you so much 
> 
> also this isn't v long bc there's not much you can put in am epilogue?? or I just suck
> 
> probably the latter
> 
>  
> 
> now cry with me...

Two years later and Dan and Phil are almost done with their first year of university. High school graduation was fun and freeing, but university had been a smack in the face. Neither were accustomed to the real world, not having their parents breathing down their neck, or no one to make them do things they hated but needed to get done - going to awful classes, being an example. Of course, that was a plus, but being responsible for yourself had proved to be more difficult than either thought.

It was scary, but a lot less so with each other. They rented an apartment on the outskirts of London, which was only a few minutes away from Uni. 

Phil is pretty sure that it's better than the dorms because he's visited PJ and Chris, and it's about as big as their apartment's living room. 

They also get to decorate their apartment as much as they like, and it's basically every nerd's dream, but it's home and they love it.

Dan had been talking more over the past couple of years. He's still very quiet and if he can, answers in gestures, but he's still getting better. He reached out a few weeks after first talking to Phil and spoke to his parents.

Both Anne and Peter cried. Even Elizabeth cried when Dan talked to her.

Phil sometimes catches Dan singing in the shower when he thinks nobody can hear. Phil never mentions it because he doesn't want it to stop, but he loves it more than anything. He can hear how happy Dan is and he never gets tired of his boyfriend's voice. Maybe it's because he's in love with the boy or perhaps it's that Dan has a wonderful sound. 

The blue-eyed boy can't help but sit and wonder about their life sometimes: how far they've come, how far they'll go, how he wants to be with Dan every step of the way.

Life is better than either of them could have imagined. He often finds himself referring to Dan as his little miracle.

Their relationship and apartment aren't the only good things to happen, though. Phil is happy with just about everything in his life, even his studies.

He's going to school to become a psychiatrist. He wants to help people who've been through things like Dan. Phil wants to help children and teenagers learn to trust and be healthy again.

He's pretty sure that even though Dan hates Law, the boy is happy. He's switching his major to something else next year. He's mentioned music, but he's not for sure yet.

Even Peej, who's getting a degree in film and directing, and Chris, who's taking acting classes, are happy. Thrilled, even.

Hannah and Hilly are still in Manchester, studying at university there. They're both getting their general education in, but they've got a pretty professional YouTube channel on the side until they figure it out. They make really good parodies of popular films and shows and it's been a pretty big hit on the internet.

Phil is proud of how well everyone is doing. He's proud that they're all growing up and doing things that make them happy. 

The raven-haired man is snapped from his happy daze to the sound of their front door opening and closing. Dan must be home from his classes. Phil grinned and rushed to stand up, fixing his white button up and thin, black tie.

He wasn't as well dressed when he took Dan to prom, but he looked fancy enough, even with his black skinny jeans and high top converse.

"Phil?" Dan called as he walked through the house, checking both of their rooms, and even the kitchen, before walking into the lounge.

"What's all this?" He asks, eyes scanning the fresh bouquet of roses on the table. They were a crisp crimson red and there was a little note against the vase that read 'DAN, the love of my life.'

Phil just smiled goofily at him before walking to a music dock, and pushing play on his phone that sat firmly in between the speakers.

"Can't Take My Eyes Off You" covered by Muse erupts into the room, filling the space with the feeling of a summer love.

"Are you being serious?" Dan chuckled as Phil walked up to him and took him by the waist, starting to sway back and forth.

Phil grinned and nodded, only opening his mouth the sing along, "You're just too good to be true. Can't keep my eyes off you."

Dan giggled and blushed, letting the man sway him. 

Phil wasn't the best singer, and he definitely wasn't Matt Bellamy, but he wasn't ashamed to sing in front of Dan, especially when singing to him.

"You'd feel like heaven to touch," Phil sang, spinning the boy outward, and pulling him back in when and holding him in his arms when the next like sang, "I want to hold you so much."

They slow danced to the song while Phil sang to him softly, and he was surprised himself at the fact that he didn't sound totally awful.

The song drew to an end as the last verse came through.

"I love you baby, and if it's quite alright. I need you baby to warm the lonely nights." He sang, spinning Dan under his arm like a ballerina. The boy giggled and laughed, becoming dizzy, but he was too happy to care.

"I love you baby, trust in me when I say. Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down, I pray." Now, Dan was spun back into Phil's arms, his back against the man's chest. The raven-haired boy's arms wrapped tightly around the Dan's hip, squeezing softly at 'pretty baby.'

"Oh pretty baby, now that I've found you, stay. And let me love you, baby, let me love you..." Phil sang the last line, still holding Dan even when the music turned off, just feeling the warmth of the man against his body.

"Do you believe in miracles, Dan?" Phil asked softly in his ears, feeling the boy nod his head, the soft, brown hair pressing in his cheek. He continued, "Because I do. And I believe that you're my miracle."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGAIN, QUESTIONS AND/OR FEEDBACK/REVIEWS ARE DUE BY LATE TONIGHT/POSSIBLY TOMORROW IF YOU'RE LUCKY SO IF YOU HAVE 'EM, SEND 'EM.
> 
> alsooooo im really sad this is over idk how to feel
> 
> gonna go drown myself if buzzfeed videos until my eyes are numb


	32. Grand Slam Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a great big post about probably everything and anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't answered the comments from the epilogue but I swear that I will get to that soon I'm just v busy rn and wanted to get this up

*man pal buddy chum friend if you haven't read the story, do NOT read this yet okay*

The biggest of thank-yous go out to each an every one of you who read, commented, subscribed, or even just left a lovely kudos on this story. I appreciate it immensely and I realize that I have thanked you on every chapter, but no amount of thanks will ever be enough.

Not only did you guys stick with story, but you gave me motivation and inspiration to continue writing more and more every day.

I never thought that this story would amount to anything, or even get more that 20 views. I figured that I would end up deleting it and never finishing it, but having all of these wonderful comments left made me want to continue this and now look where we are; the end of the story.

It's crazy, really. That I wrote an entire story and tbh I don't think it's all that bad. Like, of course it's not absolutely perfect, but it ain't to shabby.

And because of this story, I've got to meet so many of you wonderful, beautiful, hilarious souls! I follow you guys on social media and talk to you guys and I just love you all.

I mean, you've all been not only supportive of this story, but me as well! And that's insanely awesome. You guys stuck with me even when I was struggling with things and again, I could never thank you enough.

But, I'm getting really sad bc I will miss this story and you guys so much oml. Like, this little version dan and phil is special to me. They are my children, my darlings, and now they've grown up and moved out??? ;~;

ANYWAY - before I bore you all to literal death, I will move on toooooooooo...

*drum roll*

YOUR REVIEW/FEEDBACK  
*claps from all over*

• "this is way much more than your typical Phan high school AU. All of the feels!!! 8/8" ~ EmmytheFangirl

• "This was the most fun I've ever had reading about high school. And cute teenage Phan." ~ LittleMaya

wow im crying thx guys uwu

NOW ONTO THE QUESTIONS!

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BOOK/CHARACTERS!

* "How does the future look for Dan and Phil? Are they gonna stay together? Get married? What will their uni life be like? What will their jobs be? How many children will they have?" ~ LittleMaya

Great questions, wow! I think a few of these were answered in the epilogue, but they were sent in before that, so I'll answer the ones that weren't.

1) I think the future is gonna be very bright, so they'll probably need to invest in some *snaps* shades  
2) they're together in the epilogue still and I haven't really thought about it after that and I wouldn't want to say anything anyway in case there is a sequel...  
3) again, I shouldn't answer this bc IF there is a sequel, I wouldn't want to wrongly say anything.  
4) I feel like Uni would be a good time overall, but obviously a lot of stress and maybe other bumps in the road??  
5) Philip dear wants to help people and Dan wants do something artistic and musical so idk  
6) IF they had children, maybe 2 at the most idk

THANKS FOR THESE. GOOD QUESTIONS FOR REAL! x ily

* "will there be a sequel?" & "why did Dan stop talking?" ~ NO PLS NO END (that's what was filled out, but it's not an account)

1) tbh idk for sure yet. I've been thinking a lot about whether or not to make a sequel, and I think that I would definitely want to bc I love this squishy d&p, BUT the problem is what it would be about. I have a few ideas, but they're not really full ideas- just little smidgens of ideas that don't really go anywhere yet. All I can say is, only time will tell.  
2) I think this is discussed in an early chapter. I think it's chapter 12, but just in case it wasn't explained clearly (that is a fault of mine), I will briefly summarize: Dan and his big brother were driving home one night and had a wreck. His brother, Levi, died on impact, but Dan was only injured. Dan was in shock when they found him and he now suffers from low grade PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and stopped talking ever since. (Tell me if that's not adequately explained, I'll message you and talk about it in much greater detail)

BEAUTIFUL QUESTIONS, THANK YOU! much love x

* "seriously, will there be a sequel? I NEED IT." ~ hayhey

Again, idk for sure. I'd hate to write some crappy sequel that won't live up to this story. That would make me v sad.

THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTION! ily

NEXT -

QUESTIONS FOR THE AUTHOR (that's me hello)

* "boo how are you??? How is ending your 30 chapter long fic feeling on your lil sinner heart?" ~ QueerlyCute

ty ty great question. actually im v sad about it. but, like, a good kind of sad. that kind of I'm-proud-that-it's-complete-but-sad-that-it's-over sad.

* "how long have you been writing fanfiction? Do you have any tips, as you have inspired me to want to start!" ~ my_science_babies

1) if I remember correctly, I published my first fanfiction in 2013 around January and then I've been writing ever since. I guess it's actually not that long, but it feels like it's been my entire life lolzor.  
2) oh man oh man I suck at advice hhhhhh. Okay, here is a few things.  
• if you have trouble with grammar and the actual format of a story, just look at other books. I recommend like actual professional books you get at the library, though, bc sometimes online authors make mistakes and we don't catch it all the time.  
• just don't be afraid to mess up. Not everyone is Shakespeare and you will make mistakes and probably write crappy sometimes and you won't always feel 100% confident in everything you post/write, but never let that hinder you from continuing bc you'll only get better with practice, so don't stop! Seriously, if you look at my first story (which is not on here bless), you'll probably puke at how awful it is. Even, plot wise. A disaster, but my stories now are definitely an improvement, in my eyes anyway. Just, don't be afraid to fail sometimes.  
• also, if you do start writing and then you dislike where to story is going or you don't feel comfortable writing it and becomes more of a chore than enjoyable, don't be afraid to stop. Take a break, breathe, and start over.

THESE WERE HIGH CLASS QUESTIONS MAN MY THUMBS ARE CRAMPING FROM ALL THIS TYPING :D but they were great. ty and ily and best of luck if you start writing (also I'd love to read it if you want)

* "I'm italian, so just cause I'm curious, do u know there's a Pham here in Italy and/or are You surprised about it? Cause we want a #TATINOFitaly" ~ hayhey

I did not know that the phandon reached out to Italy, but I'm really all that surprised. Dan and Phil are wonderful and I'm glad that so many people get to witness their wonderfulness. Also, they're coming to the US, but I'm not going cry. I hope that #TATINOFItaly becomes a thing because it should and I hope you would get to go.

JUST BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU :*

* "What is your irl first name? Where are you from? What are your next fics plans? How did you get the idea for this particular fic?" ~ LittleMaya (she said, "a few cheeky ones [questions] that aren't about the story" and I love the word "cheeky" so thank you)

A LOT OF QUESTIONS IN ONE - LET'S DO THIS

1) my name is [DAN]  
LOL NO BUT I HAD TO  
my actual name is Shanna. That is pronounced in the same way you say "Hannah." There is a just a "sh" in front of it. Aha. (:  
2) I am from the UNITED STATES IF AMERICA AND LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT HOW /WONDERFUL/ FREEDOM IS *eagles in the distance* (idk if you were asking nation, or state, so I just put nation)  
3) actually, if you continue reading, I plan on having all of my next fanfiction ideas down below!  
4) I read this oneshot a really long time ago (can't remember where it was posted, what the title was, or the author, and I probably couldn't find it if I tried). It was Jalex (Alex Gaskarth/Jack Barakat of All Time Low) and I used to be a huge fan of that ship, like hard core. Anyway, it was really good and inspired me to write this. It was originally jalex, but I kind of started to not ship it as much, so I abandoned it for a while and then came back, switched stuff around, then continued with it as phan.

THOSE WERE LOVELY THANKS ilyvm x

NOW - what's happening next?

I have so many ideas for stories that it's unreal. Obviously, most of them will probably never happen but oh well. That's life.

I have, though, already started on this new story (it's phan) called "The Bucket List" and the prologue is already up. The thing about this story is that it deals with cancer and sickness and everything that goes with that, but it's also about love and finding happiness in the worst of times. So, it's sad and angsty but also cute (hopefully)

Here is the summary:  
~ he has one year until he's dead. one year until he's six feet under. one year until he's just a memory.

one year to really live.

"what am i going to do?"

"everything." ~

The story can be found here: [;)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6565618/chapters/15022459)

(also I made this neat cover which you can find here: [!!](http://sillyphillylester.tumblr.com/post/143002789348/pretty-neat-cover-i-made-for-the-bucket-list-on))

Those of you who read "Signed, Dan Howell", I am sorry to inform you that it is probably going on hiatus. It feels boring and I don't enjoy writing it right now.

After I get The Bucket List settled into my routine and I get used to it and everything, I have a pretty cool idea for this destiel (Dean/Castiel from Supernatural) story. It's mostly planned out, minus the small details and stuff. It's sort of a "my best friend's brother AU" and it has nothing to actually do with the show, minus the characters, so if you wanted to read it but don't watch the show, you could without a problem.

Honestly, I have a few ideas (pls don't steal this bc I haven't actually written it yet and I rlly want to omg) for movie parodies. Like, I have one for High School Musical where I'm going to take bands like Panic!, FOB, My Chem, and TØP and make them the characters and it's gonna be such shit but so funny oml

And then I have like 20,000 story ideas for phan and there's a good 3 that I definitely want to get done at some point.

BUT YEAH (I digress soz) THIS IS HOW IT GOES  
• The Bucket List  
• Destiel thing (p soon actually)  
• maybe the parody thing (if that sounds okay idk)  
• more phan

OH AND POSSIBLY A SEQUEL TO THIS AT SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE (you should stay subscribed just in case)

** actually if any of you have any ideas for possible sequels (like what it should be about) you should message me somewhere (I'll have another list of my social medias down below) OR if you want to hear the idea(s?) that I have and/or give your opinion on it, you can do so (I would appreciate it tbh)

<3 alright, now something v important.  
I just want each and every one of you to know that I am here for ya. If you need a friend, someone to talk to, someone to rant to, or anything, you can come to me. It will not be bothersome. I will probably actually really enjoy the company.

With that said, you can find me here:  
• on ao3 obviously  
• wattpad: simplyundead  
• twitter: @ simply_undead_  
• Instagram: simplyundead  
• tumblr:  
1) music blog: snazzy-tunes  
2) son blog: say-yestiel-to-destiel  
3) phan blog: sillyphillylester  
4) pastel appreciation blog that I just made bc I'm a basic piece if tRASH: aestheticallypleasingpastel

I think that's all the social medias, yes? Idk, but there.

also, this is a bit random but oml look up these songs bc they're my jam rn and I love them and I hope you do as well...  
• Pink Lemonade by The Wombats  
• Can't Take My Eyes Off You covered by Muse  
• Supermassive Black Hole by Muse (this has been my favorite for a LONG time oml)  
• Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons  
• Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by The Beatles (one of my favorite songs of all time man oh man I love The Beatles)  
• Reforget by Lauv (its so good omgomg)

THERE IS PROBABLY WAY MORE BUT I CAN'T THINK BC IT'S REALLY EARLY IN THE MORNING (lol 8 am)

I am running out of things to bore you with and that makes me sad omg I'm crying because I will miss you all *heavy breathing* pls do not forget me ;~;

okay but seriously I love you all so much. You are all precious, smol, gorgeous beans and never in my life have I met people as wonderful as you. Never forget that.

With that, I bid you farewell. (Aha so fancy)

So long, and goodnight.

(omg I had to :D)

(love, Shanna <3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It just hit me while filling out these notes that I'm never gonna do this again for this story a d I feel like someone ripped out a piece of my heart


End file.
